Saturday. Beware the Ides of March...

Hey, well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Well, if you want to be a movie star
I got the ticket to Hollywood
But if you want to stay just like you are
You know I think you really should

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you
Oh, you know I do

Well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, babe
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, I got to have ya
Great God in heaven you know I love you

And I'm your vehicle, babe
Alright

You know I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Song by "The Ides of March." All credit to the songwriter, Jim Peterik

The Wikipedia page on this song is pretty interesting.

Vehicle (song) - Wikipedia

A bit of artistic liberty was taken when the lyrics were transcribed to my blog.

I remember liking this song from the first time hearing it (and paying attention to the tune and lyrics) as a young teen. The driving beat, brass and lyrics stuck with me. Forty something years later, I still enjoy hearing "Vehicle."

It's interesting how music stirs something deep inside us. It's almost like music and the arts are an essential part of the foundation of human existence. 

Looking at current events, one can only wonder how people can cut funding to the arts because of "woke" attitudes infesting are institutions. Do the people furthering these ideas not understand that the arts have been performed by "diverse people" for hundreds, nay thousands of years? Can you just imagine how their minds would be blown when they learn that in the 1500's, actual men wore "female" clothing and acted in "female" parts on the Shakespearean stage? I know! It's an outrage. Dang ol' woke people with their new ideas trying to destroy all that is well and good about "Merica."

ps. (if you didn't know) I'm a person who was born into a body that I never felt comfortable with and live as my daily life as a woman even though the interior shell differs from the exterior presentation.

Part of why I posted about "The Ides of March" is that a couple of weeks ago someone posted photos of a banner at a political conference showing trump as Julius Caesar and promoting "The Third Term Project." We all know how March 15 worked out for Julius...

We all have to remember that nobody can define who we are. We know what's best for us. I'm an open-minded person and when presented with valid and factual information, I'm willing to change my thinking.

March 31, 2025 is a Monday. It's also Transgender Day of Visibility and I want to invite each of you to participate in being publicly visible. I will be at work. I don't know if I'm going to be doing any extracurricular activities outside of work. I'd like to believe that we'll do something special like dinner.

Another crazy thing I'd learned this week... A teacher was reprimanded over posters in their classroom. The propaganda on the posters,

"Everyone is welcome here"

and

"in this room, everyone is:

welcome

important

accepted

respected

encouraged

valued

equal"

Updated: A West Ada teacher was asked to remove signs promoting inclusivity. Controversy ensued. 

Regarding visibility, we do have a dental appointment on April 2 and I'm genuinely not sure how I'll present myself. The dentist is not exactly tolerant. My therapist asked why we go to a dentist who I called a "dick?" The simple answer is that when my spouse discovered him, they got along really well and she was comfortable. We didn't know what he'd become until a few years ago when his colors were revealed. I've thought about really putting him off and going in full regalia. I won't be able to change my nails since I had them done at a salon and long dippy colorful nails are going to be obvious. We'll see what happens. Of course, I'll blog about it.

I'll be back with more insights.

Have a great weekend.

Stay visible!

Heather

Another Sunday. Where will my day bring me?

Good morning to my friends.

What's in store for me? I'll be driving to the "big city."

I'll have to suffer through a visit to that evil bastion of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, Costco. I'll see if the kids want to go along and maybe I'll go to Kohl's and Savers too. 

My Costco membership card has a photo that's easily 20+ years old, me with ample facial hair in the early 2000's. I don't look like that in 2025 To enter Costco, you no longer "just flash your card to get in the store," your card is scanned upon entry and the person at the door compares the photo with the actual person. I've been challenged a few times with, "is HE here with you today?" To which I reply, "yes I am!" leading to apologies from them and both of us chuckling about it. I've really decided that if there's no ill intent, it doesn't bother me. The employee is simply doing their job, making sure that nonmembers aren't using the card of members.

