I repeated the January 7 incident with another person!

I don't remember exactly when this second thing happened but it was a great interaction.

I was stationed at the front desk of our office and two people came in... Clearly a Mom and their offspring... The younger person looked a bit uncomfortable. Mom did most of the talking. I asked my usual questions to determine why they were there that day. After a few minutes the younger person asked if I was trans. It isn't often that someone comes out and asks me and I generally won't/don't reply but since the young person was in a place I understood, I acknowledged her question and replied yes! I checked them in and they stayed at the window chatting with me for a few minutes. Mom asked if I knew any support groups in town and my immediate response was no... I mentioned a couple of places that probably would be able to help the young woman navigate our conservative town. After a few minutes, someone came in and they took a seat, waiting for assistance. I thought about the support group question... remembering that there is an all inclusive LGBTQIA group. I had to share the information and went to where they were sitting and said to look up the person and I'd met them a few years back, seems nice.

They get called. A short time later I take my break and they're close to the conference room. I stop and chat (it's probably completely inappropriate for me to talk about such issues at work) but Mom asked how long I have been out at work, how accepted I am by the public and if I feel safe. I told her my opinion, "most people are decent but there are people who know nothing more than how to be jerks." I also said that it's important to be yourself even when it's hard to do it.

I genuinely think that I had a very positive impact on their day. I still feel that being a good role model is key. I think I represent transgender folks in a very positive manner. Some days I have many interactions with the public and multiple days in a row... Some people are pretty awesome, just like the people you'd want to know are your neighbors. 

Two posts in one day! What's up with that??

This story popped into my mind and I didn't want to let it fade away.

Remember to be visible! Make your plans, Transgender Day of Visibility is a week away!

Thanks for spending the time to read this.

Heather

3/23/25 one week away from TDOV. Stand up to tyranny!

 Howdy!

We're a week away from Transgender Day Of Visibility. I've heard of places promoting TDOV on Saturday, March 29, 2025. 

https://www.middletownct.gov/1451/Transgender-Day-of-Visibility-2025 

I'm working next Monday. I'll be visible to the public and am hoping to wear a favorite dress. After work, I'm hoping we'll get dinner out with my kids. It'll be worth the ridiculous drive.

If you're in a place where it's safe to do, go out and be visible. I have steeled my resolve to not let the haters win! I've continued going about my business wearing what I choose. Friday morning I had the pleasure of getting a cardiac stress test. This happened at the same office that previously had welcomed me as an old friend on my second visit. I wore the same clothes I've worn to work numerous times, sports bra, panties, black under shirt, jeans and lovely blouse. The people were terrific. I've never told them to call me anything other than my birth name but present fully as Heather at every visit. On Friday's visit, I did something that's totally out of my normal: I engaged people... including total strangers. Part of the stress test included injecting a radioactive element into my bloodstream so they can track heart function before and after exercise. After the injection, my spouse texted me that she had to stay outside since I was "radioactive." Of course it led me to find the rock song from the '80's "Radioactive" by The Firm. I played it on my phone while waiting... A member of the staff walks by the waiting room and says to the technician who'd injected me, "I feel heat" and I quipped that it was me since "I'm radioactive." She laughed. We started talking about the song and I showed her that I was just watching the video... She loves that song...  Another patient comes into the waiting room... The staff lady had a strong NYC accent and I told her that we're from the same region. Me Mass and her Long Island and find out the new arrival to the waiting room was from Indiana. We chatted about liking the desert over cold weather... It felt good.

Yesterday, my spouse and I were going through our rarely worn clothes pile and I found a bunch of garments I'd forgotten about. One was a lavender "body-con" dress with high/low hem. I'm wearing it right now! Someone, who is married to me, is uncomfortable with how short the front is but I love it. The low hem at the back is almost too long in my opinion, almost maxi-dress length. I feel as though I'm either dragging it or will step on it even with my 2.5" heels on. But it looks terrific on me.

With the rarely worn clothing, we're going to sort the stuff out for selling online, selling locally, donation and tossing out. I have a pretty good collection of clothes that I'd bought prior to "coming out" and thought I'd never have a chance to wear outside the house. Time passes and we forget that those things exist... It makes me wonder what else I've bought and forgot!

