Sunday, December 11, 2022

Traveling by air en femme!

 On Thanksgiving Day, I flew east to see my parents. Hoping to have some time to bring Mom out and give her some time out of the house.  The plan was set, airfare purchased, car rented... Go!

I get there and things aren't great health-wise for the family.  More on that later.

I've said before that I had hoped to fly en femme on my next trip.  I did it!

I chose a faux suede skirt, a matching turtleneck, knee highs and my Clark's shoes that I've been wearing to work daily. 

Here's a rundown of my experience:

I think I had anxiety while packing for this trip. Packing and choosing what to put in which bag was too emotional for me.  My spouse suggested that it may be a result of knowing that I'd be doing something that is causing stress.  In the end, I didn't really wear all of the clothing I'd packed.

Getting ready Thursday morning, no big deal. Smooth and stress free.  Took a couple tries to get the suitcases finished but far less drama than before.  Got dressed and loaded the car without incident.

At the airport, unloaded suitcases and went to check-in kiosk and only issue was not getting the "checked bag" tag printed, had an interaction with the curbside agent who printed my checked bag tag and took the case.  

I proceed to the security checkpoint. They x-ray my carry-on items and ask about my new pill dispenser. It was funny, they asked what the round thing was and I was clueless. I'd never used it and totally spaced what it was.  The TSA rep didn't press the issue and said to head to my gate.  I basically breezed through security at Harry Reid Las Vegas airport.

I wasn't sure how my wig would fare while flying. I worried that it would move/shift/twist inflight. It didn't do any of those things!

I think I slept most of the way to Nashville, waking about 45 minutes before we landed. I didn't have the window shade raised and had no idea that we were about to touch down. Bam!!! We landed hard. It totally startled me.

I had about 90 minutes to wait for my next flight. It was late morning there, I'd never been to the airport there. The place had the aroma of a smokehouse. I didn't get barbecue for a number of reasons, mostly I didn't want to be messy.  I got a Caesar chicken and spinach wrap where usually I get some kind of generic fast food.

I board the next plane and fly to Bradley Airport.  Basically uneventful, I'm awake for the entire flight. Collect my checked bag and proceed to the wrong rental car counter which has no line, I take the elevator down one floor to the Budget counter finding that I'm about twelfth in line. However much later, I finally get to the front and get checked in.  Go to the doorway, a porter comes over and offers assistance, he brings my minivan to the door for me.  He loads my bags into the van and I graciously offer a tip. 

The van reminds me why I think there needs to be more standardization in the operational controls of vehicles.  Headlight switches, windshield wipers, horn buttons, emergency brake operation.

Driving to my childhood home I'm chatting with my spouse about whether I am going to change my clothes before arriving.  I decided not to. I make a phone call to Mom, letting her know I'm about 10 minutes away, she puts a pizza into the oven.  I get to the house.  Lights come on inside and outside the house. I'm gathering my stuff in the front seat and trying to open the driver's door and for some reason am unable to do so.  My Dad comes outside (he's 83 and it's raining lightly). I finally open the window and open the door using the outside handle. I step out in my skirt and turtleneck and say "hello, I look a bit different."  Dad asks if he can carry anything.  I only grab my carry-on items leaving the larger suitcase in the van and proceed into the house.  Mom sees me and I say the same thing, "I look a bit different." I don't think she was really okay with it.  They asked what was behind my dressing in woman's clothing, I said that I'd wanted to try it after successfully doing Halloween so many times. I told the story of breezing through security and not having to wear a belt (I hate wearing a belt on a plane!) and that's the end of the conversation until after we ate.  After arriving, I didn't change from my traveling clothes.  At some point, Mom looks and says "oh, your ears are pierced too? I replied, "Yup, and I'm just as sensitive as you are to non-pure metals." Mom has to wear Sterling silver or really good grade gold because her skin reacts to the nickel in lower grade jewelry and mine does too.

Mom's not been well, she went to bed early.  Dad and I are sitting around the table, he says to me that my look is "very becoming."  I think Dad approves.

Friday morning, we get up. Dad's up first. Mom's miserable. A couple hours later, Mom asks me to bring her to the ER. Oh boy, this isn't what I'd envisioned for my vacation. I load everyone into the van and bring Mom to the ER, grab a wheelchair, roll her to the admission desk.  (She's home now and recovering). That's the last time I saw her.  The ER parking lot is non-existent. There is no place to park to unload two elderly people, check one of them in and keep the other under control.  I park the van in the general parking area and walk back, I'm told that only one person can remain in the waiting area. I'm not kicking my Dad outside so I go to the cold, covered patio area and ask to be notified if they take Mom anywhere. I text my sister, she tells me that Mom's just been tested as COVID positive. I go back to the admission desk, ask to have my info registered with Mom so that I'm the person to be contacted for any and all communication since my sister went out of town.  (In my ten days, I never heard from the hospital.) I collect Dad, we walk back to the van and drive home.  My sister texts me and tells me that she went to CVS and bought COVID tests. She also tested positive but her husband tested negative and now I'm concerned.  We have two test kits in the house.  I also go to CVS and buy 5 more tests. I test Dad and myself.  Dad is also positive but luckily I'm negative.  Fortunately, everyone who tested positive had minimal symptoms from COVID.  Mom's hospitalization was more related to some intestinal mass and ongoing kidney failure.  Mom returned home on Wednesday. She's doing much better. 

While at CVS, the clerk compliments me about my silver nails. I believe the clerk would identify as non-binary.  I tell them how I had achieved my look... Three layers, Revlon 215, silver and then a clear with glitter.  It almost looked 3D and textured.

Sister and her husband eventually come back to town. We had some business to attend to  and they had planned on doing yardwork at the parent's house: leaves, cleaning the gutters, removing downed limbs from the trees, etc.  We do that on Thursday. Brother in law is concerned because he's recently been diagnosed with something that can compromise his health so he stays outside when my sister and I are inside.

The only recreational thing I did when I was there was drive Dad around so he could be out of the house. We didn't go far.  Dad doesn't remember well, I think there are factors involved with this which haven't been diagnosed. He's also not real good at cleanliness.  That I managed to stay healthy was a miracle.  I told him repeatedly about his positive COVID tests but he forgets things within a few minutes. While I was there, Dad commented positively about my silver painted nails.  While I was in the house, I wore a pair of black leggings, clingy shirt over my bra and fairly large breast forms.  Dad never commented on my breast size varying from arrival to departure.  I retested myself and Dad  through the course of the week, I remained negative. Dad's positive results took longer to show on the test kit.  He remained positive until the Tuesday after I'd left. Sister also tested negative at that time.

