Saturday, December 12, 2020

Visibility. Life in the open?


I'm still using Facebook. I know that there are plenty of people who say DELETE FACEBOOK! I have family members who use it, my 82 year old Mom can access my FB and see what her siblings and friends of our family are doing. I won't be deleting Facebook.  I will say that I’m not joining the new, upstart social media websites. Although I identify as a Democrat, I will not join the Democrat focused “Liker dot com” and you know for certain that I won’t join the Republican focused “parler dot com.” I already waste far too much time staring at computer screens between my job and time at home. 

I digress. I have Facebook. When I created my account, I never posted a profile photo of me. Instead, I posted a picture of my Suzuki motorcycle.  For ten years, the bike was my “me” photo.

Halloween 2020 comes. Heck, 2020 itself. The year has been... something else, am I right?  I decided that I loved my Halloween outfit and all that it meant to me. For the first time ever, I was going to change my profile photo. Red wig, bullet bra, pink skirt, Heather is me. I know that.

My friends here know me as Heather.

My wife loves me as Heather.

2/3 of my kids know I’m Heather.

Even my ex-wife is aware of Heather.

Visibility? Yes. 

It's fun. I feel great when I "like" or comment on stories in my FB timeline about LGBTQ issues, but especially transgender issues with my photo.  I hope that when a person questioning whether it's ok to live a genuine life, as their true self sees me commenting as my birthname in my feminine finery, they can feel a bit stronger, more confident and empowered.  

It’s fun? Yes. Especially when reading conservative media outlets Facebook postings. It brings great pleasure to comment as birthname with a photo of me, especially when someone gets so uptight that they feel the need to get rude. Rudeness brings out the “report comment” function for bullying, harassment or other inappropriate manner. Blocking works, too.

I wonder how much repression some people have experienced to think it’s okay to be completely filled with hate. 

I tried to set up a Heather Facebook page but the algorithms fought me and wouldn't let me fully activate my account and I refused to send the personal information requested.  I could change my account’s name to Heather instead of birthname, I don’t want to. 

Have a great weekend!

Much love, 


ps. No, I'm not living full time as Heather. I still have my own personal demons and fears to deal with. I have to live and work in this repressed town. 

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