Influence. First Amendment rights. Censorship. Acceptable use and 2025

October 11 is International Coming Out Day.

If you're reading this, you're already aware that I'm living openly as a transgender woman in a conservative town. 

I set a challenge to myself at the beginning of 2025 to be out to more people publicly in my private life. I am out to some of my medical providers and other are possibly never going to be told. It isn't worth adding another level of stress to my existence just to tell people something that won't make a difference in their life. If I see the provider one or two times per year and they aren't made aware of my reality, so be it. If they ask, I probably will spill the beans.

My personal social media page has had a photo of me in a skirt for a number of years. I've never stated that I'm a transgender woman on Fakebook and until recently, I'd never followed any pages that show any kind of connection to the LGBTQ community. I don't know when it happened but something changed in my algorithms. I use two different browsers for my two personae. Google Chrome for the original person and Microsoft Edge for Heather. I'm signed in to both browsers as the respective user and I didn't link the two accounts so some shenanigans must have happened where the Chrome browser was snooping on Heather's Edge browsing history. This spring I started seeing more and more transgender content in my Fakebook feed. Lo and behold I decided that I'm okay with my personal promise to not hide in the shadows and started "liking" and "following" that content.

Yeah, social media is a scourge on society. I curate the things in my feed. If I see trash in my feed I click "not interested" or "block user." Same with the advertisers in that timeline. I also use an adblocker that usually works fairly well. Garbage does appear in my feed and there are times when "breaking news" clogs the feed with tributes to people unworthy of the oxygen they'd consumed during their living days but again "not interested" is called to action. Of course, there are times when any interaction with that content makes the algorithm add more of the objectionable BS to my feed and I'm not so ignorant to believe that clicking "not interested" is truly effective at anything more than giving me a feeling of doing something. It's like the alleged "community standards" applied to social media. When reported, hateful, bigoted, racist, homophobic and offensive content usually comes back with" 

"We didn't remove the comment

To keep our review process as fair as possible, we use the same set of Community Standards to review all reports.

We've taken a look and found that this content doesn't go against our Community Standards.

We understand that this might be upsetting so we recommend exploring the options available to control what you see.."

Yup, fascism, hate speech, directed insults, bigotry, personal attacks and homophobic content doesn't go against their "community standards." Years back I shared an article from Australia. It was a fascinating article about indigenous culture. The cover photo was a profile photo of a Native Australian woman wearing just a skirt and body paints. I got flagged with a strike for posting nudity.  Community standards.

Yeah, you know where this is heading.

I'll be brief with the rest of my rant... 

Don't make the fearless leader angry!

If the punishment for repeating the words uttered by a person is immediate termination but calling for lethal injection of homeless people and people suffering from mental illness brings no repercussions, we've already gone around the bend toward totalitarianism.

I'm not a fan of Colbert but Kimmel's show was entertaining. Comedians have offered their opinion of a president for generations. People shout that they're too political now. BS! 

Remember the important words. Don't make the fearless leader angry!

Also remember the words I recently posted in this space: 

"Here's my deal...

I'm not hiding. I lived my life, hiding the real me, for much too long. I've been "out" for nearly 3 years and I WILL NOT be returning to the closet.

Stand proud. Shout it out loud. WE ARE NOT GOING AWAY!"

Earlier this year I shared this:

"I think many of us are a bit worried about the future of our civil rights. I have no interest in going back in the closet."

If I let fearless leader and his pals win it will affect the future of any person who views themself as "different" from the textbook definition of whatever thing fearless leader's posse is trying to control. I'm nonconforming and damned proud of this fact!

Have a great week. Be visible. Be aware. Be loud and proud. Be safe!

Thanks for reading this installment.

Heather.

Here's a link the Wikipedia's history of the transgender flag page.

Transgender flag - Wikipedia

2025. Call me woke. I'm not a monster. If you're non-binary or transgender LGBTQ+, you're not either.

Good afternoon.

Despite the rumors about transgender folks, the majority of us are not the problem.

What do we want? Sometimes, all we (wee?) need is to pee.

Yes, there are lots of humans. And when you have a population, there's a likelihood that every population will be representing in most demographics. If you listen cable news or the right podcasts, you'll learn that people are claiming transgender folks are the only people causing the majorities of the nation's problems. 

Here are the troubles I'm causing: I go to work five days a week. I pay my taxes. I buy food, clothing, auto supplies and household goods. Thus, I expect to be treated the same as any other person.

