Big step Friday. Another FIRST.*

 Hello everyone,

Tonight, I'm going to a support group meet up with my youngest kid. I've known about the place for years and have recommended them to attend. We wanted to go but never had it happen. Tomorrow night will be my first visit and the offspring's third visit. I took off from work a bit early so I can make the trek into the city. Apparently there are people ranging in age from about 16 to around my age. I'm excited to see how this works and of course I'll share the experience.

* Full disclosure,.. Yeah, back in the late nineties I went to a couple Tri ESS meetings.  One or two at a private home and one at a LGBTQIA bar. I don't remember much about them, I just remember being uncomfortable. The gurls were nice and friendly enough but I was way out of my element and out of place since I was probably at least 20 years younger than everyone else in attendance. Most of the gurls in attendance were probably my current age... nearly 30 years ago. I think the chapter head was Michelle.  Does Tri Ess still exist? I haven't looked for them in a bunch of years. Yes... triess.org still is there. Looking at the Tri Ess website and a basic internet search doesn't show a southern Nevada chapter. We always need community and sisterhood. Hopefully the world will remember that we're all people and stop treating us like monsters.

A coworker was talking about gender issues with me. You can tell she watches fox news, unfortunate as it is because she mentions the hot button topics that are usually in the news: Sports, Bathrooms, the advantage some transgender folks supposedly enjoy in society. I remind her that our population is a relatively small percentage of overall society and that we sometimes just need to pee but hostilities against our sisters both cisgender, transgender and non-binary have made it unsafe to use a toilet. I've also told her that we don't choose to endure the stress of feeling like we're in the wrong body. It would really be much easier if people could just exist without being judged.

Living in society is easy most of the time as Heather. The hardest part is getting past my own barriers and silencing the voices in my head that echo the things we were taught as kids. "Boys don't do that." "That's only for girls." "What will people say?" "What will they think?" "I've lived here my whole life, what will our neighbors say about us?" At 59.5 years old, I no longer care about any of those questions. I can tell you directly that my neighbor to the east will hate Heather because of the political sign that's still in front of his house nearly 8 months after an election. I'm here. I will not go back and cower in the closet. I will continue to live my live and I might have a TACO.

have a great Friday! 

Heather

Monday. March 31, 2025. Transgender Day of Visibility is here.

Hi,

First of all, why are you here reading this when it's Transgender Day of Visibility? Aren't y'all supposed to be out doing things to be visible?

Technically, it's 10:10 pm pacific time here so it's really TDOV eve... but you know what I mean.

Yesterday was nail day. I got a cat's eye look in a shimmery grey. I'll try to post a photo in the near future. Kids and I went to Ulta Cosmetics, Sprouts, Costco, WinCo supermarket, youngest collected auction items while oldest and I were at the nail salon and another supermarket and then we returned to their house. It was a great day. The nail salon was awesome, as always. The staff loves my kids and by association... me. It's like when I've gone to the cardiologist, welcoming me like an old friend.

Monday will bring 8 hours of work and then my spouse and I are off to dinner with the kids. I'm SO looking forward to this.

It's after ten and I'm working tomorrow. Time to get my dress ready! Did I mention that it's going to be windy in Southern Nevada tomorrow? Fun times!

Have a great day. Go out and be visible!

Heather

Happy October!

I'm back,

I'd like to share some of the good things that happen during my days at work. As I've said a few times, I've been out at work for nearly two years. These two years have been mostly great. I don't wear much jewelry, pretty much only earrings. But people frequently compliment choice of earrings. My kids and I went to Reno a couple of years ago and while we were there, my oldest bought be a pair of earrings with cats in coffee cups. People LOVE them! When I do my nails, they're shocked that a.) they're my own nails and b.) that I paint them myself. Personally, my skills are basic and I often get paint on the skin AND my nails but the result is generally decent. Yeah, there are people who are rude or crass but the majority are great. When at work, I'm not known as Heather. I use my given name. After interacting with customers they'll ask, "what's your name?" I reply with my given name without blinking and people smile and thank me and I always feel that my goal is to be a good trans ambassador in a ridiculously conservative rural Nevada town.  Mission accomplished! (If I get a good photo of Marilyn, I'll share it.)

