Wednesday, January 25, 2023

Nearly three months into my "out" experience. The tales of living in a conservative town.

Hi friends!

Here I am, still alive and kickin' and doing my thing. I've worn skirts or dresses nearly every day since the second Monday in November. I think there have been three or four days where I was "shamed" into wearing my jeans to work.  I am using the quotes on shamed because the women at work really get joy from wearing jeans and felt I should partake with them.  I made sure on those days to wear as feminine a top as possible.  

So, here are some of my observations and things that have been said to me or about me.

After doing this for so many days, one of my direct co-workers said that she'd not know how to process it if I wore male clothes to work! That was said today. She's the one who inspired me to dress.

One of the workers who occasionally travels from the city to our office to meet with our customers told me I looked great when she saw me for the first time since last year.

We had a lead social worker come to our office to introduce his replacement. I don't know how he felt about my changes.  The new guy was okay.  I think our retiree was instrumental in the departure of another social worker (pressured her and made her feel unwelcome) which was a bummer. She was a pretty awesome person. Unfortunately, she was a bit of a square peg in our office filled with round spaces. She and I got along really well.

A woman who does community outreach recently came in and saw me for the first time in a couple months.  She was supportive and asked a bunch of questions about how and when.  

I've heard from co-workers that some of the customers have badmouthed me because of my appearance. Frankly, I'm not worried or even bothered by their opinion. If they're so cowardly that they cannot say something to my face, so be it. Their loss.  

I've had people say sir to me and ma'am to me. Hearing someone say, "Hope you ladies have a great day about me and my co-workers makes me feel amazing.

I had a older guy who I've helped many times in the past come in and he told me that he's proud of me.  I was a bit shocked, he's kinda religious... It was a pretty good interaction.

I've had many compliments on my nails, my earrings and a few for my hair?!? One guy yesterday complimented me on my new hair color! I truly don't think it was a back handed compliment.

I've decided to not be offended by innocent misgendering. Sometimes it's totally innocent. One lady said "sir" to me and immediately apologized. I replied, "Life is too short to worry about something trivial and apology accepted.  A couple days later she came back in and was totally cool, said she was glad to see us at the window because she felt good when she left the office the last time.

I've made trips to the city in without worrying about carrying a spare outfit.  I've also had times where I'd worn male clothes to the city because I had plans with someone who isn't aware of the existence of me as Heather. I'm at ease with both halves of my existence.  I'm comfortable as Deadname or Heather but I cannot imagine going to work dressed in male clothes again.

If you're on the fence about making something happen, do it! Don't live in regret. Don't get to a point that you wonder "what if I had just done it!

Years ago I had told my wife that I don't want to get old and have a number of things that I'd always wanted to do but was too scared to do it.

Please, just do your thing!