Saturday was my return flight. I gather my stuff and pack up.  I didn't choose to wear the skirt but I did wear the turtleneck and large breastforms when I left the house. I found an empty parking lot to change into the skirt, gassed up the van and drove back to the rental agency.  Went to check my bag and proceeded to the security checkpoint where ID check person was having a bad day.  He was admonishing everyone that they "only need their ID, nothing else." I get to the scanner and the tech asks how I "want to be scanned." I replied, "huh? What do you mean?  He just replies get on the footprints and spread my legs more..." Once again, my carry-on needed scrutiny. The item set aside for inspection ahead of mine was a box filled with many smaller boxes.  It took forever foir the agent to get through the many boxes.  Te reason this time was I'd left a pair of fake boobs and the pill case in my carry-on.  I told the agent as he opened the case, if it's the round thing it's a pill dispenser and there might be some fake boobs, too.  All good, he opened the case, confirmed what I'd said and told me to have a good day.  I told him I was plenty early and thanked him for doing his job..

Time to wait for my flight, I decided to eat. McDonalds provided a Filet O Fish Combo for the small sum of $13. Ouch!!  The food was okay but not worth $13 in my opinion.  Off to the gate to wait... No drama, no hassle, no nothin' to speak of. The flight to Denver was mostly full but somehow I had the luxury of not having a person in the middle seat.  This also happened on the flight from Denver to Las Vegas.  I napped a bit on both legs of the trip.  The rest of the trip was nothing to speak of, arriving at about 11:30 p,m.  I collect my stuff and head out to meet my wife in our car.

I guess the bottom line is that for the most part, nobody will really pay attention to you if you're just doing your thing.  All my interactions were okay. I felt great with my choice, having a skirt instead of pants was a good decision.  TSA in Vegas probably sees "everything" so ol' Heather won't even be al blip on the radar.  TSA in Windsor Locks doesn't have the traffic/population/diversity/anything goes attitude that Vegas has.  I remember a departing flight from Bradley, maybe three years ago, the TSA poked my breast to see if I was smugging something. I was wearing a tee shirt over a sports bra and cotton breast pads.  I almost felt violated by that.  I understand that they're doing their job...  

If you're thinking about doing something, do it. You aren't getting any younger. You'll be fine.  I am.  I'm happy.  Since "coming out" at work, I haven't worn pants to the office.  I haven't had a negative or derogatory comment made to my face.  My coworkers have been much more supportive than I could have ever expected considering how politically opposite they are to me.

Ok, that's all there is for now. This meandering post has taken far too many days to complete.


Sunday, November 20, 2022

Another day, another tragedy.

Hello everyone,

It is with much sadness that I'm writing this today.

I'm horrified at the complete lack of respect for human lives shown by ignorant and violent people.  We awaken to hear of another mass shooting at a LGBTQ nightclub.  This time in Colorado Springs on the eve of Transgender Day of Remembrance.  A senseless loss of lives and many injured.  People out having a fun time, trying to relax or get drunk or hook-up or just get away from the hassles of their life, out for a night of entertainment and some M-Fer has to come along and shatter the lives countless people because the victims are living the way they're comfortable.  I was in Colorado on October 1, 2017 when the mass shooting happened in Las Vegas.  I know people who were at that Las Vegas concert. I know people who had family affected by that shooting.  When I was in Colorado, my family was there too, A couple weeks later, there was a chaotic scene in Thornton, Colorado when a wacko started firing in a Walmart.  My family was IN that exact store a couple weeks before.  I know exactly where that happened.  

A sensible person would think that after all the tragedy in Colorado that has experienced over the last 25 years where innocent people lost their lives at the hands of deranged people brandishing firearms, heck sensible people would think that after thousands of innocent Americans have been killed by deranged people with firearms our leaders would somehow take the lead and offer relief from the fear of losing our lives because we were in the wrong place at the right time.  

Apparently risky behaviors:

Eating at McDonalds in San Ysidro, CA.

Watching a Christmas parade last year.

Attending elementary school.

Attending high school in nearly every US state.

Shopping for food to feed their families.

Walking between classes on a college campus.

Soldiers on their Army base.

Watching a Batman film.

Attending concerts.

Sitting on your front porch.

Driving in your cars.

Being an American President watching a play.

Being an American President or Texas Governor riding in a limo.

Being another American President leaving a speaking engagement at the DC Hilton. Yeah, we got the Brady Bill but we still have violence.

Acting. Actresses shouldn't be shot and killed by stalkers. Yes, Rebecca Schaeffer's death in 1989 led to anti-stalking legislation but 33 years later people are stalked and subjected to violence.

I don't understand. 





What can drive a person to feel the need to kill.  Everyone has their demons, I get it.  I struggle with being transgender every day. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and fear of going to work and struggling to find happiness but nothing, and I mean NOTHING would lead me to think that killing another person would be a solution to MY problems.

And yes, there are always mental health issues that cause a person to act. There are substance abuse issues, too.  Maybe our leaders should address their own mental health issues and dependency on blood money to act by representing the ALL THE PEOPLE of the United States of America instead of their GD donors and effin' members of their bloodthirsty, gun loving party.

People say there is no way to completely stop this. I disagree. Look at most every other nation on the globe. The US leads in the number of firearms held in private hands. We also are leaders in the numbers of firearm related deaths based on sheer volume. Australia took action. Canada took action. New Zealand took action. A killer may still be able to kill using other weapons but the number of casualties will be greatly reduced. The nutjob who killed on October 1, 2017 in Las Vegas, leading to the greatest mass killing of innocent private citizens would have not been as lethal if he'd been brandishing a bladed weapon.

And gee, I wonder why I was reluctant to go out in public as Heather?  Will I be targeted? Will I be threatened or subject to violence because someone doesn't like how I look or dress?

Do me a favor, please... Please contact your legislators and ask them to enact sensible laws to protect ALL Americans from senseless gun violence. Ask your legislators to enact sensible laws to protect the civil rights of ALL Americans including protections of the LGBTQ folks who are currently being targeted by many US States. We just want to live our lives without fear of violence.

Thank you.


Sunday, November 13, 2022

Huge update!

 tl; dr version is I''M OUT AT WORK!

Hello friends.

Here's the deal.  After wearing my lovely dress on October 31, a woman I work with (Ms. G) said in that dress I was "glowing." A couple days later, we were supposed to have a photo taken for our office's holiday greeting card. They wanted it to happen on Friday 11/4 but I would be off for a dental visit. I said why not today, Thursday? A quick response of "No way!" from another woman (Ms. D. We all agree to make it happen on the following Monday.  The woman who said I was glowing told me that we all have to "look pretty" for the photo.

For the entire weekend I'm thinking about "looking pretty" at work. I ask my spouse, "What do I do? Do I follow through on Ms. G's request? She even said to wear the red dress I'd gotten from Dress Barn a few years ago."  Sunday night I pulled the red dress from the closet.