I post some incendiary things online: Stories about my life and my experiences. Information about events I've attended and products I've bought to enhance my female presentation.

They call us woke. Guilty as charged! Woke, to me, means that I'm enlightened and aware.

I'm not ashamed of who I am or how I live. I do the best I can to survive and maintain my mental health and support my spouse! There is no reason to shame a person who is minding their own business.

There is never a reason to target others for how a life is lived. Especially when the targeting is based on religion. We must never use religion to target others, also. If we consider the motivation of those targeting members of the transgender community, they claim to be using Christianity to target people for how we live our lives. I was raised Catholic. I don't remember the part in Sunday School where Jesus proclaimed, "Treat others poorly. Attack them for their beliefs! Shun the needy and hungry!" The big messages I remember were "love thy neighbor and to turn your cheek."

Here's my deal...

I'm not hiding. I lived my life, hiding the real me, for much too long. I've been "out" for nearly 3 years and I WILL NOT be returning to the closet.

Stand proud. Shout it out loud. WE ARE NOT GOING AWAY!

Thank you for standing with me,

I'll be back.

Heather

Flying as a transgender person in 2025 is possible, so far...

Hi and welcome back,

With the last posting I announced a week away to see my Dad, older sister and her husband. The flight out from Vegas was chaotic. Delays and cancellations and poor communication from the airline led to losing an entire day of vacation. The original flight was departing Tuesday night with arrival around 8:00 am at Bradley. I checked in 24 hours prior to the scheduled departure time, went to bed, got up for work, get there and open my phone to get the "two factor authenticator" allowing me to access the computer network and see a string of messages from the airline. First up was a message announcing potential weather delays which came through after midnight. Next was a series of messages received in short succession around 7:15 am telling of my flight's cancellation and if I chose to not fly, I could get a refund. Next was the details of the new flight and times. Leaving Vegas around 6:00 am and arriving at Bradley around 8:00 pm. Ugh. Ultimately, I didn't get there until about 10:45 pm after a series of weather delays and airport closures due to stormy weather. Got to the house around 11:30.

A bit of advice for transgender travelers, make sure your gender marker on your airline itinerary matches your "official state issued ID gender marker."  I vaguely remember changing my marker to X with the airline but my ID matches my photo taken in 2012. This added an extra trip from the security check point back to the airline check-in counter and if you're not careful it could really put you behind schedule. The security line was shorter than the one at check-in. It added about ten minutes to my trip through the airport. 

Yes, Heather flew from Vegas to Bradley. That was the only real problem I'd encountered. Because of the flight changes, my boarding position changed for the worse. Way back of the plane for both legs of the outbound flight. Among the last in and out of the plane. I discovered the "assistance" restrooms within the concourse at Bradley on this trip. I didn't want to shock my sister so I used the restroom and switched my top to a male t-shirt and removed my auburn hair and went natural. 

• I never had a time where I was able to come out to her. 
• I did show off my nails. I was honest about my natural nails constantly breaking, splitting and causing bleeding. Telling how it was one of the best decisions I've made.
• During this trip there was never a time when I wasn't wearing a bra and C or D breastforms. I don't know which I brought.
• No mention was made about this by my family.
• Visiting friends in New Hampshire, no mention was made about my nails or breast size. The host of Saturday evening has a transgender child. Usually, his family doesn't stick around long but this visit was much different. Wife and T child shared dinner with the friends and the conversation was amazing. It was pretty great.

It was a quiet visit. Aside from the trip to New Hampshire, I didn't do anything. 

For the return trip I wore basically the same clothes with a button up shirt over my blouse, found another "assistance" restroom and put myself back together for the long, uneventful flight west.  

What color did pick for my nails? Do I like them? What is the plan for the future of my nails? This and many other questions a will be answered below!

My nails have the color of a cup of "regular" coffee from Dunkin Donuts. The salon had just received a new color selection palette. I also learned that there is an option of matte finish or glossy! I picked the matte. 

Do I like how they look? Yep! I love the color and shape. While looking at the color choices, I saw one that in brick red. I'm doing that in two weeks with the matte finish. For the October choice, I think I'm doing a pink tourmaline look since it's my birthstone. 

For now, I'm signing off. I'll post again soon.

Thanks for stopping in

Heather

The state of travel in 2025.

Hi,

I recently shared that I'm going to see my family again. I'll be flying from Vegas to Bradley Airport in Windsor Locks, CT. I'm due to get my nails done in about a week. I have to make some decisions. Do I go subtle or boldly? At this time, they're a root beer/cream soda/golden cat's eye metallic with an almond shape.

