Monday, June 8, 2020

Voting and feet.


I've been wearing my sandals (the heel is a couple inches high, rubber soles) to the office for about three weeks. I had to wear them because a month ago I fell while helping someone move furniture onto a flat trailer.  We had placed something on the trailer and I was coming down the slatted ramp.  My foot slipped through the slats and every limb went in a different direction with me falling flat on my back.  I haven't a clue how I didn't break something but am thankful.  The result of my fall was initial swelling leading to a huge bump on my left shin. Also my left foot turned a spectacular color purple. But only along the inner sole and three of my toes.  I chose to wear sandals when we were called back to the office because slippers were not an option.  

Last week, my coworker noticed last week that they're women's sandals. I told her that they were the only footwear I could wear and are incredibly comfortable.  There was no way I could wear my male sandals or shoes.  She's the one who said that I should just wear women's clothing when I dress for Halloween.

I didn’t go to the doctor at the time I fell. Everything worked and really there was no pain.  Tenderness, yes. Pain, no.  After a month, I still have a sizable knot and what looks like a burn on my shin but all the bruising seems to be gone from my foot but there is still swelling.  I didn’t go initially because I’d discussed it with my wife.  She agreed that if it seemed like nothing was broken, they probably wouldn’t do anything but since I still have swelling, we made an appointment for tomorrow.

One more thing.  Where ever you live, please register to vote.  I fully support the #BlackLivesMatter movement.  It isn't that other lives are not important.   It isn't that other groups are not important.  It is that blacks are dying at the hands of police after a minor interaction.  I support candidates who don't promote racism.  I support candidates who don't hide from people who are different.  I support candidates who don't behave as a racist.  This is 2020.  There is no excuse for hatred in our modern world.  As a person who identifies as a trans-female, I stand with my brothers and sisters.  While I may not be able to live 24/7 as Heather, I am confident that there are people in government who are actively working to make the lives of people like me harder.  

I ask you to Vote Blue, No Matter Who.

Thank you

Heather

ps, Don't spam!



Saturday, May 30, 2020

Life and all that other stuff.

It's been a month. My son recovered from COVID-19 without issue. He's well.  It is frightening to see how devastating this virus is. 

I'm still working. For two weeks, we were forced to work from home as the office's internet provider's tower had a failure.  Although it's not impossible to do my job at home, it is far too awkward.  We had been advised that our office would be re-opening to the public on June first but Wednesday, word came down that the office was staying closed for an additional two weeks.  I'm not sure which is the best answer.  I'm glad that the heads of the division are putting caution at the forefront.

2020 will go down in the history books as a year filled with revelations.  We are seeing violence against people of color.  We are seeing violence against trans-women.  We are seeing threats of violence toward state leaders over the efforts to protect the citizens of their states.  Over one hundred thousand American lives have been lost as a result of inaction.  People are protesting lockdowns, complaining that they cannot get a haircut yet other people die because they have more pigment in their skin and have an interaction with law enforcement.

I ask one thing: Have some compassion.

Be safe out there and please don't spam.


Heather

Thursday, April 16, 2020

COVID-19 and the reality of 2020

Hi

Just here to say that I've learned that my son has been confirmed to have COVID-19.
I'm told he's doing ok. He's home and aside from a little difficulty breathing, he's okay.  He's sequestered himself in the basement of his house and my daughter-in-law is remaining upstairs. 

Am I worried? Yes. Am I scared? No. He's in decent health, not quite 30.  His mother is absolutely freaked out. I told her that because he's young and in ok health, he has a good chance of fighting it off.  Hopefully I'm not being overly optimistic. 

He's kinda distant with us.  Always had a "I know more than you" attitude.  We've asked his wife to keep us informed and I'm hoping he tells us everything that is going on.  We've never had a good relationship since Mom and I divorced.

I'll keep everyone posted.

Heather

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Easter Drag

Good morning,

I'm no longer a religious celebrant. I was raised Catholic and went through most of the Sacraments.
As we all know, today is Easter Sunday.  Celebrating a rebirth.  As a trans person, we are able to say that we are reborn when we become our real self. 