Monday morning comes... I get my routine started about ten minutes earlier than usual but still haven't made a firm decision to dress pretty.  In the shower, I do a quick cleanup and remove stray hairs. Still no decision made.  I then give my face a close shave and move to the bedroom.  Still unsure.  I dig out the nylons and start pulling them up my legs.  I've worn nylons under my work pants a number of times in the past.  On goes the bra and the appropriate breast forms.  I've worn a bra to work daily for at least five years and breast forms in my bra for at least four years. Once I had the nylons on, the decision was more likely. Next a new camisole and then the chunky heeled sandals I'd worn the previous Monday. Over everything goes the red dress and my little "shrug" sweater thingie that I'd worn the other time I'd worn the dress.  Back to the bathroom to add some eyebrow tint and mascara.  Gather my things: purse, insulated bag with granola bars and water and out the door I go!

At 5:50 am, it was a bit chilly but I was not too cold.  I get to the office, walk in alone, go to my desk and Ms. D glances at me and I say, "I did it! Ms. G said to "look pretty. I am."  "Well, okay!" she replies. For the first two hours, co-workers come to the front office where I work and look at me puzzled, I tell the story of "look pretty" for the upcoming photo. 

We've been on overtime for a couple of months, that's why the six am start time.  Our office is open to the public from 8 am to 5 pm. Last week, my job was to be the person to triage our customers, to determine what brought them to the office.  I was the first employee seen by the public. I had some great interactions with people.  Some didn't read me, even.  I think a couple of old guys thought I'd be interested. I'm not! There were some who I"ve seen many times and didn't say anything and there was one who said "that is a new look." I don't remember what my reply was...  I know that there are at least three women in the office who share my political views, out of 22. One of the women saw me and whispered, "You look great!" Ego boost!!!

We take the photo around 3:00 pm.  It was great.  A short time later my direct supervisor, pulls me into the office manager's office and tells me to sit. Usually in an instance like this, a person would have some kind of fear. I didn't!

She goes on to tell me that she's been waiting a long time for this to happen. 

"Huh?" my mind races! She gave me a hard time when my hair got long and she also gave me a hard time when I kept my pink fingernail polish for 3 weeks after our last approved Halloween.

She told me that she's glad for me. She said that our employer has protections for all. She said that if I wish to be addressed differently or use pronouns, she'll stand beside me 100%.  I told her that for the time being, we'll not make any changes.  I also said that new pronouns are still a hard thing for me to use, even when I know a person uses something that is different than it had been.  I thanked her!  We talked about how others in the office might react, I stated that I might worry about a couple of people's reaction but if they give me trouble, I'd pop them in the nose. (Of course I wouldn't and I explicitly told her that if there was any hostility toward me, I'd let her know, if she's not available, there's a whole chain of command that I can rely upon.

At the end of our shift, I told everyone that I didn't know "who" would show up Tuesday. 

Tuesday, I don't ever remember what I wore! I had to go into the bedroom and figure it out!  Red floral skirt and textured V-neck white tee that I'd bought as a back-up for the poodle skirt Halloween outfit.

Wednesday, I'd worn a tan faux suede skirt with a turtleneck.  One female co-worker asked about my choice to change my wardrobe.  I explained that I prefer it and it really makes me happy.  She loved my outfit and said that she was jealous that I look better than her. (I don't, really!) I just hate wearing a belt, truly hate wearing a belt. She said that she was happy for me especially considering where we live.

Thursday, I wore the same pink, purple and red tie-dye skirt and tee shirt that I'd chosen for the Pride parade. 

We were off on Friday to remember the sacrifices of those who served in our military.

Saturday was another workday! Another 8.5 hours of overtime! I chose a black and white patterned cotton dress that I'd never worn. 

So what does this mean? I'm out at work!

We're up to Sunday. Today. Right now. The present. At nine-thirty AM I have an appointment scheduled to get my flu shot, shingles shot and COVID booster at a local pharmacy.  I have to be there in ninety minutes. I'm sitting at my desk in leggings and a long sleeved shirt.  I think I'll probably wear better leggings and a nice top. Don't know. I'm also thinking about wearing the velour skirt and turtleneck. We'll see!

Thanks for visiting!



Thursday, November 3, 2022

I did my thing on Monday. Halloween. Our sacred day.

I went to work. In my dress.  First time in two years that I've been able to dress authentically in the office.

I've never had such a wonderful reception to what I wore to the office.  One co-worker said I was glowing. They were disappointed when I arrived Tuesday morning in a button-down shirt and pants.

My interactions with customers were all positive. One older man had no idea that I wasn't a cis woman. No, he wasn't hitting on me.  I don't remember the full conversation but his name was the same as a famous old time movie actor and I said that I was named after my dad...

My big statement was I hate wearing a belt, one of the other male people in the office agreed.  He's a supervisor, we spoke about whether it is okay with the higher ups and how would wearing a dress work with the office dress codes and my response was that the code allows gender expression.  It was a great day.  I totally rocked the dress.  My only problem was that I am not used to wearing something that has a slit and I was a bit self conscious when the wind started blowing.

I will be talking with my therapist about how this will affect my psyche.

I do think this is a great step.  


ps. after leaving work on Monday I did the most important thing as an American citizen.  I cast my ballot in the mid-term election.  I went to the polls after leaving the office, still in my dress. The "greeter" at the polls said I looked lovely. The guy who gave me the ballot, didn't think twice about who I was and how I was dressed.  Totally businesslike.

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Living my best life as a woman? Drudgery? Interacting with the 5-O?

On a recent Saturday I put on my favorite pink and purple skirt and went to Vegas to do my usual auction pickups, a bit of shopping and see the kids.

I went to my two auction pickups and was heading to see the kids, stopped at a red light. Light turns green, the guy in front of me decides that he's going to make a left turn from the center lane.  Guy behind me starts blasting his horn, I toot my car's horn to get the guy in front of me to move out the center lane.  He finally moves and I proceed forward. The impatient guy behind me decides he's going to speed past me in the right turn lane and sideswipes me as he goes by.  I went along my way.  He pulls off to the side of the road and I drive along, heading to see my kids.  Next thing I know, my van is being hit from the left side and I'm spinning counterclockwise.  I get out of the van and he says to me, "why did you hit me?"  It was at that point that I decided to not move the vehicle to preserve evidence of skid marks in the road.

He called police, I called 911.  Shortly thereafter, I call my ex-wife and let her know that I'd be late as I'd had an incident.  She tells me that she's going to send her new husband who is a former Las Vegas cop to keep me company.  I told her to let him know that I'd be the one in a skirt.

