Group! Outreach! LGBTQIA community. Get in the circle.

 Hi!

I went last night. It surely pushed some buttons for me. Will I go back? Yes. The trek is about 70 miles each way and it happens each Friday evening. Three hours driving after working a truncated shift of 6.5 hours. I left work at 3:30pm, drove home, added snack/water/ice blocks and stuff to my cooler bag, switched cars and started driving. I had one stop to make along the way, fighting rush hour traffic I get to the home of my kids. Gasoline and time add up.

The experience was good. There were people of all ages and identities in attendance. They said that the attendance was probably more than they'd had ever before?!? That's good news. Did I learn anything? I can't say that I did but the messages affirmed what I've been saying. "Live for yourself." Take care of yourself." 

Like many groups, I saw that there were people who weren't the facilitators but wanted to speak. Hopefully they aren't the kind of people who need to be the center of attention. 

After group, the building was to close at 8:00pm and we all went outside to mingle and chat. I did feel old though. It was nice to be social but I didn't really chat with people close to my age. I'm so socially awkward and uncomfortable in new situations.

The other offspring went grocery shopping with her mom while we went to the meeting. Dinner was supposed to be ready when we returned but the shopping took more time than expected. They wanted us to buy dinner and bring it back to the house. Sub sandwiches was the choice. We go to the sub shop which is half way between the facility and their house. CLOSED! No subs, too late. We call the oldest and break the news, she was upset. We suggest pizza from a place in the same parking lot. Oldest says, "you know what I like..." We move the car and realize that about 15 people we had just been with were enjoying pizza. We order, hang out, chat and then the pizza was ready.

Back to the house we go... Grumpy oldest kid sulks into the kitchen. We set the table, call their mom in for dinner and break into the pizza and garlic bread. OMG, it was SO good! Oldest was stuffing her face and I saw a bit of a grin emerge... I pointed it out and the grump was gone.

Overall, it was a nice night and quite interesting.

Heather. 

Big step Friday. Another FIRST.*

 Hello everyone,

Tonight, I'm going to a support group meet up with my youngest kid. I've known about the place for years and have recommended them to attend. We wanted to go but never had it happen. Tomorrow night will be my first visit and the offspring's third visit. I took off from work a bit early so I can make the trek into the city. Apparently there are people ranging in age from about 16 to around my age. I'm excited to see how this works and of course I'll share the experience.

* Full disclosure,.. Yeah, back in the late nineties I went to a couple Tri ESS meetings.  One or two at a private home and one at a LGBTQIA bar. I don't remember much about them, I just remember being uncomfortable. The gurls were nice and friendly enough but I was way out of my element and out of place since I was probably at least 20 years younger than everyone else in attendance. Most of the gurls in attendance were probably my current age... nearly 30 years ago. I think the chapter head was Michelle.  Does Tri Ess still exist? I haven't looked for them in a bunch of years. Yes... triess.org still is there. Looking at the Tri Ess website and a basic internet search doesn't show a southern Nevada chapter. We always need community and sisterhood. Hopefully the world will remember that we're all people and stop treating us like monsters.

A coworker was talking about gender issues with me. You can tell she watches fox news, unfortunate as it is because she mentions the hot button topics that are usually in the news: Sports, Bathrooms, the advantage some transgender folks supposedly enjoy in society. I remind her that our population is a relatively small percentage of overall society and that we sometimes just need to pee but hostilities against our sisters both cisgender, transgender and non-binary have made it unsafe to use a toilet. I've also told her that we don't choose to endure the stress of feeling like we're in the wrong body. It would really be much easier if people could just exist without being judged.

Living in society is easy most of the time as Heather. The hardest part is getting past my own barriers and silencing the voices in my head that echo the things we were taught as kids. "Boys don't do that." "That's only for girls." "What will people say?" "What will they think?" "I've lived here my whole life, what will our neighbors say about us?" At 59.5 years old, I no longer care about any of those questions. I can tell you directly that my neighbor to the east will hate Heather because of the political sign that's still in front of his house nearly 8 months after an election. I'm here. I will not go back and cower in the closet. I will continue to live my live and I might have a TACO.

have a great Friday! 

Heather

From the desk of Heather...

 Hello

Tuesday afternoon was our annual visit with the GP. No, I didn't have "the talk" with her. The office was too chaotic. I will eventually do so. The doctor wants tests on my thyroid.  Nothing too scary. The 240 pound bear in the room was me going to this visit after working 4 hours at the office. The only changes I made in the time between work and doctor was a soft bra instead of the underwire and a  different size/shape breast form. The younger female nurse gushed over my nails, like always and neither the doctor, her son/receptionist and the "right hand man" male nurse reacted to my appearance. My spouse said the doctor looked puzzled when she held the stethoscope to my chest, listening to my heartbeat and felt the incline of the breast form. 

