Marilyn! Halloween 25 or was it 24? Life stuff, too.

 

Hey, that's me in my Marilyn dress!

Greetings! 

Another day in the life.

Yesterday was October 31, a state holiday in Nevada. No work but don't worry, I get to wear a dress to work any day I choose and Thursday was no exception. The above photo is from Halloween 2024, me in all my glory as Marilyn wearing the "iconic" dress. I have worn the blonde wig before and just don't like how I look as a blonde. My birth hair color was brown but 60 years of life has washed much of the color out and now I'm becoming greyer every day. My chosen color is a red/auburn which I've been told works well with my eyes and skintone and I really love it.

Back to Friday's events... We had city errands: pick up spouse's eyeglasses from optician, collect auction items and my spouse had an initial visit with a podiatrist. As usual, I chose to stress out over how to present myself. I didn't want to look like a caricature or seem like I was a cis male wearing a costume. I had an idea of how I'd wanted to look. I wanted to be a bit over the top. I was considering the Marilyn dress since my kids never saw me in it and one of them bought it for me! I was worried that wearing a white dress for an entire day, in public, doing "who knows what" probably wasn't going to be a smart idea.  I settled on my 3 years ago Halloween dress, blue with white polka dots. I really love how it looks on me and it is one of the dresses I've voted in. I go all out. Nylons, sensible heels, lacy slip, blue dotted dress and my new wig.  and now she's with overdressed Heather in public. My spouse was wearing a sleeveless top and shorts while I'm all dolled up. I had talked with her about wanting to be a bit over the top and she was okay with the idea and presentation. 

Photo from 2022: Me after voting in the mid-term election. I really love this dress. This is what I wore Thursday to work and all day Friday. 

 

Out we go, I realize we need to put fuel in the van. I'm way overdressed to be pumping gas in my dress and heels but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! Off to auction pickup, been there a zillion times before without any incident but holy cow there were so many cars lined up. People in their cars getting their stuff! Off to the eye doctor. We're now a couple hours from the house, my body was sending me messages about the coffee I'd had earlier. Spouse goes in, returns with new glasses. I said, "Time for me to break my own rule." I go in and say "Hi, I'm with her. It's a long drive. I'd like to use the restroom." No big deal. I don't think the two women recognized their customer of 30 years. I've never been to this office fully dressed up. I almost always wear a bra and breast forms and my tee shirt doesn't hide those facts but I've always presented myself in boy-mode. The doctor is a bishop in his conservative church but he comes across as an open-minded and accepting person. I didn't see him or his daughter, the other doctor in the practice in the office. She seems even more open-minded. If I didn't know better, based on things she's said in the past I'd think she has a female life partner but have neither proof nor evidence to back up my belief.

Off to the main event: podiatrist. New doctors stress her out. Along the way, we stop at a drive-thru for 2 burger combo meals and eat in the doctor's parking lot. Sheesh, what used to be a $4.89 meal is now twice as much...  I remember hearing some hollow promise about "on day one..."

Appointment time arrives, we go inside, check in, paperwork, ID & insurance, co-pay and wait a short time. It was a bit of a bland waiting room but not unwelcoming. The assistant calls us back to an exam room and we again wait a short time. Doc comes in... What a great bedside manner! He had us laughing, Spouse had him laughing, I had us laughing. We talked about her condition and my existence and our living in a conservative small town and my existence... He said he was glad that I chose to live authentically and be out while working with the public. I told him how I've been out for three years, that it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

My guess was that my spouse had Plantar Warts, Doc complimented my diagnostic skills but said I was wrong like many of the GP's who send patients to him.  She has Plantar Fasciitis. He requested x-rays, recommended a course of action and we have a follow up in a month. I might make an appointment for him to look at my feet issues at the same time. It was a great experience for us.

She had conned herself into thinking that there was no stress in seeing a new doctor but when she got to the car, admitted to feeling anxiety before meeting the Doc. Later realizing the stress was totally unnecessary. My stress about Heather meeting a doctor or needing to use a public restroom was also unnecessary.

After the doctor we went across the city for the third time to visit my kids and their Mom. My youngest had made spaghetti earlier in the week and that was dinner. Good call not wearing Marilyn!

We left home at about 11:15 am and returned home about 12 hours later. For her to be out of the house for twelve hours is a rare thing! What a wonderful day out.

Keep this in mind, don't let a fear of others become a barrier to how you live your life. Live for you. What others might think about me can't dictate my happiness. Yep, there might be a small group of people throwing lots of hostility toward our sisters and brothers but I believe most people are accepting of us and/or won't even notice that they just interacted with a transgender person.

Have a great November! 

Thanks for visiting.

Heather

Regarding coming out...

I think I've discovered freedom. I don't have to hide. I don't have to feel like a part of me is locked away. I feel that a weight has been lifted from my back. Has that weight been replaced by breast forms on my chest?   I'm happier. I feel better about myself.  Sure, there are times when life irritates me. This is 2023, our world is still filled with people who are intolerant but how we navigate our daily lives is really what defines us and what defines trans people in the eyes of others. Aside from 2/3 of my kids and ex wife, I still have not come out to any of my other family members. Mom probably suspects since she's seen me in person and I always share photos of my exploits at drag queen bingo and Halloween.  Dad won't remember what I told him five minutes ago.  Also, I haven't come out on Facebook.  I'm thinking it may be time to do that on October 11.  It'll be iconic to do so on National Coming Out Day.