He arrives and we hang out for a few hours waiting for the officers to arrive.  After a while, he calls to dispatch and updates the information they have on the crash. Telling them about the details of how I had been PIT maneuvered by the other driver.  A while later, my ex arrives followed shortly thereafter by our kids. We're all just hanging out, being silly waiting for the officers.  The other driver had a couple people who had arrived and were chatting with him.  

The officers arrive and my former police officer friend goes to chat with them, after their conversation I speak with the officers and tell my story.  The officers look at the evidence, take measurements and photos of the skid marks and photos of the damage to both cars.  Officers took recorded and written statements from the me and that guy and then release me, I drive away.  My ex stays on scene for a couple minutes and sees that the other guy seems to be arguing with the officers, flailing his arms about. (Not a way to convince someone that your side of the story is right.)

All in all, I had to live a day filled with police interaction and it made no difference that I was in a skirt.

After all this, I missed the opportunity to go to Costco so I suggested to the kids that we go to WinCo foods for me to get some of the groceries I would have bought at Costco. Another interaction with a live person, the store's cashier was wonderful. No rise, no questions, just a nice person doing her job.

I get home and call the insurance company to report the claim. They tell me that the other driver has already reported the incident and apparently claims he's injured.  The claim also says that the incident happened at a different location, miles west of where it happened, and that the driver was MY WIFE! 

The insurance company calls to get a recorded statement from me.  I state that I feel that I was assaulted by the other driver when he slammed into my vehicle with his PIT maneuver. 

A couple days later I get an email from my insurance company to verify who was driving my van and who took the photos of the crash scene and damage to my vehicle.

Me and me I replied.  Spouse was home, many miles away.  I think there is clearly a question about my identity. If someone comes out and asks me directly, I will state the obvious but I didn't volunteer anything.  I guess my look was good enough to pass the test of interaction with other people.

I'll keep everyone posted with this interesting adventure.


Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Pride weekend! Age of Chivalry Renaissance Faire! Such fun!

 Last weekend was really, really busy! Friday night was the Las Vegas Pride Parade in downtown Las Vegas. I worked a half day.  Before the parade, I had to stop and get a replacement battery for my car and I really needed to get my hair cut. Because of timing, it was easier to do those in the same clothes I'd worn to work but I'd brought along my clothes for pride and a folding cot to stay overnight with my kids.  They'd suggested I stay over since we were going to the pride festival the next day and I'd save the cost of fuel driving 140 miles home and back at least once that weekend.  Photos were not my strong point for this trip.

The Pride Parade was pretty amazing.  It seemed that we had the same type of group standing near us, boisterous and attractive to the parade marchers.  The people distributing swag seemed to be gravitating to the people south of us.  We had some people stop for us, though. There was a youngster just north of us, we made sure that the people gave her swag too.  

The greatest thing was knowing that our State's Governor, both US Senators and 3/4 of our US Representatives were in support of the LGBTQ+ community. Many of them were in attendance.  The Las Vegas Sun published an editorial about how the GOP candidates are shunning the LGBTQ community. Of course, their actions prove their intentions.

Saturday brought the Pride Festival. It ran from about 12 to ? but I had to ditch at around 3:30 due to a prior commitment. We did some exploring but I didn't get to see everything because of my time limitation.  The kids stayed late. On the way home, I stopped at both a donut shop and Filipino restaurant. The clerk in the donut shop complimented me on my skirt. Oddly enough, every time I've been into the donut shop, the radio playing in the location has always been tuned to a christian station. Inspirational music! Clerk liked the outfit of a transperson!  I call that a win.

Sunday was the Age of Chivalry Renaissance Fair, an annual tradition for me and my kids.  This year, they brought along friends from work. I'd med the two women at the kid's house but hadn't met one woman's significant other, Caleb, before. I was uncertain of how the new member of the group would react to me in a skirt. No reaction. They're a great bunch of people.

For all three days, I'd worn the same skirt, basically purple, white and pink stripes. Friday and Saturday, I chose a white tee shirt and Sunday I had a blouse that was more like a peasant top.

It was a great weekend.


Sunday, October 2, 2022

Out and about part deux.

 Hey there!

A week ago, more pick ups at the auction house.  Hooray, new bed sheets! Also a trip to a grocery store and another trip to Costco. Same outfit as before. Costco was uneventful but when I went to the register, the very conservative male cashier asked if "person named on card" was here. I replied, yes I am!

It wasn't a solo trip, oldest kid accompanied me.  We stopped at Ulta beauty, too.  I needed something to tint my brows to better match my favorite red wig.  We talked to a customer assistant in the store and I interacted with her. We got a brush on product that should be a better match. 

It was a very positive experience.

It's getting comfortable to be out as Heather. Next weekend, we have a three day Heather schedule. Friday night is the Las Vegas Pride Parade. Saturday is the Las Vegas Pride event. And Sunday, we're going to the Renaissance Faire.  

It's going to be fun.

I'll surely share all the details from the weekend!


Sunday, September 18, 2022

Follow up and more!

 Hi  friends!

Yes, I went to Costco last Saturday. Sunday morning arrived and I needed a few things that I didn't want to buy in a super-sized Costco package.  I put on the same clothes from the previous day and went to my local grocery store.  The only difference was that I chose to wear a wig instead of the cap.  Yes, I've gone shopping to this local store en femme during Halloween outings and even gotten my flu shot three years ago on one of the trips but never had done so on a mundane Sunday in September.  Again, totally uneventful and absolutely wonderful.

In my recent posts, I mentioned the auction house.  They handle "online returns."  Mostly Amazon but some other e-commerce retailers too.  

I've gotten some very nice clothes, some leggings, nylons, tee shirts and lots of bras from these auctions at excellent prices and my spouse and I have gotten some great deals on household items, cat food and cat litter.  The clothes mostly have been for under $5 per item.

When I traveled to see my family, I'd worn my largest pair of breast forms and taken three sets of breast forms for daily wear and sleeping.  Upon opening my suitcase, I discovered that my "A" cup forms had ruptured. Luckily they were in a plastic bag so there was no contact between the gel filling and my clothing.

I ordered two sets of replacement forms, one set of "A" and one set of "C" cups.  I usually get about 6 months of daily use from a set before the fail and I've been using the "C"s since last December.  When I got home from my trip, I'd looked at the auction items and discovered "returned" breast forms up for bid. Searching a bit more, I discovered silicone breast plates for sale.  I'd never bought anything like this because I didn't know how they'd fit my ample frame.  I took the plunge and bid on a set of  Vollence "strap on" breast forms and two silicone breast plates.  For about $30, I have three new items.  My spouse picked up the auction items yesterday.  The two sets of forms I'd ordered earlier were about $80.

