I've been able realize the dream of wearing women's clothing for about a year and a half. On a daily basis, I will be "underdressed" by wearing some type of knickers bra and breastforms under my male office wear. On drives to the city, I have been pushing the envelope by wearing a blouse and the larger breasforms and sometimes have my nails painted. Almost every drive back from the city is made fully en-femme.
Here's the dilemma. I am struggling with a desire to be more like a woman on a daily basis. I constantly think about more permanent changes such as breast implants, hormones and possibly re-assignment surgery. When I am dressed as a woman, things about me just seem to be perfect. There are two things that stand in my way.
1.) The permanence of a sex change is scary and I know this is why counseling is recommended prior to making a permanent change. The thought of losing my most masculine traits holds both intrigue and fear. Sexually, I am not interested in fathering children but I cannot deny I'll miss the pleasure of climax. Admittedly, I 've never researched what kind of sensations a person experiences after having re-assignment surgery.
2.) Financial. There is just no extra money in my life to shell out thousands for something that is both elective and selfish. I have not looked into the health insurance plan's coverage for something like this but if it is anything like having three warts and two moles removed, I'll be paying for it out of pocket.
Wearing my breastforms, I feel complete. I feel right. The weight of them and the way they move when I move is perfection. Wearing a lightweight top, underwire bra filled with my breastforms and a favorite skirt gives me a confidence I've never felt as a male. Even if I stated that I'm apprehensive of re-assignment surgery, I'd get breast implants. It would be great to not have fake ones stuck to my chest in the heat of summer.
I don't wish to be alluring to others. I don't wish to be sexually attractive to others. I just want to be happy. I want to be me, however I wish to present myself to the world, let me be me.
Thanks for visiting.
Heather
Heather -
ReplyDeleteFirst, in GRS, they turn the outie into an innie. A false clitoris is constructed from the area of the penis which allows for orgasmic stimulation. Many TGs enjoy wonderful orgasms after GRS - it's all based on the quality of the surgery. One TG blogger who I'm linked to on Facebook had her operation performed in Montreal. The surgeon told her to explore her new parts about 8 weeks after surgery. When she did, she posted the following on her Facebook page:
WOW!!!!!
You can guess what she was doing. So if you really feel that you want an innie after appropriate counseling, then don't worry about orgasms. (I've yet to find out whether multiple orgasms are possible with the reconfigured equipment.)
Regarding financial issues - you'd have to check your employer's insurance plan for information. Until Trump took office, GRS was a mandated benefit in the ACA plans. However, Facial Feminization Surgery was not always included, nor were any procedures regarding voice or hair. Ont TG I know never bothered with speech therapy (as I currently go to), opting for vocal surgery. But who wants NOT to talk, and use an assistive device to talk for a month?
Whatever you choose to do, keep us informed.