Monday, June 19, 2023

An outing? Real and maybe travel plans, too.

 Juneteenth. Very important and historic.

I'm glad to know that it is recognized as a Federal Holiday and many states including Nevada are including it as a State Holiday.

We've come far but there is much to be done.

Outing. Well, sheeeew. There are still people who I haven't introduced to Heather. 2/3 of my kids are fully aware of me, my ex and her new husband too.  Years ago, I threatened my parents to bring Heather and I did last November.  Dad seemed to be okay with it but Mom was clearly not.  

I have friends who have seen me dressed for Halloween and/or "special" events but never for any other occasion.  I had one friend we'll call Ms. D who come into my office twice when I was dressed. First time was a Halloween at work day and the second time we were busy and I don't think she really SAW me.

Friday of last week, I was in the office and I hear a customer ask where I was. I have stopped wearing my glasses so looking at a person 20 feet away doesn't really give me a good idea of who is asking after me.  I walk over and after talking for a couple minutes, realize with whom I'm talking. We'll call her Ms. C. A mutual acquaintance of the person in the above paragraph. I'm thinking, well Ms. D has been put off by Ms. C's antics and was likely out of the socio/professional circle.  Saturday comes and I go to the group where I volunteer and toward the end of the check in period comes in Ms. C. Oh boy. I'm in boy mode. The only person in our volunteer group with whom I'm out is our pro (Ms. S) and is an ally and I'm completely comfortable with her so I am out to Ms S. for a couple months.  I do most of the initial check-in paperwork, which I'd never done before. And go to the second process which leaves Ms C. with Ms. D.  I'm around the corner, doing my thing and I hear Ms. C telling the story of seeing me Friday. Ugh.

To myself I say aloud, "my secret is out."

As volunteers, we all have tasks that we're most comfortable doing. Some do prep work, some move things from room to room. Some check in or check out. As we're all working, someone says "that Ms. C is something!" I tell stories about my previous experiences with her. She's a trip, all right!

Through the course of the day, this is what I hear about Friday: Nothing. Nothing at all. At some point, I'm working alone with Ms S. and I mention the whole "outing me" to Ms. D. I realize that I'm going to have to come out to everyone some day and I almost think it's really no big deal but I also want it to be on my terms and only on my terms.

Have a good week,



Ms. S was talking about a recent trip she'd taken with some friends to the Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah.  She also said that she would like to go back soon.  I mentioned that it would be a fun trip especially if I went as Heather. The towns of Colorado City, Arizona and Hilldale, Utah are nearby.  These towns are where many members of the radical FLDS sect led by Warren Jeffs live.  I'm working at convincing my spouse to go along. I think it's going to be fun.

One more thing...I'm flying to New England for a week in August.  I'm pretty sure Heather will be going along and nearly positive she'll be flying again.

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Outrage! Boy-howdy what a rambling tale!

 Hi everyone!

June 3, 2023. 

We lived through the outrage of certain books in our public libraries and the libraries of our schools.

We've lived through the outrage of Drag Queens.

We've lived through the outrage of Bud Light.

We've lived through the outrage of Target.

Welcome to PRIDE month 2023!

I'm out at work. Openly presenting as a female every day. My coworkers still call me my other name. (My choice, not theirs.  My statement to everyone was, "you've known me as that name for eight years AND I have only told two people that I go by Heather.)  I'm referred to as "ma'am" by most of our customers. Some customers are terrific, some... not so much.

Some days, my presentation is perfect and I feel amazing. Other days, I look and feel a bit bedraggled.  Such is life.

