Sunday, January 17, 2021

A day out.

 Hello friends,

Big day, today.

We (wife and I) went for a drive. It isn't always easy to get my spouse out of the house but it was mostly her idea.

We drove two towns to the north of ours, really in the middle of nowhere but on the main highway to the north about 75 miles away.

The big deal is that it was the first trip where we got out of the car and interacted with the public. We went to a tourist trap/candy store. It was the first time my spouse went shopping with Heather. I didn't look at people to judge their reactions but the place was fairly busy. The funniest part was when I was paying, my spouse got the pronouns mixed up and I didn't even care! I just had a fun time shopping with her.

After the shopping excursion, we went to an abandoned townsite and had lunch. I had prepared a couple sandwiches, bagged some oranges and bottled water, brought some patio chairs and a little table and we parked off a dirt road and enjoyed our little lunch. There is a National Park Service vault toilet, I used it. Possibly the most unoffensive vault toilet I've ever used. As I was standing over the seat, someone knocks and twists the handle... I quickly said, "Hey." and he closed the door. That would have been an uncomfortable situation, me in a skirt and nylons, standing to pee and a dude walks in...

We drove home and picked up a prescription for my wife at the drive-up pharmacy window. I didn't even take out my breast forms.


Thanks for stopping by..

Heather.


Saturday, December 12, 2020

Visibility. Life in the open?

Visibility. 

I'm still using Facebook. I know that there are plenty of people who say DELETE FACEBOOK! I have family members who use it, my 82 year old Mom can access my FB and see what her siblings and friends of our family are doing. I won't be deleting Facebook.  I will say that I’m not joining the new, upstart social media websites. Although I identify as a Democrat, I will not join the Democrat focused “Liker dot com” and you know for certain that I won’t join the Republican focused “parler dot com.” I already waste far too much time staring at computer screens between my job and time at home. 

I digress. I have Facebook. When I created my account, I never posted a profile photo of me. Instead, I posted a picture of my Suzuki motorcycle.  For ten years, the bike was my “me” photo.

Halloween 2020 comes. Heck, 2020 itself. The year has been... something else, am I right?  I decided that I loved my Halloween outfit and all that it meant to me. For the first time ever, I was going to change my profile photo. Red wig, bullet bra, pink skirt, Heather is me. I know that.

My friends here know me as Heather.

My wife loves me as Heather.

2/3 of my kids know I’m Heather.

Even my ex-wife is aware of Heather.

Visibility? Yes. 

It's fun. I feel great when I "like" or comment on stories in my FB timeline about LGBTQ issues, but especially transgender issues with my photo.  I hope that when a person questioning whether it's ok to live a genuine life, as their true self sees me commenting as my birthname in my feminine finery, they can feel a bit stronger, more confident and empowered.  

It’s fun? Yes. Especially when reading conservative media outlets Facebook postings. It brings great pleasure to comment as birthname with a photo of me, especially when someone gets so uptight that they feel the need to get rude. Rudeness brings out the “report comment” function for bullying, harassment or other inappropriate manner. Blocking works, too.

I wonder how much repression some people have experienced to think it’s okay to be completely filled with hate. 

I tried to set up a Heather Facebook page but the algorithms fought me and wouldn't let me fully activate my account and I refused to send the personal information requested.  I could change my account’s name to Heather instead of birthname, I don’t want to. 

Have a great weekend!

Much love, 

Heather

ps. No, I'm not living full time as Heather. I still have my own personal demons and fears to deal with. I have to live and work in this repressed town. 

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Good morning to everyone.

 Welcome to a new version of America, one which will reflect the diversity of our great nation. I'm pleased that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have won the most important election of our lifetimes but if anyone believes that I won't call them out if they act in an un-American manner, you're sorely mistaken. Nobody gets a pass. I may be anti-trump and anti-GOP but admittedly Joe wasn't my first choice. In the end, he was the only choice and one I was proud to make. I watched the speeches last night by both Kamala and Joe. I felt included. I felt like for the first time in four years, I matter. Again, if the Biden administration pulls any hinkey BS I will be among the first to call them out.

Earthquake in Massachusetts! Was it the Earth letting out a sigh of relief?

Alex Trebek died. Nooo! What is Rest in Peace, Alex?

Today is day ten of having pink nails. I decided to not remove the color. I went to work Monday, Tuesday and half of Wednesday when I reported for jury duty. I sat in wait for the grilling by the DA and defense attorneys and apparently passed muster. The trial is estimated to take three weeks. Three weeks away from my office. When I left on Wednesday we were about two days behind. I cannot imagine how bad it will be when I return. To add insult to injury, another worker from my office  was seated on the jury.

