No "Shoulds" permitted!  In our home, we've come to learn that doing what another person says we "should" be doing is usually harmful to our own self.   Some of these are not so bad but when we have to give up a part of ones self to comply, then these expectations are unacceptable.  I am proud of me and I've worked hard doing what someone else expected me to do and I usually felt like I've given up a part of my being afterwards.  I try to live by my rules as much as possible.