I'm going to share what I learned from spending $30 on fake breasts. Reminder, these are all e-cmmerce returns and have no original packaging, care instructions, information regarding the manufacturer or original seller. Sometimes the auction listing is the generic page title showing every combination of product sold in the listing.  Multiple "skin" color choices and sizes offered by the seller. I washed each set in my sink with a biodegradable non-detergent soap and hand dried them with a clean towel.  FYI, DON'T wear these vest style breastplates if you don't have someone around to help extricate you from the breastplates!  It was funny, when we were trying to remove them

First item: "Vollence Strap on Silicone Breast Forms Fake Boobs for Mastectomy Crossdresser" product review.  This set has a pair of large circular breasts with bit of a collar.  The breasts are fairly close together.  They almost look like they're too close together.  Adjustable clear straps extend from the sides of the breasts and from the shoulders crossing the back to secure.  The "flesh" tone is a golden tan. The nipples are soft and elevated but not ridiculous.  The surface is very smooth and glossy but the smoothness shows some wrinkles.  I don't think I'd be able to wear this set in public if their neckline were visible.  Who knows how long they've been sitting smooshed in a shoebox on a pallet inside a warehouse. If I had purchased them at retail and received what I got yesterday, I'd return them for a refund but for pennies on the dollar, I'm satisfied with them. I may be able to wear them under a tee shirt or certainly under a turtleneck.

Second item: "ARRIZE Silicone Breastplate Crossdresser Breasts D Cup Realistic Breast Plates for Transgender Drag Queen" product review.  Prominent nipples angled nicely. The breasts are close together.  Super stretchy and it seems to have enough stretch to fit me but this one is tight. The neck was pretty constrictive. With assistance, I was able to get this set on and it took plenty of effort to remove.  I'm certain that it will be the only time I'll wear this.  

Third item: "Silicone Breastplate" Yup, that and one photo is all the auction listing showed.  No idea of what kind of pig in a poke was coming.  The breasts are slightly smaller than the other breastplate but this one has more stretch and is much more comfortable.  This breastplate has very prominent and firm nipples which are odd and angled outward.  The breasts are closely placed.  I was able to put this on without assistance, removing was another story.  


Fourth item: "CeesyJuly Womens Shapewear Butt Lifter Padded Control Panties Body Shaper Brief SIZE XXL"  2XL is for a 24" waist. I'm fairly certain that the circumference of one my thighs is close to 24"  It's tiny.  I don't think I had a 24" waist when I was in high school! Maybe a 29 but 24? No way!  Too small to review!

Fifth item:  "Defitshape Women's Padded Seamless Shapewear Panties Hip Enhancer Underwear Shaper Shorts 5x"  It actually fits. It actually pads my hips. It has nothing for the rear, just the sides.It isn't the most comfortable garment to wear though.  I think it'll work very well along with the item below.

Sixth item.  "Women Hip and Butt Enhancer, 4 Removable Pads Panties High Waist Trainer Shaper Size: 3XL"  It's a bit uncomfortable but it fits and adds padding in places I need some extra help.  

Hope the coming week is nice


Saturday, September 10, 2022

Quick message.

 Hi friends!

Today is Saturday, September 10, 2022, and I just got back from a trip to Vegas. Picked up great items from our favorite auction house, stopped to see my two kids and their Mom, went to Costco and then did another auction pick-up.

As we left town, it was starting to sprinkle.  Here I am wearing a white tee shirt and thin cotton skirt, "Oh jeez, raining out and I'm in a thin white tee-shirt" I whine to my spouse.

Yes, I did all of the things above in a tee and skirt.  Not a single person called me "sir" today.  This is my first outing in Vegas fully dressed up during the daylight hours where I wasn't going to some event with a costume or LGBTQ theme or one where I didn't have a backup plan with male(ish) clothes and no kids along for moral support.. I wore a white shirt, pink/purple/white skirt and pink cap. Take me as I am, world!

Today was a good day.

Yes, there tales to be told from my traveling to see my parents that will be shared in the future.  


Thursday, August 11, 2022

Hot August Nights in Reno. Riding trains in Carson City, Virginia City, car shows and a a full weekend out and about.


Yeah, I meant to shout. Yell it from the mountaintops.

My kids and I drove from Vegas to Reno last Friday.  We drove through the same storm that flooded Death Valley National Park. I chose to drive down to Vegas to meet the kids as we had won a large number of interesting items at the auction and they needed to be picked up. In my last rambling, I'd stated that it was going to be a full weekend in girl mode. 

It turned out to be a FULL WEEKEND IN GIRL MODE filled with human interactions and amazing experiences.  

Starting out, driving from home to Vegas with a stop at the auction. For the drive I wore the new polka-dot dress that had been picked up the previous weekend. It looks really good on me.  I am really considering this dress for my Halloween outfit.  I met the kids at their house, unloaded the van of the many new items and we loaded their stuff in.  Heading out of Vegas, we made a quick stop at a McDonald's. I was driving and I was the one at the window interacting the drive-up person. 

I drove north where we encountered the only construction are along our route, we sat for about ten minutes. Our first rest stop was in Goldfield, NV.  The ladies room was much cleaner than the mens room.  It was there that we changed drivers, youngest kid drove the rest of the way.  Next stop was in Tonopah, NV to put some gas into the van and food in our stomachs.  FYI, the Tonopah Burger King was not great. Their drive-up was very slow.

Thirty minutes after entering the drive-up lane, we got on our way. Kid drove through to Reno. We arrived at our chosen hotel.  We parked in the parking garage and found our way to the registration desk.  It was a busy Friday night at the Circus Circus Reno since the Hot August Nights classic car event was happening. It was a challenge for me and my fear of being in public in a dress. It was exhilarating.  

Saturday morning came and we did breakfast at Einstein Bagels, my outfit for the day was a black & white floral print sleeveless dress with a light sweater for sun protection.  Our first adventure stop was the Nevada State Railroad Museum in Carson City. While there, I used a certificate for free admission to the museum, the only catch was that I had to show photo ID to use the pass.  I flashed my ID and the certificate to the person behind the desk, his eyebrows raised when he saw the name on the pass, my ID and my outfit. There are amazing exhibits at this museum and the admission is only $8.  I remember watching a piece about one of their pieces of equipment, the fully restored McKeen Motor Car, being rescued from usage as a storage shed and plumbing company office.

My oldest kid arranged for passage on their excursion train.  The 1905 Baldwin Ten Wheeler, Number 25 pulled us around the grounds three times. The locomotive was having air pump problems and had to stop at least once per time around the property to build brake pressure. Hey, the thing is 117 years old and she was having a moment.

