Proposal part deux. IRL safety.

 Hi again,

Another day, another Wednesday and a tale from the workplace. This has been sitting unfinished since last week. I'm just hitting publish and rolling with it.

Mid day Wednesday, one co-worker is off, two are on lunch I'm ma'aming the front desk. Solo at the front of the office, I'm interacting with the public, answering questions and checking in those who need it. A guy comes in, needs to be checked in.

He's a bit too friendly and starts asking questions. Other people come in, I tell him to sit and wait to be called, checking in the other folks who came in. 

I sign back into the system to deal with his request. 

He asks about earbuds. 

Nope, I don't use 'em. Headphones, over the ear. Never liked earbuds, even 35 years ago when Sony came out with them.

He asks about bluetooth. 

I replied, I don't even use it in my cars. (My car has a bluetooth stereo but I question where the microphone was placed since nobody can hear me when I use it.)  He says something about age. I reply, at sixty I'm older than you think and don't do whatever it was he suggested next. 

I don't like people coming on to me.

I'll bet most of the followers of this page have a "life is short" concept where we fear living our best life because of a "what will they say" effect from their family, friends or the general public. I certainly did and the memory of that still haunts me. I've been planning on telling my only sibling about Heather's existence. I wanted to do so over the past summer but I never had a moment with her where I could spill the beans. I have my next chance Wednesday when I travel east to stay with my Dad while my sister and her husband take a much needed vacation. I honestly believe she's been at least partly aware of my gender non-conformity because I've always shared my photos from Halloween and events I attended in my preferred clothing. 

Time to go.

See you in a few weeks.

Heather.

Proposal! Online safety.

 Hi

Breaking news!

I have an admirer! They're smitten and want to make me their one and only.

Yes, I'm married. I've been married for twenty years. Not interested, not on the market, not even looking.

Of course the important take away is...Be careful when using the internet. Looking at their profile, they propose to many people.

The inappropriate comments that have appeared in my replies are not much different. 

Don't forget to be smart about how you exist in the online world. Be cautious about who you interact with.

Heather.  

Coming soon to an airport near you!

Hello, 

Just a quick message...

I'll be traveling again, soon! I'll be away for about three weeks in November and December and I'll have to figure out how to sign in on the laptop. If I can't... and you don't see me for a few weeks... you'll know where I am. I'm flying out after the holiday and flying back after the holiday weekend.

I'm hoping to see something different than my usual travel activities. Maybe I'll have time to get to some historic location or see a presentation or tour the local library to learn about my hometown. I'd love to take a train trip somewhere or a short rail excursion but I'll also be responsible again for caring for my Dad. 

I have just over a week to do some research. Maybe there's some kind of pride event? Drag bingo? Drag shows?

Oh, I'm looking!

I'll post more before I fly.

Have a great week.

Heather

Marilyn! Halloween 25 or was it 24? Life stuff, too.

 

Hey, that's me in my Marilyn dress!

Greetings! 

Another day in the life.

Yesterday was October 31, a state holiday in Nevada. No work but don't worry, I get to wear a dress to work any day I choose and Thursday was no exception. The above photo is from Halloween 2024, me in all my glory as Marilyn wearing the "iconic" dress. I have worn the blonde wig before and just don't like how I look as a blonde. My birth hair color was brown but 60 years of life has washed much of the color out and now I'm becoming greyer every day. My chosen color is a red/auburn which I've been told works well with my eyes and skintone and I really love it.

Back to Friday's events... We had city errands: pick up spouse's eyeglasses from optician, collect auction items and my spouse had an initial visit with a podiatrist. As usual, I chose to stress out over how to present myself. I didn't want to look like a caricature or seem like I was a cis male wearing a costume. I had an idea of how I'd wanted to look. I wanted to be a bit over the top. I was considering the Marilyn dress since my kids never saw me in it and one of them bought it for me! I was worried that wearing a white dress for an entire day, in public, doing "who knows what" probably wasn't going to be a smart idea.  I settled on my 3 years ago Halloween dress, blue with white polka dots. I really love how it looks on me and it is one of the dresses I've voted in. I go all out. Nylons, sensible heels, lacy slip, blue dotted dress and my new wig.  and now she's with overdressed Heather in public. My spouse was wearing a sleeveless top and shorts while I'm all dolled up. I had talked with her about wanting to be a bit over the top and she was okay with the idea and presentation. 

