Visiblility. Life. Family.

 

These colors don't run!

Good morning,

Monday was the big day. Much of world honored Transgender Day of Visibility and I was visible. I genuinely hope you were able to be out in the world as your true self. I worked a full day at the office and I wore a favorite dress. I haven't worn a dress to work possibly since my dressing as Marilyn Monroe on Halloween. The day was uneventful. A few co-workers called my dress cute.

The plan had been to take the kids out for dinner after work, they would be leaving the gym and head to the restaurant after. We spoke with the kids, chose a restaurant that agreed with everyone's dietary needs and restrictions, drove into Vegas and shared a couple of hours of pleasant company.  The place we picked is called Greens and Proteins. https://www.greensandproteins.com/ It has a menu that has meat and non-meat items. The kids had never been to this place but seemed to like it for a number of reasons. It's near their gym and it's very close to their Mom's second house. 

We had a nice time. The restaurant wasn't too busy, it was a Monday, but there was a steady stream of patrons getting to-go orders and sitting to eat. The "me" part of the experience was fine. I never felt uncomfortable or threatened or unwelcome. I think that most people are just not worried about other people trying to live their lives. On the way home, we stopped off at McDonalds for a McFlurry and milkshake. Meh.

And that's how I spent my summer vacation... LOL.

Nah, that's actually how I spent Transgender Day of Visibility.

Heather

ps. I hope you had a way to present your real self this past Monday. Going out is important. We need to prove that we're not the monsters we're portrayed to be by certain people. We have always existed and as I said in the first sentence, these colors don't run.

Monday. March 31, 2025. Transgender Day of Visibility is here.

Hi,

First of all, why are you here reading this when it's Transgender Day of Visibility? Aren't y'all supposed to be out doing things to be visible?

Technically, it's 10:10 pm pacific time here so it's really TDOV eve... but you know what I mean.

Yesterday was nail day. I got a cat's eye look in a shimmery grey. I'll try to post a photo in the near future. Kids and I went to Ulta Cosmetics, Sprouts, Costco, WinCo supermarket, youngest collected auction items while oldest and I were at the nail salon and another supermarket and then we returned to their house. It was a great day. The nail salon was awesome, as always. The staff loves my kids and by association... me. It's like when I've gone to the cardiologist, welcoming me like an old friend.

Monday will bring 8 hours of work and then my spouse and I are off to dinner with the kids. I'm SO looking forward to this.

It's after ten and I'm working tomorrow. Time to get my dress ready! Did I mention that it's going to be windy in Southern Nevada tomorrow? Fun times!

Have a great day. Go out and be visible!

Heather

Nail day!

 Good morning,

Since October I've been getting my nails done about once a month. Today is the day for the tech to fill and change my color. I have a few ideas of what I'd like for my new color. I haven't gotten a pattern or design on them nor have I done the thing with different colors on each nail and don't think I'm heading in either of those directions. I'd like to get the look of a fire opal where you get the illusion of multiple colors based on how you're looking at it. I don't know if my chosen salon has that as an option. 

I told a coworker that I've started calling the hair under my preferred cut and color my "fake hair." Rarely does anyone in "the real world" see it so it's really a fake presentation when I'm in boy mode. Today's the day to get a fake haircut, too! I usually go to a budget chain salon, Great Clips for this. I generally go in boy mode but I'm thinking of mixing it up today. I only have a short time to decide. Which outfit? I'll figure it out and tell about it tomorrow. The boy mode ends as soon as I see my kids. Heather will spend the rest of the day out and about. Aften getting done up, it'll be off to grocery stores and Costco! 

Ahh, the life of a modern gurl!

Have a great weekend, Chat later!

Heather

ps. The nails have to make the right statement because I'm going to the dentist next week and I know it'll trigger a response from him.

A quick Good Morning to all!

 Hello and Good Morning!

Wednesday, March 26. Just a few days until Transgender Day of Visibility!

I have contacted my kids and we're have solid plans to get dinner in Vegas Monday night! My kids, spouse and I enjoy Mediterranean food and we discovered a place that's not hard to get to for the kids and us. I'm thinking about wearing a favorite dress and sandals. I'm really looking forward to this. Thinking back to the times before "outing" myself at work full time, I'd always wanted to do something special on Transgender Day of Visibility but never managed to make it happen.