I saw a friend Wednesday for the first time in at least a year. Debbie jumped right on the correct pronouns. I was thrilled! It felt good to see someone you've known for years and be accepted. Again, how we're perceived in the eyes of others...  My presentation isn't perfect. I wear the best clothing I can get and afford. I know I need to work on my makeup skills. My hair sometimes looks like I've run a marathon. It's life, what do we do? 

It's still 2023 and only yesterday a person replied to me on Facebook using a derogatory slur often implying a gay male. The offending character's Facebook profile shows how "they kneel for the cross" and also "stand with trump." I'm neither a gay male nor am I, using the British meaning, a bundle of sticks. I'm married and have three kids. Not to imply that gay men have never married women or fathered children but lumping any person into a category just to insult them is simply ignorant.  The brilliant Facebook user also shows his employer in his Facebook profile and whether it helps me or not I messaged that employer with links to the comments made by their employee and screenshots to support the link in case they're pulled by Facebook. Just another day, 2023.

Last week, I had another "first."  I went to a doctor as Heather. Not my primary doctor, it was a first visit to an ENT.  Backstory: a couple years ago I'd started seeing an ENT and had been told to come back after getting my blood pressure under control.  It took a few months to get into my primary doctor, change meds and find the right prescription after discovering a side effect of the first drug. Late last year we got a message from that first ENT that they're retiring and I'd need to find a different doctor. So we waited until my annual visit with my primary doctor and got a referral to this new one. Yay, starting over. So I went to this doctor last week.  I decided that since there's a clean slate, she's going to see the real me.  I check-in, fill out forms, wait and wait some more... They call me to the back, my wife and I go through the door and sit... A few minutes later the doctor comes out and calls my "other" name but doesn't realize that the woman in a pink cap, black skort and well filled tee shirt who had replied is the guy she's calling.  It took her a couple seconds for it to click.  She asked a couple questions about whether I'd had any medical changes done, drugs or hormones and asked if this was real or a gag.  I explained that it's real and I'm happy.   She was cool with my answer and the first visit was perfectly pleasant and welcoming.  Again, starting over.  I have a deviated septum, serious blockage in my nasal cavities (70 & 80% blocked), sleep apnea, probable allergies to cats and dogs, recommended a sleep study and nasal sprays and follow-ups.  Before this, the closest I've been to seeing a doctor as Heather was last November when we went to a specialist for my wife's edema.  I was dressed androgynously: leggings, tee-shirt and smaller breast forms.  

Have a great Friday and an amazing weekend!

Heather

Another day in the books.

Hi everyone!

My wife and I used to be responsible for a huge part of the "operation" with the volunteer group. There are many people involved with the group in 2023 and the two of us have taken different roles. In the past, each of us would regularly have direct interaction with the people using our group's services, again lots of volunteers so we're doing other things.

We went to the city yesterday. My wife had a follow-up dental visit and I had prescriptions to be filled and some ready to collect that had been ordered from the wrong pharmacy.  I wore a black skort, black lace bra with my biggest breast forms and a white vee necked tee shirt to take care of all of our business while she was being attended to by the dentist. Everything went well.

Yesterday, there were other events happening for the group and my wife and I were called in to do what we used to do on a weekly basis. After we got home from our visit to the city, we had a couple of hours to kill and then went out.  I changed my shirt so I wouldn't soil it, changing it to my regular pre-stained volunteering shirt. It was a good day. When we got there, the driver was already there and another volunteer too. It really would have been better if the volunteer guy had stayed home, he created more of a hassle than was necessary. Loud. abrasive and much like a bull in the china shop when we needed calm. One lady who received help from our group had been helped in the past and I remembered her from that previous visit and I see her regularly at my "real" job. She addressed me as "Miss." Woo hoo!

I've interacted with so many people in many different ways over the last few days. I'm so much more comfortable in life as Heather than any other way. This has been one of the best life decisions that I've ever made. 

Just another day in the life, I guess.

Heather.

The weekend is here. Lots of plans.

 Hello everyone!

Welcome to Saturday.

Thursday afternoon I get a text from my youngest kid. "Pirate Fest" is happening this weekend!

I reply, "Yay!💥, Seriously?"

Other kid replies, "Indeed."

Me, "Who approved that? I'm interested but have to think about it."

In reality, there is no thinking about spending two whole days out and about in public as Heather. It's more about making sure that I don't really have other obligations or "must do" tasks planned.

Oldest says, "I thought it was in April, I'm glad I looked."

Me, "Highland Games are in April."

Youngest, "Is pirate fest AND drag queen bingo doable?"

Me, "I can pirate on Saturday and bingo Sunday."

Youngest, "That would be lovely if we can, I wanna dress up in my hand made costume."

Me, "Sounds perfect."

So, after working FIFTY hours per week almost every week for months and not really getting many days to really sit and relax, I'm going to have a great day out. Last year's Pirate Fest was the first "big" event held during the pandemic era and I imagine this year will be even bigger.  I think we've been to Pirate Fest three times in the past.  It's just a fun day out.

I'm looking forward to being out today, the weather is supposed to be sunny and warm.  I promise to wear sunblock, drink plenty of water and have a good day.

Have a great weekend

Heather!

Bingo?

 A friend is associated with a non-profit group. The non-profit is joining a couple of other non-profits to hold a fundraiser. It will be a drag queen bingo event. The friend asked me today if I'm going and will I dress up for bingo?

I'm interested in going and haven't thought about dressing up. Hmmm.

That could be fun.

Wow.

Thirty bucks a pop to attend. It could be worth it.