Halloween is coming! For years, my kids and I have been trying to bring Marilyn Monroe to my life. This year it is happening! We have the iconic white dress, I have a blonde wig and I'll rock the look. My plan is to spend Friday at a salon getting some prep work done. The plan is for a stylist to wax and shape my brows and getting my first set of acrylic nails. A goal is to have permanent eyeliner and brow lines done too. The salon that I previously have used wasn't available so I've enlisted my eldest to schedule at the same nail salon that did my first manicure about 3 years ago. She said that they do waxing too.  We have an appointment set for next Friday after she gets out of work. I'm really looking forward to Halloween. 

I've had the experience of flying en femme. Because my sister and Dad are getting me from the airport these last two trips, I chose to fly in "mixed" mode. I'd worn a bra with medium size breast forms, camisole under a clingy tee shirt, woman's jeans and Skechers. Going through security in Vegas, I didn't separate my electronics in my carry-on adequately, so I had a secondary inspection of my chargers, phone battery bank, Roku player and other items but not my backup set of breast forms. Leaving Bradley Airport for my return flight, I had my carry-on inspected because of my breast forms. Neither place had an issue with the breast forms I was WEARING! No worries.

I've really come to terms with who I am. I almost always wear a bra and breast forms, like 24/7.  Even when I go out in male mode, I have a bra and breast forms on. I used to wear a sports bra under a tee shirt to not have the clips and adjusters visible. There are only a few times where I worry about bra type now, some doctor visits or visiting certain friends where I'll just wear the sports bra and amaller forms. Most times, I don't even think about it. I make sure it's visible and have an ample bosom. Life is good! 

A point worth restating is my belief that a majority of people don't even notice who we are. It reminds me of the episode of the TV series M*A*S*H where Hawkeye bets that he could walk through the entire camp naked and almost gets away with it until he's in the mess hall, someone notices and drops a cafeteria plate and everyone notices his state of undress. I've done most regular activities in girl mode for over two years and find that nobody treats me poorly. 

Last week was my birthday.  I took the day off from work so I could go to the Las Vegas Pride Parade with my kids on Friday evening. At 6:30 the night before, my phone rings and it's my GP doctor's office about test results from a cardiologist I'd visited... BACK IN MAY. I was due to have a surgery performed on my nose to clear the nasal passages and resolve a deviated septum. It is long past the original surgery date because of the slow cardiologist. I learned that I needed new bloodwork and another chest X-ray to get back on track. I was already set to drive to Vegas on Friday and we scheduled a radiology visit and I'd go while wearing what I would wear to watch the parade; a slinky tan animal print tank dress. As stated above, the experience was great. Everyone was fine. I used my given name, as that's my name... I think the guy sitting near me was checking me out even and muttered something about my legs. We scheduled this Thursday morning for my blood test which I did before work. I considered just wearing my woman's jeans, no wig and a male tee shirt but I worried getting to work on time and then having to return home, eat and change my wardrobe/gender presentation. I decided to dress for work. I chose a low-cut floral blouse and jeans and did my thing, signed in waited for the phlebotomist in the lobby. She came out, called my given name and didn't bat an eye. Nobody in the lobby even seemed to react. We talked while she did the draw. She asked where I worked but said nothing about given name versus Heather. Again, life is good! The Ear, Nose and Throat doctor who will be performing the surgery has already encountered my as Heather. She's a bit "no-nonsense" in her approach but she never said anything bad.

I'm sure that I have other things to share since I posted those few months back but my brain is getting too easily distracted to put more words to the screen.

I'm doing okay, all is well and remember this:

Life.

Is.

Good!

I hope y'all are doing okay too,

Thanks for reading this. 

Heather