I repeated the January 7 incident with another person!

I don't remember exactly when this second thing happened but it was a great interaction.

I was stationed at the front desk of our office and two people came in... Clearly a Mom and their offspring... The younger person looked a bit uncomfortable. Mom did most of the talking. I asked my usual questions to determine why they were there that day. After a few minutes the younger person asked if I was trans. It isn't often that someone comes out and asks me and I generally won't/don't reply but since the young person was in a place I understood, I acknowledged her question and replied yes! I checked them in and they stayed at the window chatting with me for a few minutes. Mom asked if I knew any support groups in town and my immediate response was no... I mentioned a couple of places that probably would be able to help the young woman navigate our conservative town. After a few minutes, someone came in and they took a seat, waiting for assistance. I thought about the support group question... remembering that there is an all inclusive LGBTQIA group. I had to share the information and went to where they were sitting and said to look up the person and I'd met them a few years back, seems nice.

They get called. A short time later I take my break and they're close to the conference room. I stop and chat (it's probably completely inappropriate for me to talk about such issues at work) but Mom asked how long I have been out at work, how accepted I am by the public and if I feel safe. I told her my opinion, "most people are decent but there are people who know nothing more than how to be jerks." I also said that it's important to be yourself even when it's hard to do it.

I genuinely think that I had a very positive impact on their day. I still feel that being a good role model is key. I think I represent transgender folks in a very positive manner. Some days I have many interactions with the public and multiple days in a row... Some people are pretty awesome, just like the people you'd want to know are your neighbors. 

Two posts in one day! What's up with that??

This story popped into my mind and I didn't want to let it fade away.

Remember to be visible! Make your plans, Transgender Day of Visibility is a week away!

Thanks for spending the time to read this.

Heather

Visibility. Life in the open?

Visibility. 

I'm still using Facebook. I know that there are plenty of people who say DELETE FACEBOOK! I have family members who use it, my 82 year old Mom can access my FB and see what her siblings and friends of our family are doing. I won't be deleting Facebook.  I will say that I’m not joining the new, upstart social media websites. Although I identify as a Democrat, I will not join the Democrat focused “Liker dot com” and you know for certain that I won’t join the Republican focused “parler dot com.” I already waste far too much time staring at computer screens between my job and time at home. 

I digress. I have Facebook. When I created my account, I never posted a profile photo of me. Instead, I posted a picture of my Suzuki motorcycle.  For ten years, the bike was my “me” photo.

Halloween 2020 comes. Heck, 2020 itself. The year has been... something else, am I right?  I decided that I loved my Halloween outfit and all that it meant to me. For the first time ever, I was going to change my profile photo. Red wig, bullet bra, pink skirt, Heather is me. I know that.

My friends here know me as Heather.

My wife loves me as Heather.

2/3 of my kids know I’m Heather.

Even my ex-wife is aware of Heather.

Visibility? Yes. 

It's fun. I feel great when I "like" or comment on stories in my FB timeline about LGBTQ issues, but especially transgender issues with my photo.  I hope that when a person questioning whether it's ok to live a genuine life, as their true self sees me commenting as my birthname in my feminine finery, they can feel a bit stronger, more confident and empowered.  

It’s fun? Yes. Especially when reading conservative media outlets Facebook postings. It brings great pleasure to comment as birthname with a photo of me, especially when someone gets so uptight that they feel the need to get rude. Rudeness brings out the “report comment” function for bullying, harassment or other inappropriate manner. Blocking works, too.

I wonder how much repression some people have experienced to think it’s okay to be completely filled with hate. 

I tried to set up a Heather Facebook page but the algorithms fought me and wouldn't let me fully activate my account and I refused to send the personal information requested.  I could change my account’s name to Heather instead of birthname, I don’t want to. 

Have a great weekend!

Much love, 

Heather

ps. No, I'm not living full time as Heather. I still have my own personal demons and fears to deal with. I have to live and work in this repressed town.