I'm addressed by my other name at work. My co-workers will ask for help or guidance and call me using my other name. If I have a good interaction with customers, they'll often ask my name. I give my birth name. It's what's on my work ID and on my paycheck. I feel more powerful afterward. It forces THEM to understand that we exist and to understand that the garbage they're hearing on the biased media channels is not accurate.

The attacks against transgender people from the Oval Office have only strengthened my desire to move forward in life.

I. AM. NOT. GOING. AWAY. 

I hope you will also continue to live authentically. We must remain visible and present in the world.

Heather.

ps. Remember that Transgender Day of Visibility is coming up in three weeks. It's a Monday, you know that I'll be a publicly visible transgender person who is gainfully employed.

March 31. Monday, 3/31/25 TDoV. Transgender Day of Visibility. You have three weeks to get out!

"Transgendered people"

Look, we all know that there's an effort to cancel us. Don't let that happen! Get out and do something in OUR world. 

You have every right to exist. You are valid. You matter. YOU need to be seen.

I have managed to be out since November 2023. If I can exist publicly in conservative rural America, maybe you can too!

The world IS ours. Don't let hate win. It isn't always easy but every day I'm out validates my existence. 

I have to put up with intolerant crap far too often. You probably do too.

Thursday, a guy came into my office and was upset with democrats over current policies. He was unhinged on a whole new level. The woman behind him must have recognized his insanity by the look on her face (and then she apologized to me for having to deal with the public).

A crazy lady came to my work yesterday, she had all the hallmarks of bigotry. I absolutely p!ssed her off when I didn't play along with her BS comments about current events. Of course, if I comment about political topics it could be reason for termination. 

The most important things I am trying to remember for my own life are, "Be true to yourself. Don't hide. Living doesn't mean to be cowering. We must not allow ourselves to be abused or stepped on or canceled. We exist and nobody can erase us. 

Thanks for reading this,

Heather.

Exist. Do it. You are the only person that gets to decide your life.

 Hi, 

I haven't been around much. I'm still existing. Heather goes to work every day. 

It's important to acknowledge our existence. You matter. I matter. You're worthy.

Things have been mostly okay. I'm alive. 

I have never shared this publicly:

I had a medical procedure in February. It wasn't great. I guess I flatlined on the table. One third of the procedure was completed before they revived me without incident by removing the anesthetic and giving me staight oxygen. 

Jeez, I can't even think straight and they gave me straight oxygen... 

I have no negative effect from the surgery and am hoping to get the rest of the work done. I have sinus inflammation and a deviated septum. The partial surgery has improved my breathing.

As a result of the incident, my ENT has referred me to another cardiologist. (I had been to a different one a year ago but he was not helpful. It took many months to get the results of my testing.) I've been going to the ENT as Heather and this new cardiologist has only seen Heather. 

The best thing about this doctor's staff is that on my second visit, I was greeted as an old friend.

Whether you are out or not, you need to remember to live. 

One weak man's negative opinion doesn't mean anything to me. He can try to cancel us but he'll fail.

Thanks for reading this.

I'm okay. I genuinely hope you're okay too.

Heather.

January Seven, Two thousand twenty-five! I made someone's day brighter.

Hi friends,

I'm here. I'm managing as well as possible and hope y'all are coping as well as possible.

I encountered a nice person today. They were in my office. I checked them in. 

I had them enter their personal information into our computer and realized their "dead name" is the same as mine! I asked them their name and they said, "X" but I prefer "A."

I replied, " 'X?' Hey, that was my name too!"

I checked them in and our system recognized them as "X."

I thought for a second... I told my coworker, "I'll be right back." I go to the lobby.. and ask 'A' "you said you prefer 'A,' right? I tell her, I can't promise it'll work but I'll put that you prefer 'A' and hopefully it will work but listen for either name..."

I run back to my computer... hit the edit button for their info... hoping that someone hadn't claimed their task... and updated their profile...

