Could you?

Hola~

Is it possible to just be? To not need to think out everything before doing it?

Could you do this?

Answering any of these with a "no" reply is okay if it fits your place in life. I can't expect anyone to do something that's beyond their safety zone. It took me 56 years to live and work as Heather on a daily basis and in public. I think many of us are a bit worried about the future of our civil rights. I have no interest in going back in the closet.

Early in the process of my current personal revolution, I would be getting ready to do whichever mundane public chore I'd given myself and I'd get myself worked up, anxious about the contradicting internal voices telling me why I should or should not go out in my chosen wardrobe. I can't say that these thoughts have fully left. Prepping for work reveals the strength Heather has over the rest of my existence. Showering and that part of the routine is rough. I just don't want to go to work. I'm old and cranky and the ridiculousness of modern life is a harsh opponent. Alas, Heather's got this. Once she realizes it's better than the lousy job we had before this the task of getting ready is easier. She remembers that she's working at a nothing job that pays well, a job that isn't physically or mentally challenging. On top of all this... Heather looks fabulous while working. Could you do this? 

Our world has made daily life pretty stressful. The pressures to not become a target, to maintain the confidence to move forward or earn a living can be overwhelming but becoming Heather on a daily basis is all that I need to motivate me. I have safety at work, so far. As long as I can remain employed there until I'm eligible for Medicare for me and my spouse, we should be okay.

Travel is coming.

Could you comfortably travel by plane in 2025 as a transgendered person? Would you feel safe going through a security checkpoint with an ID that doesn't conform with your presentation? In the past I've done it without any issue but there wasn't the level of hostility toward members of certain parts of the LGBTQ community that's reared its ugly head since January. I don't know what I'm going to do. In a few weeks I go to New England for a long weekend. I think this will be the trip where I tell my sister and her husband about Heather's full-time existence. On one of my previous trips, Dad met Heather but he doesn't usually remember things five minutes after he was told. My sister has seen Heather's Halloween photos but never in person. I think the time is right to be open with her. Flying from Vegas as Heather will be easy, I think. Connecticut still has LGBTQ safeguards, too. It shouldn't be an issue. But those darned "what if's" are always there. 

Will Heather be flying in August? Will my sister learn that after nearly 60 years she's got a younger sister?

I am almost certain I'll be flying as Heather and I feel the need to tell my sister about my reality. Coming out to everyone is one of my life goals for 2025. I'll share the results of these choices after my return.

The only awkward thing will be getting to the airport and her seeing me dressed without knowing first.  I still have to reconcile this. I can stop in a restroom before getting to baggage claim and do a quick change.

This composition has taken me about three days to build. Time to hit "publish" and think about the next installment.

Photo by Heather D. Waters, copyright 2022.

Have a good week.

Chat later,

Heather