Saturday and the persistent thoughts.

Hi again,
I've been deep in thought about what I'm going to do.  My very supportive spouse is asleep and I'm here in the living room.  I just want to spend my every moment in girl-mode but I am meeting new people today or tomorrow and I don't know if I'm ready to do that as a woman.  I'll surely be underdressed, wear my diamond stud earrings and may put on nail varnish.

Spouse and I talked last night about my circumstances.  I asked myself out loud why I just don't go to the city dressed?  It would be a great experience for me.  She suggested that I need to find people who share my interests but I'm not really social like that.  I have few real friends and living in this town that pretends to have moral and conservative values presents a challenge.  The few people at work are not really friend material (I'm the only male in an office of twenty-six).  This work environment presents a challenge of it's own.  I see the clothes that the women wear and wonder how I'd look in that skirt or dress and oh! how I'd love to wear those boots!  The policy of my employer is to not discriminate based on gender expression but we all know how people will talk behind someone's back when a person is "different."  For women, all the "don't be a distraction" type rules are in effect such as no spaghetti straps, nothing too revealing and so-on.  Men get to choose slacks and a collared shirt while women can wear a dress, blouse and skirt, pant suit or slacks and top. 

So what's a person to do?  Do I continue to be Heather when I'm home and while driving home from the city or do I just say "what the hell" and make the step by becoming Heather 24/7 knowing full well that the co-workers are going to snicker behind my back?  I'd love to go to the market dressed in my pretty skirt but spouse is worried about violence directed at me when I'm in public.  Knowing the hooligans in this town, it could be an issue but I also know that there are a few individuals like me in town.  I'm not really a fighter but if the need to defend myself arose, I'd certainly fight back. 

'til next time.

Heather