A few minutes later, Julie comes to call her next customer, opens the door and calls "A." 

My direct co-worker said that "A" smiled.

I got shivers! I felt that I had genuinely done my good deed for the day!

I hope this little interaction brings a bit of happiness to your day.

Heather.

Hi. I'm here, I guess?

Good Saturday to everyone,

There are so many things to unpack since I last wrote in this space.

I'm not going to dive "in depth" regarding the elephant in the space. To quote my youngest kid, we'll make it through this.

On November 5th, I had the preliminary visit for a planned surgery on my deviated septum. It was supposed to happen on 11/13/24. This is a surgery I was supposed to have done in May but I had a bad result from an EKG leading to a visit to a cardiologist and a stress test. The cardiologist took five months to get the results back to my doctors so I could be released for surgery. The results finally arrive, my GP clears me, the ENT contacts me to get an updated chest xray and bloodwork and schedules me. So, 11/5 I go to the ENT who is now concerned that my EKG is outdated since it was read back in May... The ENT is the first medical practitioner I had visited in any form of female presentation. I had gone for my bloodwork before heading to work, in a blouse and jeans. For the xray, I wore a tank dress. It was also the day I'd gotten my flu and COVID shots through my employer's sponsored shot clinic.

I had never visited my GP while presenting as Heather. In fact I still have my acrylic nails from that were done on October 25! But, Doctor ENT needed the EKG asap! Her office is about 20 minutes from my GP and both are about 70 miles, each way from my home. I'm trying to figure out how to mentally deal with this turn of events. Doctor GP isn't exactly openminded, I have heard her comment on some social issues in the past and believed it may be better to remain in the closet with her. There was no hiding my red hair, the bright red acrylic nails on my fingers or lovely v cut blouse I was wearing.

So, I get there... The nurse sees me and my wife. Looks at me and... asks why I look as I do. I hadn't thought of a story. On the spot, I say that it's a continuation of Halloween? The GP and her staff are all immigrants from Asia. I don't know how long they've been here in the US. The nurse seems more openminded and wasn't really listening when I said that he never sees me in everyday mode but today it was exactly that. I wait my standard forever until he calls me into the exam room.  I disrobe, removing everything but my jeans and red wig. He takes my EKG and it is okay, takes a second run to be sure. Okay again. I get off the exam table and he says he needs to take my vitals: Blood Pressure, Pulse ox... Remember, this is about 3:00 pm on 11/5/24! My blood pressure is ridiculous. (Gee, I wonder what happened on that day?)  190 over 120. OMG. WTF. Have I had any symptoms? No. Any headaches? No. No signs at all. The Doc comes in and asks the same questions. We agree to monitor my vitals at home. If, within a couple of days things change then I can proceed with surgery. I get myself put back together; the Doc wants to see how I look. She said I looked natural. Well, thank god for small wins? Doctor ENT had never seen me with my red wig. Usually, I just wore my pink ball cap and a blouse with jeans, leggings or a skort. She said that she really loved the color of my hair. It really worked for me. I take that as a huge win!

I have a follow-up scheduled for this coming Thursday with Doctor GP. I really don't want to un-do my nails but don't know if I want to come to terms with her knowing the full story.

Here I am, again waiting to be able to breathe freely for the first time.

My Mom would be happy that I'm trying to take care of myself but I think she'd be upset that it's taking so long to get everything settled. She was a tough person who pushed through adversity and pain so I try to do the same.

I'll do my best to remain vocal in this space. If I go to Doctor GP presenting as Heather, I'll let you know how it goes.  

Heather

November 2024. Hope for the future? Or is it a fever dream?

Hi!

Disclaimer, if you don't want to read strong political opinion... click away now! It's a deep departure from my regular blog posts. Screenshots, quotes, weblinks... this blog post has it all!