I had suggested that I should attend the jury selection in my pink skirt in hopes that it would get me out of it. Instead I only have the nearly invisible pink nails. I think the women in the jury room are curious but unsure of whether it's appropriate to ask about them. 

I'm hoping that I'll be able to enjoy this Sunday out of the house in a skirt and blouse but am unsure if my spouse will feel motivated to go along. The weather is cold and snow is reported in elevations above 5000 ft. This is concerning because I don't really want to drive in "weather." We'll see.

Time to sign off.

Thanks for spending time with me on a chilly Sunday morning.

Go out and spread some sunshine!

Heather.



Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Manicure

 Last Wednesday, I had my nails done. I've never had gel polish applied to my nails. When I paint my nails, I use regular nail polish and it never seems to last very long before it chips or is damaged.  I made the decision to not remove the polish. Yesterday was a work day, I proudly wore my pink nails to the office. I love the way my nails look, so smooth and shiny.

Heather

Saturday, October 31, 2020

I'm back, again.

 Hello friends,

I know I've been away for too long.

COVID seems to have killed the entirety of 2020. But...I have been prepping for this past week. I didn't want to post another series of promises which I fail to fulfill. This woman had a plan. This woman was going to get things done. This woman was going to succeed and I didn't want to over-promise only to under-deliver!


Among the things which have occurred in the past few weeks, I think I've revealed myself to my ex-wife.

My daughters know and support my choice and the ex was aware of things when we were married but after the split, I NEVER mentioned my trans ness again to her. Ever. Yeah, she saw the photos of my Halloween outfits but I never said anything more.  

Over the summer I was telling the Kids (they're adults but will always be my kids) that I needed to come up with a theme for Halloween. I had stated that a woman at work offered to play along if we would do a James Bond theme with me as the femme fatale.  Another option was the "I always wanted to be a bride" outfit. Youngest kid suggested a 50's theme with a poodle inspired skirt but since I volunteer with a group that offers spay/neuter services for cats and also TNR (Trap Neuter Return) services for feral or stray cats, a kitty skirt. We looked at ideas online, she found a Disney "Aristocats" inspired skirt and we all knew that the plan was in place.  

I let my Mom know what we'd settled on. (I know... never end a sentence on a preposition...) My Mom suggested a white top with a sweater.  We figured out the skirt's fabric color, pink. I have a bra that gives me the perfect "bullet" shape for my breasts. My wife found a pair of white leather Keds and lace ankle socks.  For the last few weeks, I'd drive to the city to offer help in making the skirt.  Youngest Kid had a yellow skirt that we'd use as a rough plan for mine. The two Kids are proficient seamstresses and have created many garments for themselves.  The yellow skirt was made to have a petticoat under.  When one spins while wearing that skirt, it looks amazing. So "foofy!"

For the second to last visit, I brought one of my favorite skirts. Youngest Kid realizes that my skirt "HAS POCKETS!" and uses it to create a pattern to add pockets to my future skirt.

It was on this visit that we did some shopping, picking up a white tee shirt and the cutest pink purse shaped like a Bustier.  After we returned from our shopping trip, ex was there with her beau. I was in semi girl mode, bra, large breast forms, white button up blouse over a floral top. Youngest loved the white blouse so I left it with her. I was in and out of my skirt, the yellow skirt, the blouse, the tee shirt and so on.  I also asked to have an appointment made to get my nails done.  When I left, I was in full girl mode, wearing my skirt and floral top.

Wednesday, 10/28, I returned to the city so we could finish the skirt and do some other prep work.  We got our nails done, Oldest chose black, Youngest took a metallic glitter red and I took a pastel pink to match my skirt. My nails have never looked so good! Usually I do my own nails and after doing home chores, the color is nicked and chipped. These gel colors are amazing, four days in and they still look fantastic!  We all ( Oldest, Youngest, Ex and I) worked on the skirt being the eleventh hour, literally. I think I left that house around midnight. 

I wore the new skirt to work, there wasn't a contest but the consensus I was the in best outfit. I had intended to do other things that day but my body decided it needed to have an allergy day.  After work, I took another round of allergy pills and plopped on the couch and slept through to 7:15 Friday morning. I got up drank a cup of water, took more allergy stuff and resumed my slumber until about 9:30 am.  I guess I was tired.