And do I fly fully presenting as Heather and shock my sister when she sees her baby sister in real life for the first time? When I'm there, I'll be seeing people I know in real life. Do I go big, bright and bold with my nails? There are people who won't be expecting to see a gender non-conforming person visiting them. The people who have no idea about this important part of me. Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. 

I'm not taking my nails down to their natural state for anything. Getting fake nails was one of the best choices I've ever made for myself. I love the fact that they don't break or split and they always get compliments, ALWAYS!

Maybe a subtle color will be right. Ugh, BORING! 

I do have to bring male clothes. Regardless of the nail situation, family and friends, I'm hoping to have at least one day where Heather can get out. Also, I think I've chosen to fly presenting as female, especially given the current opinion coming from DC. Tom Petty sang about how he "Won't Back Down" and if I give in to political pressure, I've released the autonomy over my life. We can't give up. 

What a bunch of blabbing up there! I'm all over the place. We'll see if I have the mental capacity to proofread it or will I just hit publish? (I'm guessing "publish.") (Nope, still scattered but did some editing.)

We can't give up. 

Here's a photo of the Goldfield, NV firehouse and their antique fire engine, taken 8/7/22. My kids and I went to Hot August Nights in Reno back in 2022 and when we passed through Goldfield, the annual Goldfield Days event was wrapping up. This trip was the first "going away" trip where Heather went without a way to chicken out and wear male clothes. I'm sure I've told the tale in this forum. It was the beginning of the best next chapter (current chapter) of my life and why I twice said "we can't give up."

Regarding my upcoming trip and the hopes for Heather time, I already have plans to see friends in Southeastern New Hampshire in boy mode and I would like to visit places like Salem and Salisbury, Mass or maybe Hampton, NH. I do have two swimsuits! These thoughts stirred the pot of ideas, now I'm looking into staying a night out there so I can have a day to myself. It would save lots of driving. I'll talk to my sister. 

Every one of us is living a life. Whether you're conforming or nonconforming with societal norms, we all lose if the bullies win. 

I'll update y'all on what happens in the next episode of "As the Heather Turns."

Thanks for reading my goofy page. I hope it's entertaining.

Heather

Could you?

Hola~

Is it possible to just be? To not need to think out everything before doing it?

Could you do this?

Answering any of these with a "no" reply is okay if it fits your place in life. I can't expect anyone to do something that's beyond their safety zone. It took me 56 years to live and work as Heather on a daily basis and in public. I think many of us are a bit worried about the future of our civil rights. I have no interest in going back in the closet.

Early in the process of my current personal revolution, I would be getting ready to do whichever mundane public chore I'd given myself and I'd get myself worked up, anxious about the contradicting internal voices telling me why I should or should not go out in my chosen wardrobe. I can't say that these thoughts have fully left. Prepping for work reveals the strength Heather has over the rest of my existence. Showering and that part of the routine is rough. I just don't want to go to work. I'm old and cranky and the ridiculousness of modern life is a harsh opponent. Alas, Heather's got this. Once she realizes it's better than the lousy job we had before this the task of getting ready is easier. She remembers that she's working at a nothing job that pays well, a job that isn't physically or mentally challenging. On top of all this... Heather looks fabulous while working. Could you do this? 

Our world has made daily life pretty stressful. The pressures to not become a target, to maintain the confidence to move forward or earn a living can be overwhelming but becoming Heather on a daily basis is all that I need to motivate me. I have safety at work, so far. As long as I can remain employed there until I'm eligible for Medicare for me and my spouse, we should be okay.

Travel is coming.

Could you comfortably travel by plane in 2025 as a transgendered person? Would you feel safe going through a security checkpoint with an ID that doesn't conform with your presentation? In the past I've done it without any issue but there wasn't the level of hostility toward members of certain parts of the LGBTQ community that's reared its ugly head since January. I don't know what I'm going to do. In a few weeks I go to New England for a long weekend. I think this will be the trip where I tell my sister and her husband about Heather's full-time existence. On one of my previous trips, Dad met Heather but he doesn't usually remember things five minutes after he was told. My sister has seen Heather's Halloween photos but never in person. I think the time is right to be open with her. Flying from Vegas as Heather will be easy, I think. Connecticut still has LGBTQ safeguards, too. It shouldn't be an issue. But those darned "what if's" are always there. 