On Facebook, there is a page named "Growing up in Holyoke, ma" and I follow it.  I was born there, my parents grew up there, my grandparents lived there and I spent plenty of time in Holyoke, Massachusetts.  This page is posting photos of one of the city's annual traditions, the Easter Drag.  In 2020, I'm honoring the tradition by wearing a lovely skirt and colorful top and looking "fine."  I see the photos in their collection, gentlemen and ladies in their finest. Children in suits and dresses.  Ladies with lovely skirt suits and a fur wrap. (Fur is dead, man!) Oh, how the times have changed. 

I have an errand to do today.  I have to bring the household recycling to the town's bins and it will be my personal version of the Easter Drag.

After the recycling run, maybe we'll go for a nice drive into the desert and I can take some photos.

Yesterday I went out to the store for the first time since 4/1.  I drove to Vegas to Costco.  I broke the social distancing rules by visiting my daughters and bringing one to the store.  I wore an over glorified camisole with padded underwire bra with an open white blouse over and dangly earrings, pink cap and floral scarf over my respiratory orifices and still got called "sir."  Going to Costco during the COVID-19 pandemic was a bit surreal.  In a way it was like I'd been transported to Disneyland with all the queuing to enter the store, to get through the front section of the store and to pay.  We were in switchback lines for about 15 minutes to enter and once we got into the store the store was divided to force traffic through the front aisles and along the outer aisle directly to the bakery area.  Not shockingly, there were many people who weren't wearing masks or gloves.  I saw infants, kids under ten, teens and plenty of adults without protective coverings.  At least the majority of employees were fully protected, all of the inside workers and most of the outside people.  I was going for myself and two friends.  The daughters needed a couple things and their mom, too.  I had no problem filling my cart.

It was nice to see my daughters, it's been weeks and I missed them.  It was nice, we called my parents and we all talked for a few minutes.  It is good to be able to know that everyone is doing as well as possible during this weird time in our world. 

Done for now.

Be well. Be safe. Be healthy.

Heather



Tuesday, April 7, 2020

A week later, bam!

Good day, eh!

I hope this note finds everyone in good health and spirits.  The house of Heather is doing ok.  The spouse of my boss is still in the hospital without any great improvements. The great part is that he's not getting worse.

Someone in our office decided that we needed some kind of events for the week. Five days, five fun things to do:

  1. Monday, Pajama day. Wear your favorite pajamas to the office.
  2. Tuesday, Twins/triplets day. Find a friend and dress the same.
  3. Wacky outfit/wacky hair day. Wear something wacky.
  4. Sports team day. Wear your favorite sports logo clothes.
  5. Animal prints. Wear something with an animal print or animals on it.
I did not wear pajamas Monday.  It isn't for a want of choices.   My daughters gave Heather a pair of pink pajamas for Christmas and I have some nightgowns but the pajama bottoms are a bit too big and I didn't think it would be a good thing to be constantly having my drawers dropping and my nightgowns are barely to my knees. I was concerned that I would be too inappropriate!

Today was twin day.  Mrs C, who has never participated in our Halloween exploits, suggested we dress alike.  She offered some suggestions but nothing really struck our fancy.  The obvious factor is that we can't go shopping so it was important to find something that exists in our closets.  I asked if she had a white button up shirt and black pants.  She said yes so I mentioned a Harry Potter theme to Mrs C and Mrs S.  Black pants, white shirt, scarf or necktie, pointy thing for a wand, easy peasy!  Of course the ulterior motive was to be able to be Hermione.  Long story short, I had the pleasure of being dressed in a white blouse and black skirt at work.  

Tomorrow is "wacky outfit day."  I told everyone that I don't what to wear tomorrow.  I'd suggested a hippy look.  I have some peasant skirts which would be perfect.  Or I could wear my favorite dress from Halloween. 

Thursday and Friday should be easy.  I have stuff that will be perfect to wear.  I'll just have to figure out tomorrow.

Happy Tuesday.

Take care of yourselves and families.

Heather


Saturday, March 28, 2020

End of week two.

Hello y'all!

I'm still working in the office.  There are ten of us in the office. There were eleven but her husband is home sick. Yes, a co-worker's husband is sick. My town of about 38000 has no "test kits" available so there is no way to be sure of what his affliction is.  My co-worker will be working from home for about two weeks. I admit that I'm feeling far more stress than any person should but I know that my situation is not bad.  We have plenty of food, all the vehicles have a decent supply of fuel and my family still ok. 