Friday morning I had an agenda! For Thursday, I had intended to work, cast my ballot in the 2020 general election and get my flu shot... cue Friday. Yes, I pulled up my big girl panties, bullet bra, poodle skirt and white top and went to the polling place. I don't think I got a second look until the polling place volunteer looked at my ID and didn't immediately put 2 +2 together.  Next, I went to the supermarket pharmacy to get my flu shot and bought a week's worth of food. On the way home, I stopped at the volunteer location and said hi to everyone. More rave reviews. At 5:30 I returned to the office, met my wife so I could bring her to the polling place so she could drop off her pre filled ballot.

So, today's Saturday.  We needed more stuff from the store and had to pay for a Costco pumpkin pie a friend picked up. I went back to the supermarket in full girl mode. It was glorious.  I picked up a burger and nuggets for our lunch and stopped off at the friend's home to repay her.  She said I looked divine! Her husband arrived a short time after I got there, D told B that someone stopped by and look who it is. B had absolutely no clue until I lowered my face mask. We're going to see friends tonight, what ever shall I wear? I'm leaving in 20 minutes. I don't know how comfortable I'll be...

ps

I had never gotten a professional manicure and color done before and I'll tell you one thing. I have newfound respect for the people working in nail salons.  The shop smelled like an auto paint facility.  I worked in a factory that closed because the company wished to do wood finishing work and couldn't get the permits to spray lacquers.  But how many nail shops are there in the city? 


Thanks for spending the time to read my story.


Have a great Halloween. If you haven't voted yet, please vote. 


Heather.

Monday, June 8, 2020

Voting and feet.


I've been wearing my sandals (the heel is a couple inches high, rubber soles) to the office for about three weeks. I had to wear them because a month ago I fell while helping someone move furniture onto a flat trailer.  We had placed something on the trailer and I was coming down the slatted ramp.  My foot slipped through the slats and every limb went in a different direction with me falling flat on my back.  I haven't a clue how I didn't break something but am thankful.  The result of my fall was initial swelling leading to a huge bump on my left shin. Also my left foot turned a spectacular color purple. But only along the inner sole and three of my toes.  I chose to wear sandals when we were called back to the office because slippers were not an option.  

Last week, my coworker noticed last week that they're women's sandals. I told her that they were the only footwear I could wear and are incredibly comfortable.  There was no way I could wear my male sandals or shoes.  She's the one who said that I should just wear women's clothing when I dress for Halloween.

I didn’t go to the doctor at the time I fell. Everything worked and really there was no pain.  Tenderness, yes. Pain, no.  After a month, I still have a sizable knot and what looks like a burn on my shin but all the bruising seems to be gone from my foot but there is still swelling.  I didn’t go initially because I’d discussed it with my wife.  She agreed that if it seemed like nothing was broken, they probably wouldn’t do anything but since I still have swelling, we made an appointment for tomorrow.

One more thing.  Where ever you live, please register to vote.  I fully support the #BlackLivesMatter movement.  It isn't that other lives are not important.   It isn't that other groups are not important.  It is that blacks are dying at the hands of police after a minor interaction.  I support candidates who don't promote racism.  I support candidates who don't hide from people who are different.  I support candidates who don't behave as a racist.  This is 2020.  There is no excuse for hatred in our modern world.  As a person who identifies as a trans-female, I stand with my brothers and sisters.  While I may not be able to live 24/7 as Heather, I am confident that there are people in government who are actively working to make the lives of people like me harder.  

I ask you to Vote Blue, No Matter Who.

Thank you

Heather

ps, Don't spam!



Saturday, May 30, 2020

Life and all that other stuff.

It's been a month. My son recovered from COVID-19 without issue. He's well.  It is frightening to see how devastating this virus is. 

I'm still working. For two weeks, we were forced to work from home as the office's internet provider's tower had a failure.  Although it's not impossible to do my job at home, it is far too awkward.  We had been advised that our office would be re-opening to the public on June first but Wednesday, word came down that the office was staying closed for an additional two weeks.  I'm not sure which is the best answer.  I'm glad that the heads of the division are putting caution at the forefront.

2020 will go down in the history books as a year filled with revelations.  We are seeing violence against people of color.  We are seeing violence against trans-women.  We are seeing threats of violence toward state leaders over the efforts to protect the citizens of their states.  Over one hundred thousand American lives have been lost as a result of inaction.  People are protesting lockdowns, complaining that they cannot get a haircut yet other people die because they have more pigment in their skin and have an interaction with law enforcement.

I ask one thing: Have some compassion.

Be safe out there and please don't spam.


Heather