We all have to remember to be the best person for ourselves because if we don't speak out for ourselves, nobody else will. I keep seeing things online stating that the number of LGBTQIA+ people are increasing every year. I think the percentage has remained the same but we're tired of living in the closet and made the decision to live openly and honestly! I am happier today with myself than I was three years ago because I present the real me every day.

I'm thinking that my spouse and I will be taking a short vacation in the near future. Nothing too far away. I just need time away from home and work. I need an adventure! It'll be like the Reno trip with my kids a few years ago. I won't bring any "male" clothing, no way to hide or back out, a full time Heather on the road!

Okay, time to get myself dolled up for work.

Happy Wednesday!

Thanks for stopping in.

I repeated the January 7 incident with another person!

I don't remember exactly when this second thing happened but it was a great interaction.

I was stationed at the front desk of our office and two people came in... Clearly a Mom and their offspring... The younger person looked a bit uncomfortable. Mom did most of the talking. I asked my usual questions to determine why they were there that day. After a few minutes the younger person asked if I was trans. It isn't often that someone comes out and asks me and I generally won't/don't reply but since the young person was in a place I understood, I acknowledged her question and replied yes! I checked them in and they stayed at the window chatting with me for a few minutes. Mom asked if I knew any support groups in town and my immediate response was no... I mentioned a couple of places that probably would be able to help the young woman navigate our conservative town. After a few minutes, someone came in and they took a seat, waiting for assistance. I thought about the support group question... remembering that there is an all inclusive LGBTQIA group. I had to share the information and went to where they were sitting and said to look up the person and I'd met them a few years back, seems nice.

They get called. A short time later I take my break and they're close to the conference room. I stop and chat (it's probably completely inappropriate for me to talk about such issues at work) but Mom asked how long I have been out at work, how accepted I am by the public and if I feel safe. I told her my opinion, "most people are decent but there are people who know nothing more than how to be jerks." I also said that it's important to be yourself even when it's hard to do it.

I genuinely think that I had a very positive impact on their day. I still feel that being a good role model is key. I think I represent transgender folks in a very positive manner. Some days I have many interactions with the public and multiple days in a row... Some people are pretty awesome, just like the people you'd want to know are your neighbors. 

Two posts in one day! What's up with that??

This story popped into my mind and I didn't want to let it fade away.

Remember to be visible! Make your plans, Transgender Day of Visibility is a week away!

Thanks for spending the time to read this.

Heather

3/23/25 one week away from TDOV. Stand up to tyranny!

 Howdy!

We're a week away from Transgender Day Of Visibility. I've heard of places promoting TDOV on Saturday, March 29, 2025. 

https://www.middletownct.gov/1451/Transgender-Day-of-Visibility-2025 

I'm working next Monday. I'll be visible to the public and am hoping to wear a favorite dress. After work, I'm hoping we'll get dinner out with my kids. It'll be worth the ridiculous drive.

If you're in a place where it's safe to do, go out and be visible. I have steeled my resolve to not let the haters win! I've continued going about my business wearing what I choose. Friday morning I had the pleasure of getting a cardiac stress test. This happened at the same office that previously had welcomed me as an old friend on my second visit. I wore the same clothes I've worn to work numerous times, sports bra, panties, black under shirt, jeans and lovely blouse. The people were terrific. I've never told them to call me anything other than my birth name but present fully as Heather at every visit. On Friday's visit, I did something that's totally out of my normal: I engaged people... including total strangers. Part of the stress test included injecting a radioactive element into my bloodstream so they can track heart function before and after exercise. After the injection, my spouse texted me that she had to stay outside since I was "radioactive." Of course it led me to find the rock song from the '80's "Radioactive" by The Firm. I played it on my phone while waiting... A member of the staff walks by the waiting room and says to the technician who'd injected me, "I feel heat" and I quipped that it was me since "I'm radioactive." She laughed. We started talking about the song and I showed her that I was just watching the video... She loves that song...  Another patient comes into the waiting room... The staff lady had a strong NYC accent and I told her that we're from the same region. Me Mass and her Long Island and find out the new arrival to the waiting room was from Indiana. We chatted about liking the desert over cold weather... It felt good.