Will Heather be flying in August? Will my sister learn that after nearly 60 years she's got a younger sister?

I am almost certain I'll be flying as Heather and I feel the need to tell my sister about my reality. Coming out to everyone is one of my life goals for 2025. I'll share the results of these choices after my return.

The only awkward thing will be getting to the airport and her seeing me dressed without knowing first.  I still have to reconcile this. I can stop in a restroom before getting to baggage claim and do a quick change.

This composition has taken me about three days to build. Time to hit "publish" and think about the next installment.

Photo by Heather D. Waters, copyright 2022.

Have a good week.

Chat later,

Heather

Clothes make the ma'am!

Hi!

It's late on July 2.

In the past I've told the tale of buying from a nearby auction company that's selling Amazon and other retailer returns. One of the most recent items I bought was an Exquisite Form "long line bra" size 46C in beige. I laundered it and gave it a test fit last week. I was pleasantly surprised by how it looked when I tried it on. Years ago I did a fifties look for Halloween with a variation of the Poodle Skirt where my skirt had a stylized cat on it. I tried to find the perfect bra to wear for my desired look under my white top but never found something that gave me a bullet bra effect.  I found the desired look in this bra. When I realized that I had a very pointy look from this bra, I wished it was winter so I could find a pullover sweater and look like a plump "sweater girl."

The funny thing about this bra is that I've had the same model bra in black for about three years and only wore it a handful of time. I never could accept the look it gave me.  But with this new one, I figured out that if I wear smaller breast forms like a letter D instead of the letter G, the perfect look. After trying the new one I tried the old one and it gave the same shape! 

 exquisiteform.com 

On their site, it sells for $28 plus tax, title and registration. Full disclosure, the bra I bought three years ago was bought from the reselling auction company for $1 plus tax and fees so I think the total purchase price was a whopping $1.25. The Beige one like the photo cost me $2.50 after fees two weeks ago.  We also have to add in the expense of driving 140 miles round trip with the fuel and nearly 3 hours of my life spent getting there and back. When I make this trip, I nearly always will be doing something else like seeing my kids or making a Costco run.

My review of this product is a full five stars of satisfaction.

Take care and live your life to the fullest!

Heather

Do the things that will please you! Get your nails done.

Nails! 

I believe that if you want to get a manicure and fake nails applied, just do it. Before I had them done professionally, I'd paint my nails on a Friday night and just go about my business all weekend. In boy mode or not, I'd usually have some color on my nails in the house and out on the town or shopping. 

I'm nearly sixty years old. If people have a problem with my decisions and choices, too bad! They're not living my life, responsible for my expenses or working my job.

Get. Your. Nails. Done!

If you want to have your brows waxed, do it. You want earrings? I did. I had each ear pierced with three holes. Two have closed on each side due to lack of use... But I wear something every weekday in my ears. It helps with my female presentation. You've gotta give the visual cues about who you are!

None of us are getting any younger.  Don't get to the end of the journey and feel like you've let your real self down because you're not being authentic to yourself.

The red manicure is from last October when I was dressing as Marilyn for Halloween. This was the first time I'd had acrylics done. I haven't stopped getting them done since!

This was the polish I chose for December. I picked a similar polish with bolder glitter for February.

These photos are my current style. Green "Cats Eyes." It's a 3D effect that looks pretty terrific! It's only Monday and I was dealing with the public for just a short time and I had two consecutive customers gush over my nails!

My ruler showing that my nails are about 1/4" long.  I went a week ago Saturday and you can see how much they've grown out. I think I prefer them rounder like the red instead of the squircle style of the green.

This last photo is from a trip my kids and I took to Reno's "Hot August Nights" car event back in 2022. We stopped in Goldfield, NV to visit the "International Car Forest of the Last Church."

InternationalCarForestoftheLastChurch 

(Hope the link works!) If it doesn't, it's a dot com...

On this trip, I brought exclusively female clothes for the weekend. No backup plan. No way to chicken out. It was before I was "out" at work.  I had a pair of women's shorts that I decided to wear under one dress that I discovered was shorter than I'd expected. But the entire weekend in public was spent as Heather.  It was the beginning of her liberation.

Really, go out and live your best life! You probably won't regret anything and if you do, you'll have quite the tale to tell afterward.

I rarely post actual photos of me! I guess I picked a photo that matters for the last day of Pride Month, 20205. Yeah, the whole blog has my mug on it... I know.

Have a great week.

Heather