Photo from 2022: Me after voting in the mid-term election. I really love this dress. This is what I wore Thursday to work and all day Friday. 

 

Out we go, I realize we need to put fuel in the van. I'm way overdressed to be pumping gas in my dress and heels but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! Off to auction pickup, been there a zillion times before without any incident but holy cow there were so many cars lined up. People in their cars getting their stuff! Off to the eye doctor. We're now a couple hours from the house, my body was sending me messages about the coffee I'd had earlier. Spouse goes in, returns with new glasses. I said, "Time for me to break my own rule." I go in and say "Hi, I'm with her. It's a long drive. I'd like to use the restroom." No big deal. I don't think the two women recognized their customer of 30 years. I've never been to this office fully dressed up. I almost always wear a bra and breast forms and my tee shirt doesn't hide those facts but I've always presented myself in boy-mode. The doctor is a bishop in his conservative church but he comes across as an open-minded and accepting person. I didn't see him or his daughter, the other doctor in the practice in the office. She seems even more open-minded. If I didn't know better, based on things she's said in the past I'd think she has a female life partner but have neither proof nor evidence to back up my belief.

Off to the main event: podiatrist. New doctors stress her out. Along the way, we stop at a drive-thru for 2 burger combo meals and eat in the doctor's parking lot. Sheesh, what used to be a $4.89 meal is now twice as much...  I remember hearing some hollow promise about "on day one..."

Appointment time arrives, we go inside, check in, paperwork, ID & insurance, co-pay and wait a short time. It was a bit of a bland waiting room but not unwelcoming. The assistant calls us back to an exam room and we again wait a short time. Doc comes in... What a great bedside manner! He had us laughing, Spouse had him laughing, I had us laughing. We talked about her condition and my existence and our living in a conservative small town and my existence... He said he was glad that I chose to live authentically and be out while working with the public. I told him how I've been out for three years, that it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

My guess was that my spouse had Plantar Warts, Doc complimented my diagnostic skills but said I was wrong like many of the GP's who send patients to him.  She has Plantar Fasciitis. He requested x-rays, recommended a course of action and we have a follow up in a month. I might make an appointment for him to look at my feet issues at the same time. It was a great experience for us.

She had conned herself into thinking that there was no stress in seeing a new doctor but when she got to the car, admitted to feeling anxiety before meeting the Doc. Later realizing the stress was totally unnecessary. My stress about Heather meeting a doctor or needing to use a public restroom was also unnecessary.

After the doctor we went across the city for the third time to visit my kids and their Mom. My youngest had made spaghetti earlier in the week and that was dinner. Good call not wearing Marilyn!

We left home at about 11:15 am and returned home about 12 hours later. For her to be out of the house for twelve hours is a rare thing! What a wonderful day out.

Keep this in mind, don't let a fear of others become a barrier to how you live your life. Live for you. What others might think about me can't dictate my happiness. Yep, there might be a small group of people throwing lots of hostility toward our sisters and brothers but I believe most people are accepting of us and/or won't even notice that they just interacted with a transgender person.

Have a great November! 

Thanks for visiting.

Heather

Commentary on the comment section. Pardon me, I'm old.

Moonrise over southern Nevada.

Greetings,

I've been on and off posting here for a number of years and after seeing spam cooking up in reply to my ramblings, I changed some setting on this page to "moderated comments." This was years ago...

As the headline states... Pardon me, I'm old.

I am used to social media platforms with a notification alert icon. 

Automobile site Jalopnik.com notification icon:

Evil social media site:

Archevil social media site:

Even my Outlook email at work has a red dot for notifications. I'm not at work so no screen shot...

Can you guess how surprised I was yesterday when I was actually looking at this front page and see: 

On the right side it has a site counter but nothing indicating "comment awaiting moderation." I clicked that comments link on the left sidebar and viola! Holy something! I have some work to do, reading and responding to the huge list of comments. 

If you've commented and I've never responded or reacted or interacted... now we all know why! It wasn't out of malice, I wasn't aware of the required interaction with a button to unleash the magic of the comment section. Pardon me, I'm old. I offer a heartfelt thank you to everyone who reads my blubbering on this silly blog and please accept my apology for not knowing that I was responsible (irresponsible?) for not replying.

Have a good Tuesday.