After our ride, we piled into the van and headed up to Virginia City, NV.  And I mean UP.  What a climb into the hills. We arrived at the Virginia and Truckee RR just as the second to last train was about to depart. It was too late to ride so it gave us time to explore the gift shop and check out the static exhibits before riding the day's final excursion. Two steam trains ridden in one day. the 1906 Baldwin 2-8-0 Number 29 took us on the out and back.

The conductor told the tales of the mines along the route and some of the history of the Railroad. In a way, it was a bit of the normal "small town" bashing of Californians. Asking if CA residents had to pay taxes when they crossed the Nevada border. Virginia City is in Storey County, NV which is a very red place. About 66 percent Republican. Not as conservative as Nye, County which is about 69 percent Republican.

On the train, we sat across from some allies. My youngest has a denim jacket with many LGBTQ patches and pins.  The folks across the train asked to see the jacket and my kid obliged and told of some of the pins and patches.  We all talked both on the train and a couple times after our ride.  It was great!

After riding, we drove into Virginia City where we found a craft fair in it's final minutes. We stopped and checked out some of the vendors. Kids found some neat stuff before the fair closed.  

We piled into the van and headed to our second night's accommodation in Carson City, delivered our belongings to the room and piled into the van for the trip back to Reno   We stopped at an IHOP for dinner and had some amazing interactions with the restaurant hostess and our server. To Reno and finding a space for the van without having to walk too far.  In the parking lot of the Atlantis Hotel, was a show and shine. We walked in to the lot and followed the sidewalk to the reviewing stand where the classic cars were coming right to us  for the cruise event.

There were about six rows of the parking lot filled with classic cars.  The usual mix of abundant Camaros and tri five Chevys, El Caminos and Mustangs and old Mopar. There were a handful of oddball cars, rat rods, customs, chopped, lowriders with amazing paintwork and some survivors. I prefer the oddball car.  It takes guts to restore a '69 Torino or AMX or International Pickup instead of a car that almost every repair or replacement part available "off the shelf."

Sunday morning, we stopped at a McDonald's for sustenance, got fuel for the van and headed south for the return trip.  Halfway home, we stopped again in Goldfield to check out Goldfield Days. All the main events had ended but we went into a couple stores, visited the Chamber of Commerce's booth, used the facilities and drove toward the edge of town. But... before leaving... we went to the "International Car Forest of the Last Church."

It is like the Car Henge art installation or the Cadillac Ranch in Texas but this place uses former school buses planted at a 45 degree angle and stuck into the desert among other cars planted around the forest.  For me the challenge was driving around the place in the van and not taking risks with our vehicle.  There are different levels of the art installation, I started by heading toward the upper area thinking there would be a loop road connecting the different levels.  Wrong!  We drove by the few upper vehicles and aforementioned angular school bus and I see some paths leading down but think "I cannot see what is ahead and I'm not wrecking our car just to look at a bunch of already wrecked cars.."  So I turns around and go back to the obvious roadway leading to the lower area with the bulk of the art cars.  It was pretty fun trying to figure out what each car was before it got planted. Subarus and a Pinto and a last generation Roadmaster sedan with the roof painted in the trans flag colors and "trans pride" across the flag and what was probably a Chevy milk truck with a mid sixties Buick limo on it.  Each of the vehicles had some kind of art painted on it.  I was more interested in the cars than the artwork but I do have photos to check out.

It was everything a free art installation could be.

What a great weekend!

I didn't chicken out. I didn't rely on any backup plan aside from wearing shorts under day two's dress so I wouldn't reveal too much... I had the challenges of dealing with strangers and moving about in public.  I didn't panic too much and had a genuinely good time.

I think I've decided that the dress I wore Friday will be what I wear to work on Halloween.  It looks good on me and I have a strong level of confidence in it.

Thanks for stopping in



Sunday, July 31, 2022

Ramblings. and Ramblings!

 Hi friends,

My spouse and I have been into buying and selling stuff forever. 30 years ago, we would go to auctions and buy box lots and hold a yard sale to make some side money. 20 years ago, we would go to auctions to buy box lots and sell the better stuff on eBay. For a couple years, we had a space in an antique mall where we would sell a range of crazy stuff in our 8' by 10' space. The antique mall wasn't a huge moneymaker for us.  It usually made enough to pay the space rent but it rarely brought enough to compensate either of us for spending both days working a full shift.

eBay has become an expensive site to sell on. Craigslist isn't easy to deal with the spam and bots trying to scam us. Facebook marketplace just doesn't bring results.

But... But we still monitor the sites where we used to buy. The main auction house we used has transitioned (LOL) to not selling "general estates" and the "anything or everything" in-person auctions where we could purchase huge boxes of stuff, filled with crazy, random things have gone away. That auction house is now selling online merchandise returns and online estate auctions.

The online return sales are pretty amazing. It's much like the way eBay was when it started, before every item was seemingly priced at full retail. There are deals to be had. Most of the return item auctions bidding start at one Dollar and the increments are also one Dollar. The most interesting thing is that the auction house allows returns on the return item sales if it isn't as described.

We started seriously looking at the return stuff sales at the end of last year. My spouse has figured out a way to affordably buy household stuff that we can use around the house, ground and Keurig coffee, we've gotten stuff for our cats including canned food, a couple of radios, all sorts of neat stuff. The best part though, is the clothing. For a Dollar or five, there are some great clothes we've gotten. Yesterday I picked up our 12 purchases. The listings are pretty crappy so we have to decipher what it is we're bidding on, the photos don't always show the important stuff like the size tag. This is why it's good that things are returnable if misrepresented.  I bought a bra that was supposed to be and sold as a 44C but when I opened the bag, the marking on the inside of the bra clearly said 36B. I think the most I've spent on a single piece of clothing is about $15 to buy a bra that retails for about $55. Most of the stuff I'd picked up yesterday was MINE! A gold velvet skirt and a weird black blouse that looks good with the gold skirt. An LBD with spaghetti straps. A navy dress with white Polka-dots. A black & white sleeveless mini-dress and a box of six robin's egg blue tank tops. I think I paid $7 for all six of those. There were only a couple of non-clothing items purchased, more SF Coffee Co Fog Chaser pods, waterless pet shampooing wipes and a pair of evil looking "mole killer" things that my spouse will turn into scrap metal.

My ultimate goal is to wear women's clothing exclusively. I'm building up my wardrobe to make this happen. So far pants are the hardest part to find.  It's really critical to try them on to know how they fall on my body.  Skirts, dresses, tops, underwear, leggings and socks are pretty easy to find and fit. Shoes are sometimes iffy because I have wide feet.  I have one pair of pants that I would wear but my shape and their shape weren't compatible. in case you're wondering where I'm buying.  I don't think they will ship the stuff you buy if you're not able to pick it up at their warehouses. 

Time to ramble on about a different subject.  Travel!