Yesterday, my spouse and I were going through our rarely worn clothes pile and I found a bunch of garments I'd forgotten about. One was a lavender "body-con" dress with high/low hem. I'm wearing it right now! Someone, who is married to me, is uncomfortable with how short the front is but I love it. The low hem at the back is almost too long in my opinion, almost maxi-dress length. I feel as though I'm either dragging it or will step on it even with my 2.5" heels on. But it looks terrific on me.

With the rarely worn clothing, we're going to sort the stuff out for selling online, selling locally, donation and tossing out. I have a pretty good collection of clothes that I'd bought prior to "coming out" and thought I'd never have a chance to wear outside the house. Time passes and we forget that those things exist... It makes me wonder what else I've bought and forgot!

I'm a transgender person. I have told many people that I cannot put this part of me back into a box. I will stand beside my transgender sisters and brother and any/all nonbinary people or those on the LGBTQIA spectrum against the current government leaders trying to erase all mention of us. I don't care what they do because I'm here and they can pound sand! Enough people support our cause.

Have a good week.

• Be safe out there but BE OUT THERE!
• We are valid.
• We are a part of society. 
• We MATTER. 

Thanks for visiting

Heather.

Saturday. Beware the Ides of March...

Hey, well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Well, if you want to be a movie star
I got the ticket to Hollywood
But if you want to stay just like you are
You know I think you really should

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you
Oh, you know I do

Well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, babe
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, I got to have ya
Great God in heaven you know I love you

And I'm your vehicle, babe
Alright

You know I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Song by "The Ides of March." All credit to the songwriter, Jim Peterik

The Wikipedia page on this song is pretty interesting.

Vehicle (song) - Wikipedia

A bit of artistic liberty was taken when the lyrics were transcribed to my blog.

I remember liking this song from the first time hearing it (and paying attention to the tune and lyrics) as a young teen. The driving beat, brass and lyrics stuck with me. Forty something years later, I still enjoy hearing "Vehicle."

It's interesting how music stirs something deep inside us. It's almost like music and the arts are an essential part of the foundation of human existence. 

Looking at current events, one can only wonder how people can cut funding to the arts because of "woke" attitudes infesting are institutions. Do the people furthering these ideas not understand that the arts have been performed by "diverse people" for hundreds, nay thousands of years? Can you just imagine how their minds would be blown when they learn that in the 1500's, actual men wore "female" clothing and acted in "female" parts on the Shakespearean stage? I know! It's an outrage. Dang ol' woke people with their new ideas trying to destroy all that is well and good about "Merica."

ps. (if you didn't know) I'm a person who was born into a body that I never felt comfortable with and live as my daily life as a woman even though the interior shell differs from the exterior presentation.

Part of why I posted about "The Ides of March" is that a couple of weeks ago someone posted photos of a banner at a political conference showing trump as Julius Caesar and promoting "The Third Term Project." We all know how March 15 worked out for Julius...

We all have to remember that nobody can define who we are. We know what's best for us. I'm an open-minded person and when presented with valid and factual information, I'm willing to change my thinking.

March 31, 2025 is a Monday. It's also Transgender Day of Visibility and I want to invite each of you to participate in being publicly visible. I will be at work. I don't know if I'm going to be doing any extracurricular activities outside of work. I'd like to believe that we'll do something special like dinner.

Another crazy thing I'd learned this week... A teacher was reprimanded over posters in their classroom. The propaganda on the posters,

"Everyone is welcome here"

and

"in this room, everyone is:

welcome

important

accepted

respected

encouraged

valued

equal"

Updated: A West Ada teacher was asked to remove signs promoting inclusivity. Controversy ensued. 

Regarding visibility, we do have a dental appointment on April 2 and I'm genuinely not sure how I'll present myself. The dentist is not exactly tolerant. My therapist asked why we go to a dentist who I called a "dick?" The simple answer is that when my spouse discovered him, they got along really well and she was comfortable. We didn't know what he'd become until a few years ago when his colors were revealed. I've thought about really putting him off and going in full regalia. I won't be able to change my nails since I had them done at a salon and long dippy colorful nails are going to be obvious. We'll see what happens. Of course, I'll blog about it.

I'll be back with more insights.

Have a great weekend.

Stay visible!

Heather