I'm a transgender person. I have told many people that I cannot put this part of me back into a box. I will stand beside my transgender sisters and brother and any/all nonbinary people or those on the LGBTQIA spectrum against the current government leaders trying to erase all mention of us. I don't care what they do because I'm here and they can pound sand! Enough people support our cause.

Have a good week.

• Be safe out there but BE OUT THERE!
• We are valid.
• We are a part of society. 
• We MATTER. 

Thanks for visiting

Heather.

Saturday. Beware the Ides of March...

Hey, well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Well, if you want to be a movie star
I got the ticket to Hollywood
But if you want to stay just like you are
You know I think you really should

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you
Oh, you know I do

Well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, babe
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, I got to have ya
Great God in heaven you know I love you

And I'm your vehicle, babe
Alright

You know I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Song by "The Ides of March." All credit to the songwriter, Jim Peterik

The Wikipedia page on this song is pretty interesting.

Vehicle (song) - Wikipedia

A bit of artistic liberty was taken when the lyrics were transcribed to my blog.

I remember liking this song from the first time hearing it (and paying attention to the tune and lyrics) as a young teen. The driving beat, brass and lyrics stuck with me. Forty something years later, I still enjoy hearing "Vehicle."

It's interesting how music stirs something deep inside us. It's almost like music and the arts are an essential part of the foundation of human existence. 

Looking at current events, one can only wonder how people can cut funding to the arts because of "woke" attitudes infesting are institutions. Do the people furthering these ideas not understand that the arts have been performed by "diverse people" for hundreds, nay thousands of years? Can you just imagine how their minds would be blown when they learn that in the 1500's, actual men wore "female" clothing and acted in "female" parts on the Shakespearean stage? I know! It's an outrage. Dang ol' woke people with their new ideas trying to destroy all that is well and good about "Merica."

ps. (if you didn't know) I'm a person who was born into a body that I never felt comfortable with and live as my daily life as a woman even though the interior shell differs from the exterior presentation.

Part of why I posted about "The Ides of March" is that a couple of weeks ago someone posted photos of a banner at a political conference showing trump as Julius Caesar and promoting "The Third Term Project." We all know how March 15 worked out for Julius...

We all have to remember that nobody can define who we are. We know what's best for us. I'm an open-minded person and when presented with valid and factual information, I'm willing to change my thinking.

March 31, 2025 is a Monday. It's also Transgender Day of Visibility and I want to invite each of you to participate in being publicly visible. I will be at work. I don't know if I'm going to be doing any extracurricular activities outside of work. I'd like to believe that we'll do something special like dinner.

Another crazy thing I'd learned this week... A teacher was reprimanded over posters in their classroom. The propaganda on the posters,

"Everyone is welcome here"

and

"in this room, everyone is:

welcome

important

accepted

respected

encouraged

valued

equal"

Updated: A West Ada teacher was asked to remove signs promoting inclusivity. Controversy ensued. 

Regarding visibility, we do have a dental appointment on April 2 and I'm genuinely not sure how I'll present myself. The dentist is not exactly tolerant. My therapist asked why we go to a dentist who I called a "dick?" The simple answer is that when my spouse discovered him, they got along really well and she was comfortable. We didn't know what he'd become until a few years ago when his colors were revealed. I've thought about really putting him off and going in full regalia. I won't be able to change my nails since I had them done at a salon and long dippy colorful nails are going to be obvious. We'll see what happens. Of course, I'll blog about it.

I'll be back with more insights.

Have a great weekend.

Stay visible!

Heather

Another Sunday. Where will my day bring me?

Good morning to my friends.

What's in store for me? I'll be driving to the "big city."

I'll have to suffer through a visit to that evil bastion of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, Costco. I'll see if the kids want to go along and maybe I'll go to Kohl's and Savers too. 

My Costco membership card has a photo that's easily 20+ years old, me with ample facial hair in the early 2000's. I don't look like that in 2025 To enter Costco, you no longer "just flash your card to get in the store," your card is scanned upon entry and the person at the door compares the photo with the actual person. I've been challenged a few times with, "is HE here with you today?" To which I reply, "yes I am!" leading to apologies from them and both of us chuckling about it. I've really decided that if there's no ill intent, it doesn't bother me. The employee is simply doing their job, making sure that nonmembers aren't using the card of members.