For the first time in many elections, I didn't "vote in person." The leaders of my county took the advice of the majority of my neighbors by pursuing only "secure" paper ballots this year. I dropped my completed ballot into the secure box at the polling place and I'm glad that I did. Looking at the polling place, I didn't see any privacy screens, just a big empty room with a Disney park series of switchbacks leading and a long table with chairs. My wife and I went Wednesday after work. I was still in my blouse and jeans from work. When we dropped our ballots into the secure box, the woman wished us a blessed day. Um... thanks?

For the first time since I moved to this weird town, I have seen more political signs for the Democratic candidate than for the convicted felon who also has a judgement against him for rape. I see more signs for the Democrat running for US Senate than her anti-choice GOP challenger. Heck, there's even a Nevada Assembly candidate who is a Democrat! It'll be a cold day in He11 when we see Democrats running for Nye County or local races, though. Quoting Blazing Saddles here, 

• "Jim: [consoling Bart, who is upset that his attempts to be cordial with the citizens of Rock Ridge led to him being racially insulted] What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."

 

Blazing Saddles (1974) - Quotes - IMDb  

No offense meant to the minority of intelligent folks here. But...my town has made the list!

"Why does 24/7 Wall St. say Pahrump is the worst city in Nevada?

The factors included how many residents experience poverty, lack of access to affordable housing and rates of substance abuse disorders and crime. 24/7 Wall St., which authored the article, pulled data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the FBI, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."

https://www.rgj.com/story/news/data/2024/11/01/what-makes-this-city-the-worst-place-to-live-in-nevada-find-out-here/75987434007/  

Crime here, nah! Only the best people live here!  

https://pvtimes.com/news/four-suspects-face-drug-gun-child-abuse-charges-137170/ 

https://pvtimes.com/news/pahrump-man-suspected-of-attempted-murder-located-in-mtn-falls-137138/

But... I'll bet that most of these folks are stereotypes. Two of the surnames in the drug story are influential "families" in this town. Whether they are related to THE families, I don't know. And I'll bet I dollars to doughnuts that the families don't support candidate Kamala Harris.

I've actually lived in TWO of the listed "worst places!"

My town's local TV station is owned by a trump fanatic.  Here's the Facebook page of the station.

https://www.facebook.com/KPVM25 

This is what was posted four days ago. 

I'd be very concerned if I were associated with this PAC giving money to ensure political support. I wouldn't cash that gigantic fake check or the normal sized one that she probably will get in the mail. My wife received an unsolicited check for $47 from that PAC earlier this week. I hope that the Federal Election Commission does a thorough investigation into this issue and I also hope that the current administration looks into the immigrant behind the financial campaign's potential immigration problems and foreign operative status.

The station owner has the comments off for most of the political videos they post on their Youtube channel.  You know that they cannot handle criticism or others calling them out for misinformation. 

KPVM 25 TV - YouTube 

It's hard to be a blue dot in a red town. It's hard to exist publicly when you know that your neighbors openly mock everyone who is different or thinks independently.  

People ask why I stay here. I have been here for 12 years. My cost of living relatively low. My taxes are low. It's just that the culture here is SO screwed up. Foolishness breeds foolishness. Forty-thousand people living here and it's not even an incorporated place. There's no town government, just a Republican led County Commission. The citizens dissolved the town board before I moved here.

Because.... I don't know why.

Okay, you've lived through my incessant rant about life in Pahrump, NV. 

Yes, there are some good things about being here. We don't have much traffic. Smog isn't an issue. Cost of living is relatively low. Gas is cheaper than Vegas. We have a dark sky at night and the stars can be magnificent, well they were until all my neighbors all decided to put spotlights around their houses ruining my dark sky. We occasionally see wild horses and burros in town. The weather is mostly tolerable and it rarely snows. 

Have a good weekend. I hope our nation does the right thing and we have our first woman of color elected to our nation's highest office.

Thanks for sticking around.

Heather.

https://kamalaharris.com/