Thanks again for visiting and for putting up with my shenanigans!

Heather

Sixty spins around the sun! Lots happening, hop in and lets go!

Hello happy readers!

My photo of the Age of Chivalry Renaissance Festival. I'm not visible since I'm behind the camera.

Welcome back to another edition of this old broad. My spouse says I have broad shoulders and the older I get, the broader I, uh... become? Well, actually my weight has been steady for a couple of years...

Now that I've probably offended someone. No offense intended. I never use the term in that context, like that might be the first time I've ever uttered it either verbally or typingly. (Is that even a real word? If not... It is now! Get Merriam-Webster on the phone, STAT!)

A quick, goofy story about that word from 40+ years ago. I had bought a used Pinto hatchback for $1100 and as much as history doesn't look favorably on the Ford Pinto and the "huge number of deaths" caused by rear impacts. The legal allegation was that there were hundreds or thousands of deaths in rear collisions but the reality was the number was in the dozens. My car was from model year 1977, after the modifications were mandated by federal government. I digress. I bought that car with 77000 miles in winter or spring of 1984. It was a decent and reliable little car. The hatchback meant it could swallow fairly big things and it earned by quite a bit of money doing side jobs moving household goods for strangers. Tie a sofa on the roof and slide loveseat in the closed hatch, drive it 10 miles, tote it into an apartment and snag a quick $20. Gotta be resourceful when you're young! 

Spring of 1985 comes and I'm wanting to buy a new car. I was a nineteen year old working at a minimum wage job, hauling furniture and other household goods in my yellow Pinto and needed to go upscale. I go to the dealers looking at the new cars, gee I'd like a Mustang! Oh, look at that Mercury Capri! Wow, a Honda Prelude and that new CRX is great! Back to the Ford dealer, oh I could afford a Ford Escort but that two seat EXP is cool! 

image courtesy slashgear.com  https://www.slashgear.com/1477079/ford-exp-guide/ 

My dad says to me, "You don't want a two seat car, what if you go out and a bunch of broads want to go with you?" Yeah, he went there. The reality was that I was never a "player" like that and the likelihood of filling the car with a bunch of random women never actually happened. I look further at the Escort and realize that there was a mid-cycle refreshing of the Escort for spring 1985 including a bigger engine and a more modern front and rear fascias. After reading up on the differences I was sold me on the newer model. In 1985, I bought a new car for under $7000 while working at a minimum wage job... Full disclosure, while minimum wage was $3.35 I probably was up to $3.75 and ridin' high while rollin' in the dough taking home $130 per week. I bought a new 1985.5 Escort L and sold that 1977 Pinto for $1200 after driving it about 17000 miles in a year. I drove the heck out of that Escort for 8 years and put almost 120000 miles on it. Like the Pinto, it was mostly a great ownership experience with few problems and inexpensive to drive.

This same Dad of mine joked that if I were born a few days later, I'd have been named Chris in honor of Indigenous People's Day. I'd asked him a few years ago about this and he said "aww, I was only joking." Friendly reminder to parents out there, BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY TO YOUR KIDS! Kids don't always know when something is a joke or satire or just being said as a gag! I've always tried to be aware of the things I'd say to my kids when they were young because I knew they were little sponges, picking up on things like "we were going to name you Chris," or calling women "broads," or overt racism/sexism/homophobia, or using abusive or offensive language. I think I was lucky since my parents were not users of the N word and didn't speak poorly of people who were non-white around me. I do think they were a product of their time and probably had some of the "isms" that they tried to keep suppressed. I know my Mom's stepdad had lots of the "isms." I know he was a sexist, racist and probably closeted. 

Yesterday was our annual visit to the Age of Chivalry Renaissance Festival in Las Vegas. 

https://lvrenfair.com/ 

Every year, my goal is to try to look like a woman of ill repute and instead come across appearing to be a robust 15th century woman wearing modern sandals. I remember the first time I went with the kids as adults was the time decided I won't be wearing male clothing here again.