I'm addressed by my other name at work. My co-workers will ask for help or guidance and call me using my other name. If I have a good interaction with customers, they'll often ask my name. I give my birth name. It's what's on my work ID and on my paycheck. I feel more powerful afterward. It forces THEM to understand that we exist and to understand that the garbage they're hearing on the biased media channels is not accurate.

The attacks against transgender people from the Oval Office have only strengthened my desire to move forward in life.

I. AM. NOT. GOING. AWAY. 

I hope you will also continue to live authentically. We must remain visible and present in the world.

Heather.

ps. Remember that Transgender Day of Visibility is coming up in three weeks. It's a Monday, you know that I'll be a publicly visible transgender person who is gainfully employed.

March 31. Monday, 3/31/25 TDoV. Transgender Day of Visibility. You have three weeks to get out!

"Transgendered people"

Look, we all know that there's an effort to cancel us. Don't let that happen! Get out and do something in OUR world. 

You have every right to exist. You are valid. You matter. YOU need to be seen.

I have managed to be out since November 2023. If I can exist publicly in conservative rural America, maybe you can too!

The world IS ours. Don't let hate win. It isn't always easy but every day I'm out validates my existence. 

I have to put up with intolerant crap far too often. You probably do too.

Thursday, a guy came into my office and was upset with democrats over current policies. He was unhinged on a whole new level. The woman behind him must have recognized his insanity by the look on her face (and then she apologized to me for having to deal with the public).

A crazy lady came to my work yesterday, she had all the hallmarks of bigotry. I absolutely p!ssed her off when I didn't play along with her BS comments about current events. Of course, if I comment about political topics it could be reason for termination. 

The most important things I am trying to remember for my own life are, "Be true to yourself. Don't hide. Living doesn't mean to be cowering. We must not allow ourselves to be abused or stepped on or canceled. We exist and nobody can erase us. 

Thanks for reading this,

Heather.

Exist. Do it. You are the only person that gets to decide your life.

 Hi, 

I haven't been around much. I'm still existing. Heather goes to work every day. 

It's important to acknowledge our existence. You matter. I matter. You're worthy.

Things have been mostly okay. I'm alive. 

I have never shared this publicly:

I had a medical procedure in February. It wasn't great. I guess I flatlined on the table. One third of the procedure was completed before they revived me without incident by removing the anesthetic and giving me staight oxygen. 

Jeez, I can't even think straight and they gave me straight oxygen... 

I have no negative effect from the surgery and am hoping to get the rest of the work done. I have sinus inflammation and a deviated septum. The partial surgery has improved my breathing.

As a result of the incident, my ENT has referred me to another cardiologist. (I had been to a different one a year ago but he was not helpful. It took many months to get the results of my testing.) I've been going to the ENT as Heather and this new cardiologist has only seen Heather. 

The best thing about this doctor's staff is that on my second visit, I was greeted as an old friend.

Whether you are out or not, you need to remember to live. 

One weak man's negative opinion doesn't mean anything to me. He can try to cancel us but he'll fail.

Thanks for reading this.

I'm okay. I genuinely hope you're okay too.

Heather.

January Seven, Two thousand twenty-five! I made someone's day brighter.

Hi friends,

I'm here. I'm managing as well as possible and hope y'all are coping as well as possible.

I encountered a nice person today. They were in my office. I checked them in. 

I had them enter their personal information into our computer and realized their "dead name" is the same as mine! I asked them their name and they said, "X" but I prefer "A."

I replied, " 'X?' Hey, that was my name too!"

I checked them in and our system recognized them as "X."

I thought for a second... I told my coworker, "I'll be right back." I go to the lobby.. and ask 'A' "you said you prefer 'A,' right? I tell her, I can't promise it'll work but I'll put that you prefer 'A' and hopefully it will work but listen for either name..."

I run back to my computer... hit the edit button for their info... hoping that someone hadn't claimed their task... and updated their profile...

A few minutes later, Julie comes to call her next customer, opens the door and calls "A." 

My direct co-worker said that "A" smiled.

I got shivers! I felt that I had genuinely done my good deed for the day!

I hope this little interaction brings a bit of happiness to your day.

Heather.