Last Christmas, my oldest kid struggled to give good gifts at Christmas.  She decided to use her heart.  She made a generous donation in my spouse's name to a beloved charity. The Loon Preservation Society in New Hampshire.  She offered her mom and mom's fiancée a trip to see our son and his wife.  And for me, she offered to pay for a trip to the Nevada State Railroad Museum in Carson City, NV.  We have made reservations to go up there in the near future.  We'll be taking my van and staying in Reno.  I don't know what events or attractions will be seen when we're there. I'm excited! I can't remember if I've driven through Carson City ever. I've driven from from Vegas to Bridgeport, Ca once and from Vegas to Reno for an event at Lake Tahoe once. I think I may have driven through Carson City on the return drive but it was back in 1999 and specific details about that trip are fuzzy.

The big news about this trip will be that Heather and the two kids are the only ones going. There will be no "backup plan" for me to revert to boy mode. I may not even take shorts! Skirts and dresses, only! Heck, I've got some really nice new clothes for this trip.  I'm going to have to figure out how to navigate the world as Heather for the entire trip.  It's exciting and a bit scary but since the kids will be with me, I should have no problem dealing with what may come.

Hopefully I'll be able to take some photos and share them here.

Thanks for stopping by!


Saturday, July 9, 2022

Independence Day


I was invited by my kids to celebrate Independence Day at their home for a pool party.  They were grilling some burgers and hot dogs, having a few friends from their office over and just hanging out.

I've met one of the women before, she's got a great personality.  I've shown photos to her of my kids and me when we've gone out to Ren Faire.  The other two were new acquaintances.  I don't know if my kids gave the three a heads-up or not but they told me that Heather was welcome.

I admit to being a bit nervous, being in the company of new people but it was fun.

I have a black one-piece swimsuit that I wore under my dress for the drive and when it was time to swim, I swapped my dress for a thin slip style cover-up.  My biggest fears were revealing too much because the suit didn't have much lining at the bottom front and having a fake boob fall out of the swimsuit.  Neither happened. The cover-up did its job almost perfectly, while in the water it was pretty flowy. When I got out of the water, the thing was nearly sheer.  I was almost feeling overexposed! 

After the friends left, I told my youngest that I didn't give myself an "out." I only had female type clothes with me again.  I need to build the confidence to just be comfortable in the world. 

Have a good summer.  I'll check in soon.

Friday, April 1, 2022

Transgender Day of Visibility redux


It's 12:05 on Friday April 1, 2022.

I'm sitting at my desk in my bra and panties.  We just got home from our regularly scheduled Thursday therapist appointment.  I went to our appointment in my pretty dress.  

Our therapist opened the door and looked at me and at first didn't recognize me. I waved and she did a double take and smiled. It felt great to be there, like really there.

Along the way, we stopped to pick up a drive thru burger. It was a great experience.

For the first time, I've been out on TDOV en femme.  

Okay, I've been up since 4:30 am. I am tired.  


Wednesday, March 30, 2022

March 31 is Transgender Day of Visibility.

It is nice to feel represented in modern society.  The person in our nation's highest elected office recognizes that transgender people exist. 

The person in Nevada's highest elected office recognizes that transgender people exist. 

I know that both of these leaders have done things in the past that don't exemplify the values they express today AND I acknowledge that it's possible that maybe these people have learned and evolved.  More than anything, I appreciate that there is a change from the previous Administration's effort to return any non hetero person to the stone age or 1950's.

So... tomorrow is Transgender Day of Visibility.

I've aspired to participate in years past but never have succeeded. My wife and I have a recurring event bi-weekly Thursday nights.  I will be attending tomorrow's event in a dress.  

Go out there and be visible!


My observations:


After two days publicly crossdressed I recognized that at Pirate Fest and Drag Queen Bingo there was no real sense of unity in how the attendees were dressed.  I found that maybe half of the people at Pirate Fest were in street clothes. I wasn't in a pirate type outfit but having a peasant inspired outfit made sense to me. There were people in Kilts. There were Captain Jack Sparrow imitators. There was at least one furry. There were also folks in Steampunk garb.  Ultimately, it's nice to see people attending the events and visiting the vendors and it's good to see families out in the park.  

I told my Mom that we had attended the Drag Queen Bingo event.  She asked me if anyone was dressed up in the audience.  I told her that only the Drag Queens and I were dressed up.  I think she was taken aback and replied that she's glad we had fun.  

At Bingo there were a few people dressed "to go out."  My wife and kids looked pretty nice, a dress and skirts.  I didn't walk through the entire room, we arrived late so I didn't see everyone coming in or leaving but there was one woman in a lovely 1940's style red polka-dot dress that really caught my eye.  A couple of other women were wearing nice dresses, on par with mine or maybe a step above it. I don't recall seeing any of the men wearing anything above business casual "Friday" clothing.  Mostly dressed to go to Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon.  It's a bit of a bummer.  

I think the charitable organizations found the event to be worthwhile and are planning a return of the Drag Queens.  I WILL be attending in the future.

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Two days. TWO DAYS en femme!


Here is what I was going to type but saved it as a draft.

Going out is a bit scary, though.  Every time I've been in public in my hometown, dressed as Heather has had an "excuse" - - - Halloween. 

Attending Drag Queen Bingo will be different. People I know and people who know me will be there. My kids will be there. This will make it a bit easier. My wife will be there, reluctantly. She's not thrilled to do anything in public. She's not a fan of drag queens. Being with me dressed as Heather in public makes her uncomfortable.  

Kids and I went to Pirate Fest. I was going to wear my sundress but instead chose to wear my regular outfit of brown peasant style skirt and a new to me peasant style peasant blouse.  It was bigger than last year. We had a great day.  On the way home I stopped to pick up a frozen pizza at grocery store. I didn't fret about going in the store in a skirt and blouse and used the self check..  

AND we did drag queen bingo! I wore my pretty dress for the second time since buying it at Dress Barn so many years ago. So long ago that it was before Dress Barn closed and was reanimated as an online only entity.  I did see people I know.  I don't think there were as many people from the community at the event as there were people from the groups sponsoring it.  All in all, many of the people who I knew didn't initially recognize me.  In my opinion, I wasn't the best dressed attendee, bummer.  I was among the best dressed maybe in the top three or five.  It was fun.  

I admit I'm exhausted.



Saturday, March 26, 2022

The weekend is here. Lots of plans.

 Hello everyone!

Welcome to Saturday.

Thursday afternoon I get a text from my youngest kid. "Pirate Fest" is happening this weekend!

I reply, "Yay!💥, Seriously?"

Other kid replies, "Indeed."

Me, "Who approved that? I'm interested but have to think about it."

In reality, there is no thinking about spending two whole days out and about in public as Heather. It's more about making sure that I don't really have other obligations or "must do" tasks planned.