The weather in Southern Nevada has been affected by Hurricane Priscilla 

Photo courtesy FB dot com user Tedd Florendo 

We've experienced: rain, thunder/lightning, wind and the worst thing for desert dwellers: HUMIDITY! When I was getting dressed I had pulled out one of the silicone breastplates in hopes of wearing it and having a formidable bustline. I pull it on with help of my spouse, the skintone is a bit lighter than my actual color but with the right clothing, it works. I get my skirt and notice a huge tear in the fabric at the front. Not necessarily a bad thing but I wasn't expecting it and put that option aside. All this time, I'm moving about the house, topless in the breastplate. It's probably about 75 degrees with at least 50% humidity and I'm getting warmer and wetter with ever step. I make the executive decision to skip the breastplate idea. We remove the boobs; both the silicone and my skin are completely soaked. Good call! Time to rethink the entire outfit. I dig through my stuff and find a thin brown skirt. It's nearly sheer. It fits! I grab the tattered white blouse I own exclusively for fairs and festivals and try to figure out how to best present the girls. Many postings ago on July 2, I'd shared my buying and trying the long line bra from Exquisite form. I chose to wear the black version yesterday. Review update; The boning on the right flank would poke me when I sat in a vehicle. It wasn't a fatal flaw is I'd guess that it is related to operator error.

Duh, that's not me!

Knowing the sheerness of my skirt, I needed something to add a bit of modesty. From the same auction house, I'd recently bought a satin chemise knowing that I wear it as a slip or nightwear. 

Also not me!

https://www.amazon.com/lime-flare-babydoll-lingerie-sleepwear/dp/B07WPQCCQ1?th=1&psc=1 

Quick review, good call! Comfy and made me feel like a million bucks!

I tried it over my bra, under the blouse & skirt and it was a great combination. I chose to tie the blouse, leaving the black lingerie exposed. Every time I'd look down, I'd see the shape of breasts and feel great and a bit too exposed. Every time I wear a new top that has a deep V cut, I feel like I'm naked and on display. It's weird since I believe in bodily freedom and support the right for men or women to dress as we wish AND I also believe there should be no shame for having whichever body shape or size we have. I guess the ambiguous feelings are just lingering pieces of the puritanical repression prevalent in western society.

We were still experiencing wind when we got to the shuttle parking lot. I get out of my van and the wind pulls a Marilyn on me, lifting my skirt. Good thing I took the advice of my youngest by wearing boyshort panties under the skirt! Overall, I made a good decision in my clothing choice. Looking at the photos from yesterday, I look a bit sloppy but my clothes were okay. Aside from the very long wait for the shuttle to collect us, the whole event was as much fun as every other year. It used to be a good excuse to get out of the house wearing my preferred clothing but now it's about the experience. The experience was great. I didn't interact with many people but there was on that stood out. Walking around, a woman in a lovely dress complimented ME about my outfit! It was totally out of the blue. Dang, that was a huge ego boost!

As we were leaving the event last night, I jokingly said to my youngest that I wasn't slutty enough. I've always wanted to be farther on the naughty scale for one of these events. I guess I have a year to really plan. (Or another year to procrastinate?)

Yes, I turned 60. I think I felt every one of those years with each step I took yesterday. I wore a pair of Clark's sandals yesterday. These sandals never impressed me with their comfort but are generally tolerable. I don't know if it was humidity or footwear choices I've made recently that caused my discomfort or a combination of these and other factors like age... I've been wearing new heels to work. My back has been feeling a bit stressed lately. That also could be a factor. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about aging. Living openly is possibly the best thing I've done. Going out wearing whatever I like brings me joy.

Are there still jerky people who misgender me? Yup. They're just ignorant twits.

Current events:

According to major world governments:

• I'm someone who should be institutionalized because of my choosing to live openly.
• Because I'm critical of the current administration, the government wants me arrested for being a terrorist.
• I'm also a conservative target because I'm against fascism. I'm glad to align with the anti-fascist movement. All those times George Soros allegedly sent checks to "resisters," I wish I had gotten some of those fresh, sweet dollar bills!

I'm not sitting quietly. I'm not hiding or quivering in the closet. I'm sixty years old. I've played by the rules for my entire life. I treat others with the respect I expect be shown to me. I've worked hard and paid my way through life. We all need to participate to protect our nation's democracy.

Here's your daily reminder to go out and live your life. Stand up for your Constitutionally guaranteed rights to freedom of speech, your freedom of/from religion, your freedom to protest, your freedom of movement and all the other protections laid out in the Bill of Rights and US Constitution.