I have the next four days off from work.  I advised my wife that I'll be spending all of my time "extra girly." I have nails painted a deep red and for the first time in a while I applied makeup.  My choice of lipstick really makes my face look "washed out."  I also used eye shadow and mascara.  My ample brow was trimmed way back. I have never thinned them out as much as I did this morning. 

I was planning to go to the desert with a friend on Monday but out of a sense of fear, we're not going. My plan for Transgender Day of Visibility may be renamed Transgender Day of Socially Distant Visibility. I think I'm still going to take a drive to a place where I can go for a nice walk into the desert.  Heather's never been out hiking but she is itchin' for an adventure.  If I do take a walk, I'll try to take some photos. It will be nice to add some color to my page.

Have you noticed that people seem to be going stir crazy? My little town had four fairly major criminal incidents this week.  A guy was angry about an internet outage and when he didn't get an answer which satisfied him, he called a bomb threat to the police. Later that night, a young man had stabbed someone.  The police tracked the suspect to his residence and in the process of speaking to his mother, the guy started firing a shotgun at the two responding officers. The officers returned fire. The suspect is deceased and one of the cops was shot but is expected to eventually recover. Then I heard about a high speed chase along our main highway.  Some woman in a BMW was arrested after the police and highway patrol safely ended the chase. The police found the woman's two kids in the car.  The last incident was where a woman was shooting a gun in a neighborhood.  She was safely taken into custody and as far as I know, nobody was injured. On top of those wretched acts, a Nevada Highway Patrol officer was murdered yesterday.   It happened in northeastern Nevada, near Ely.  Tragic and senseless. 

On a similar note, my very conservative uncle posted a meme on Facebook.  The meme was saying how some wingnut is outraged that relief money is being "given to the Kennedy Center and PBS."  Times like these are exactly why we need funding for the arts and humanities. We have millions of children staying home from school.  I would rather them watching the educational programming on PBS than other "over the air" daytime television.

People need to calm down, acknowledge their stress and find a way to reasonably blow off steam. 
Becoming Heather is one of my primary ways of finding refuge. Heather has a calming effect in my life. When I'm Heather, I feel there is a part of her who is my "Jiminy Cricket," the one who is making sure Heather's being the best person she can be.   Heather does have her faults. She likes to buy new clothes and she may have an overabundance of bras... and I have not bought anything in months!  Such is life.

Have a safe week, please!  Keep your distance if you are near other people.  Wash your hands.  If you feel sick, it is imperative to stay home and stay away from others.  Don't touch your face.  Cough into your elbow or sleeve.

Love and respect to all.

Heather




Sunday, March 22, 2020

We've survived the week.

Greetings all,

March 22 is here. Week one of the new time has passed.  Lots of things have happened in the course a few days.

When you see the social media postings thanking everyone still working, remember that there are people who are always forgotten in these lists.  Everyone working in Social Services Agencies, Unemployment Departments, Food Banks, Community Outreach Organizations, Charitable Organizations, Women's and family shelters and many other groups trying to help their communities through this trying time. 

Even with all that is happening, I'm still hoping to have plenty of time to spend on March 31. We'll see what we're permitted to do by the authorities.  I may not be permitted to take my two days off simply because the office is bracing for a huge influx paperwork.  Whether I take two days off this month or I postpone my time, I have every intention of getting out and being visible. 

For now, I have the time at home to be myself. At work, I'm always "under dressed."  I think I've not been to work braless in over two years. Some days, I'll wear nylons or my black tights, other days I wear knee-hi's and occasionally it's regular socks.  It's just what I do.  I always wear patterned, button-up shirts. I don't know if the bumps from the bra closures are visible or if the seams show when I'm wearing a racerback sport bra.  Honestly, I don't really care!

I know that many people are struggling with the social distancing, items in short supply, worried about paying bills or losing medical coverage.  If you are out of work, do these things: File for unemployment, file for your state's medicaid coverage, file for your state's SNAP program.  The worst thing that could happen is they won't approve it.  Even if you think you can manage by using your savings or the resources you have on hand, it may take a couple weeks for your first paycheck when the employers call you back.

One last bit of motherly advice.  Call your family and friends.  Catch up with an old friend.  Do a well check by phone, it may just brighten their day.

Love and respect

Heather.

ps. stay healthy, my friends.