Oldest says, "I thought it was in April, I'm glad I looked."

Me, "Highland Games are in April."

Youngest, "Is pirate fest AND drag queen bingo doable?"

Me, "I can pirate on Saturday and bingo Sunday."

Youngest, "That would be lovely if we can, I wanna dress up in my hand made costume."

Me, "Sounds perfect."

So, after working FIFTY hours per week almost every week for months and not really getting many days to really sit and relax, I'm going to have a great day out. Last year's Pirate Fest was the first "big" event held during the pandemic era and I imagine this year will be even bigger.  I think we've been to Pirate Fest three times in the past.  It's just a fun day out.

I'm looking forward to being out today, the weather is supposed to be sunny and warm.  I promise to wear sunblock, drink plenty of water and have a good day.

Have a great weekend


Saturday, March 19, 2022

I'm here, I'm alive,.

 Hi everyone,

Been busy. Our office has been on overtime for MONTHS.  I've worked five ten-hour days nearly every week since September plus regular activities and volunteering a couple Saturdays per month.

I'm exhausted.  It's financially rewarding but phew. 

Back in January I got sick. It went around the office like wildfire. Five days out of work. I absolutely hate being sick. I think that part of the reason most of us at work got sick is that we've been working so many hours, some are working eleven hours and Saturdays had been offered and that led to everyone being overtired and not having enough personal time to do nothing so our bodies could keep our immunities up.  

When I volunteer, it's a completely different situation from work. We have a fairly tight-knit group working together, we all know our tasks and do what we need to do. It's a combination of physical and mental work and very fulfilling. We work anywhere from 8 -12 hours, usually twice a month.

About a month ago, I'd heard that one of my favorite places was holding an open house. I'd told my kids and one of my friends about the event.  Kids and friend were excited to go but friend backed out at the last minute. This gave me the ability to dress differently than if he'd gone.  

We drove to Boulder City, NV to visit the Nevada Southern Railway's open house.  Youngest wore her homemade rainbow dress and oldest looked like a mid-century lovely.  I wore leggings and a knit pullover.  If nothing else, we were colorful.  We toured all of their exhibits except the engine house.  We took a ride on the train.  It was a fantastic day.

I'm working my way up to being comfortable in public dressed however I'm dressed. It's hard. It's scary. It's totally worth it. Ultimately, nobody really cares. When we were at the Railway, I interacted with lots of people and never felt like they were staring at me or treating me differently.

Twice a month, my wife and I have been going to therapy.  I think it's been a good thing.  One of these times I'll attend my session in a dress. I've already worn the leggings with the knit pullover top. Her office is in a nicer area of Las Vegas, on the second story of a building with a couple of restaurants and offices.  When I'm not in my hometown, I don't worry as much about how I'm dressed or who sees me.  There are places in Vegas that I know that my co-workers go and I try to tone it down in case someone might be there.  Some would take it well and others probably wouldn't.  I can't say how it would be received even though they've all seen me on Halloween.

That's it for now.

I'll be on again soon. I'll share the adventures from Drag Queen Bingo.



 A friend is associated with a non-profit group. The non-profit is joining a couple of other non-profits to hold a fundraiser. It will be a drag queen bingo event. The friend asked me today if I'm going and will I dress up for bingo?

I'm interested in going and haven't thought about dressing up. Hmmm.

That could be fun.


Thirty bucks a pop to attend. It could be worth it.

Friday, January 7, 2022

It happened.

 I did it.  Yep.  No denying it.

New Year's Day, I decided that I'm going to spend the day dressed up.  

The back story:  We've been on a bit of a spending spree lately.  We have bought items from auction houses for about 30 years to resell.  One of the auction houses we've dealt with has stopped selling loose item lots and stopped doing live, in-person auctions while shifting to a focus on higher end estate liquidations and online auctions of return items from companies like Amazon and retail returns from places like Target or Kohls. We've bought one pallet lot from Liquidation dot com and made some money from the things we'd purchased.  

Some of the items we recently purchased were a size 2x maroon dress and a shoulder length red/orange wig.  This, along with nylons, heeled sandals and massive breast forms was what I wore to my ex-wife's house for the annual celebration.  It was nice.  It was fun.  I was comfortable.  In attendance were:  my ex, her gentleman friend and the two adult offspring.  My ex asked if I was uncomfortable in the nylons.  I wasn't.  She also said that my legs looked great in the hosiery.  I think my youngest got my legs!  Their legs are shaped the same as mine.  The five of us all enjoyed the afternoon and evening.  I will say that to the kids, I'm still Dad. To the ex-wife and her gentleman friend, I'm not known as Heather but rather my birth name.  Yes, it was odd/weird to be called that while wearing a nice dress... but I believe no evil intent was meant by it.  When I was getting ready, I made a point of not taking any male clothes.  I could have no backup plan and no way to chicken out.  I had my dress, a cape to keep me warm and my back-up clothes were leggings, my oversized top and a pair of flats. She had told me to wear whatever I was comfortable wearing.  I did and wll again in the future..

Another thing, my current wife and I are going to therapy.  We both have things that need to be worked on so we decided to try to seek a way to resolve the things that are amiss.  In the interest of honesty and openness with our therapist, I told her about my life as Heather.  At this week's session, I chose to wear the same clothes I wore to Christmas.  My wife was a bit uncomfortable because she's not sure leggings are ever appropriate plus she thinks I was too visible...Black leggings with a long shirt, my parts should be pretty well concealed.  I told the therapist about going to the New Year party and she said Heather needs to come to the next session.  I am all for that idea but my wife may be unsure ...

Saturday, January 1, 2022

This day, January 1 2022

We've been invited dinner at the home of my ex-wife and daughters.  The guest list includes my ex, our two daughters her gentleman friend, and who knows who else.  I went for Thanksgiving. The above people and her brother, his wife and their son were there.  After they left, I got my bag of girl clothes from the van and put on leggings and a pink blouse.  I went on Christmas; the brother and family weren't there.  I wore the same leggings with an oversized purple top. I was very comfortable.

I've said it before, everyone can get along. There is tolerance in our relationship. I think that I'm supposed to be angry at my ex but I can't be that way. 

My wife will stay home. She doesn't always like traveling three hours round-trip just to eat. Being on a diuretic sucks and when there is anxiety too, it's even harder to navigate social interactions.

I really want to wear something nice today.  I'm seriously considering wearing my pretty dress. I just don't care.  I also have a new dress that was bought from an auction doing Amazon returns.  I think the style of this new dress is "Body Con."  I tried it on, if I pad myself and fill it properly it looks okay. If something happens to it and I spill something, no biggie.  It cost a couple dollars.

Time to get ready.

Happy New Year.