Back to the "out at work" part.  I "cut the cable" a couple of years ago. I no longer have access to the 24 hour news cycle provided by cable/satellite TV. $80 + per month and we rarely watched anything.  Spent a few bucks on an antenna and new wires.  Of course I still have the internet and that TV antenna on the roof of the house for broadcast television.  At first I watched TV every day, I had certain shows that I'd put on when I woke up and just needed something (Barnaby Jones on ME TV) if I didn't return to sleeping on the recliner.  I don't watch the local news, I stopped watching the local news a few years ago, before the Presidential Primaries, the local stations started sounding like Cable News with their canned statements, Corporate Opinions presented as "news" and clear bias against the best interests of the American citizens. At work I hear ALL about the manufactured crisis regarding the never ending flood of immigrants and most recently the crisis presented by the LGBTQ community and our effect on America's children.  "How Target IS selling bathing suits for trans kids, right at the front of the stores, even." "Kohls had to put PRIDE items in the front of the stores, Now I can't shop there!" "So many kids getting disfiguring surgery!" And this gem, "Just keep the kids out of it."  (The person who said this is 1/2 Native American AND Christian? Does she know the part religion played in the decimation of her ancestors? OR the massive problem with pedophilia in the Catholic Church.) Maybe Kohl's has PRIDE stuff on display out front but... Christmas stuff including Nativity Sets are displayed BEFORE Labor Day! Where is the outrage about that? I never hear Muslim people, Jewish folks, Buddhists, Native Americans, Agnostics or anyone else whining about the religious overload clogging our retail spaces for FOUR SOLID MONTHS!

I'm not anti-religion.  It's like the adage that I modified slightly, "Religion is like a penis. It's okay to have one but to force everyone to abide by it isn't right." Our nation and it's system of laws was built on a distinct separation of State and church. The First Amendment makes it clear:

"Amendment 1

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..."

If any of these people used their common sense, did their own research and opened their eyes they would realize that none of that above info I wrote about swimsuits, kid's getting surgery, etc are accurate. They're just being fed lies from their Cable TV Overlords to incite hatred toward people like me. I've been told that they're happy I finally came out? (Y'all say that crap within earshot of me and you're happy that I'm out?) They waited so long for me to do come out? (Do you know what life is like in small town America?) It's borderline hostile to overhear some of the things said in the office. Just gotta vent for a bit. I probably won't say anything to the big bossy bosses even if I might have a reasonably strong case. If I lived where I used to live, I'd have greater options to change my office location and wanted transfer options.  This town is pretty much a one-horse town.  I make decent money, don't have too many stresses at work, have a decent home.  To quote my Mom, I'm not going to make too many waves unless it genuinely becomes an issue. I have to consider the risks and benefits to opening my mouth.

There are only a few TV shows I watch on live TV and have missed them when first aired so I usually stream the three animated shows on Fox Sunday nights; The Simpsons, Bob's Burgers and Family Guy.

Sometimes, Homer and Peter are clearly past their "best by date" but those shows are usually relatively entertaining. Bob, Linda, Tina, Gene and Louise plus the supporting characters of Bob's Burgers are involved in great storylines.  It's refreshing to see inclusivity, acceptance, love, trust, success AND failure on TV.  It's a thoughtful program. It makes me happy. It makes me sad. I love seeing what scrapes the family is getting into.  

The separation of State and church also applies to other issues too. I don't think any group should be imposing extreme ideologies on the entirety of a population. People are arguing that the LGBTQ community is trying to do it. The LGBTQ community isn't trying to make everyone become L or G or B or T or Q or I but we'd really like everyone to be Inclusive and an Ally! We're not forcing anyone to do anything but we are asking for them to accept us as equals. Give us the respect that their "lord and saviour, Jesus Christ" preached about.  The religious faction is trying to impose their beliefs and faith on our laws/society/citizens: Controlling healthcare for women, restricting abortion access, banning trans kids from living authentically. (Their argument is: "They're too young to know for themselves." I know what I felt when I was twelve. I know how I felt when I was 22.  I know what I felt when I was 30, 35 and 37 and felt like a huge part of my identity was shoved into a tightly capped bottle.  She only was able to exist after the family went to bed or at the two adults only Halloween events I'd attended. The few times I'd gone out were great but things change and opportunities no longer occured FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS.  I felt shame for wanting to live authentically. I didn't want anyone to know because I'd feared that I'd be labelled a freak.  When I did come out to my wife, it was rough for her. I didn't know how hard she had taken it, she didn't share her concerns until recently.  She's come to be very okay with me being Heather and all that she encompasses.

Heather says to go have a great PRIDE month.

Much love to all..

Be happy, be yourself.