Here's a quick link to our nation's highest law. 

https://ballotpedia.org/United_States_Constitution  

We're here today. More people are coming out daily. We have the support of a large percentage of the population; our leaders seem to think that repression is the best path forward. Again, see the paragraph and link above!

Have a great week.

Do something special for yourself. Get an extra cup of coffee at Dunkin Donuts. Have your brows waxed. Get your ears pierced. Buy a new dress! Get your nails done. Mine are black with spider webs drawn on the "ring" fingers! Never had them done in black or had a design and I love it! 

Life's too short to not get the most out of it.

Thank you for viewing my page.

Heather

Influence. First Amendment rights. Censorship. Acceptable use and 2025

October 11 is International Coming Out Day.

If you're reading this, you're already aware that I'm living openly as a transgender woman in a conservative town. 

I set a challenge to myself at the beginning of 2025 to be out to more people publicly in my private life. I am out to some of my medical providers and other are possibly never going to be told. It isn't worth adding another level of stress to my existence just to tell people something that won't make a difference in their life. If I see the provider one or two times per year and they aren't made aware of my reality, so be it. If they ask, I probably will spill the beans.

My personal social media page has had a photo of me in a skirt for a number of years. I've never stated that I'm a transgender woman on Fakebook and until recently, I'd never followed any pages that show any kind of connection to the LGBTQ community. I don't know when it happened but something changed in my algorithms. I use two different browsers for my two personae. Google Chrome for the original person and Microsoft Edge for Heather. I'm signed in to both browsers as the respective user and I didn't link the two accounts so some shenanigans must have happened where the Chrome browser was snooping on Heather's Edge browsing history. This spring I started seeing more and more transgender content in my Fakebook feed. Lo and behold I decided that I'm okay with my personal promise to not hide in the shadows and started "liking" and "following" that content.

Yeah, social media is a scourge on society. I curate the things in my feed. If I see trash in my feed I click "not interested" or "block user." Same with the advertisers in that timeline. I also use an adblocker that usually works fairly well. Garbage does appear in my feed and there are times when "breaking news" clogs the feed with tributes to people unworthy of the oxygen they'd consumed during their living days but again "not interested" is called to action. Of course, there are times when any interaction with that content makes the algorithm add more of the objectionable BS to my feed and I'm not so ignorant to believe that clicking "not interested" is truly effective at anything more than giving me a feeling of doing something. It's like the alleged "community standards" applied to social media. When reported, hateful, bigoted, racist, homophobic and offensive content usually comes back with" 

"We didn't remove the comment

To keep our review process as fair as possible, we use the same set of Community Standards to review all reports.

We've taken a look and found that this content doesn't go against our Community Standards.

We understand that this might be upsetting so we recommend exploring the options available to control what you see.."

Yup, fascism, hate speech, directed insults, bigotry, personal attacks and homophobic content doesn't go against their "community standards." Years back I shared an article from Australia. It was a fascinating article about indigenous culture. The cover photo was a profile photo of a Native Australian woman wearing just a skirt and body paints. I got flagged with a strike for posting nudity.  Community standards.

Yeah, you know where this is heading.

I'll be brief with the rest of my rant... 

Don't make the fearless leader angry!

If the punishment for repeating the words uttered by a person is immediate termination but calling for lethal injection of homeless people and people suffering from mental illness brings no repercussions, we've already gone around the bend toward totalitarianism.

I'm not a fan of Colbert but Kimmel's show was entertaining. Comedians have offered their opinion of a president for generations. People shout that they're too political now. BS! 

Remember the important words. Don't make the fearless leader angry!

Also remember the words I recently posted in this space: 

"Here's my deal...

I'm not hiding. I lived my life, hiding the real me, for much too long. I've been "out" for nearly 3 years and I WILL NOT be returning to the closet.

Stand proud. Shout it out loud. WE ARE NOT GOING AWAY!"

Earlier this year I shared this:

"I think many of us are a bit worried about the future of our civil rights. I have no interest in going back in the closet."

If I let fearless leader and his pals win it will affect the future of any person who views themself as "different" from the textbook definition of whatever thing fearless leader's posse is trying to control. I'm nonconforming and damned proud of this fact!

Have a great week. Be visible. Be aware. Be loud and proud. Be safe!

Thanks for reading this installment.

Heather.

Here's a link the Wikipedia's history of the transgender flag page.

Transgender flag - Wikipedia