One of my "resolutions" for 2025 was to be out to everyone. I don't know if I'm truly comfortable being out to everyone but I'm intending to reduce the number of people who don't know about Heather. Two and a half years living openly as a woman and going to work 5 days per week in my conservative town has made Heather rather comfortable in her existence even with the current hostile political climate. THAT is part of why I'm wanting to be out to almost everyone. I refuse to go back into the closet. My clothes aren't hurting anyone. My existence isn't hurting anyone. I hope we can all stand together and fight the oppression that the tiny thumb is trying to illegally exert on our communities. 

Go out and live your best life! I am, every day. I hope you do, too.

I still worry about going out in my clothes (heck, in today's world nothing is safe... right?) but I don't ever want to change back to living a drab existence.

Thanks for visiting...

Heather

Monday, Memorial Day 2025. Never forget.

 Hi. 

We often are reminded that this is the "unofficial start of summer" and the day that it becomes socially accepted to wear white in public but don't forget the sacrifices of the men and women who have given their lives in service in the name of freedom and liberty.

May their sacrifices never be forgotten or be in vain.

Freedom and liberty are for all. We must remember that fact.

Please don't allow someone force an opinion on you about the freedoms Americans enjoy and how we must restrict the freedom of expression or rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" because they disagree with my existence. I'm here. The years of anguish about wanting to no longer be "him" are behind me. I live comfortably as Heather every day. I'm proud to contribute to society and pay my way along the path. 59 years old, I refuse to go back to the closet. 

Friends, stand firmly for your principles.

Heather

ps, May and June are the end of our medical calendar year. Annual GP visit, eye doctor and a couple other appointments before the end of June. Yay!

Tomorrow afternoon is the GP visit. She's in her late-sixties and a conservative Filipino Catholic that we've been seeing for nearly 20 years. She's seen me dressed authentically one time but I brushed it off as a gag. But since that time, for every visit I've had my nails "done" and haven't hidden them from anyone in her office. I think that the initial surprise has worn off and since I'm working a half shift and we'll be driving to the city after lunch, I don't intend to change my clothes. I think I might have "the talk" with her and ask about what my next steps will be.

I'll keep ya posted!

May 25, 2025. A month post (successful) surgery.

 Hi everyone,

It's been a month... Yes, the deviated septum surgery happened on 4/28. I've been to all of the follow up visits. My doctor said that every part of the surgery was perfect and my recovery went great. I can breathe better.

I've been just living every day to the fullest. Go to work. Go home. Work. Home. Wash, rinse, repeat...

Until...

Today!

Our friend had invited us to a barbecue at her Stepmom's house. We went last year and had a lovely time. d food. Good company and a good time.  We were invited again, of course. Our trip this year, I decided to stress myself out. I had bought a new swimsuit last summer after her BBQ. Yesterday I told my spouse that I wanted to wear my new swimsuit triggering HER anxiety. The swimsuit in question is a nice, fairly modest, black one-piece woman's suit. I wore my "C" breast forms in the suit with a bright pink woman's tee shirt and my black skort and I have a wide brimmed hat to keep the sun off my body when in the pool and a ball cap given to me from our friend.  the only thing I wasn't bringing was hair. As we were getting set to go, our friend called and asked if we could bring baguette and salad dressing. Sure thing! But it meant making a stop at a grocery store. I haven't been out in public without red hair in a long time but there was the wide brim hat. The shopping trip was uneventful.

So off to the BBQ...I knew that there would be a couple of other people today. Everyone has seen Heather except the nice lady who owns the house and pool. Public events, yup. Drag Queen Bingo, heck yeah! Trunk or treat, a couple of times but I've never been in a social setting at a friend's house as Heather. I figured I'd dressed in a reasonably subtle manner. Without really looking, the black skort looks like shorts and nothing is obvious about the tee shirt being sold in the woman's department. Well... I do have bright red nails! Not subtle at all.  The day was fun and mostly uneventful. Apparently, one of our friends is no longer single and her "plus one" might support a candidate who is not "my cup of tea." I've seen Mr. Plus One at my office so there's no surprise that I'd choose to wear what I did. There was advise about not broaching certain topics around him... I'm already daring to wear the correct clothing for me; I'm not pushing another set of limits. Everyone engaged in pleasant conversation and there were some cornhole games played. Our friend and I won our first (my only) game...not to brag... We ate. Played. Talked. People started taking off. We were down to the core four but alas we didn't swim. Our friend only wore the top of her swimsuit under her street clothes and I completely forgot a towel. Our hostess invited us over to swim any time we wish...

At the end of the day, nobody said anything about my choice of attire at least in my presence.

I was so worried. It stressed my wife to the max.  

Hey, thanks for checking in! Sorry about the rambling nature of this update.

Heather

I even had three cups of sangria!

Tuesday evening.

 Hi again,

Sunday dinner went well. It was just the kids, their Mom and her newish husband and me.

Didn't see the former brother-in-law or his wife, I heard, "They were tired." We had a great dinner and spent lots of time chatting. 

I learned that my son's wife is in town with her parents to care for one of their sets of parents. Next weekend is the annual Pirate Fest in Vegas. Of course we are going and we're going to invite an additional guest! She's never experienced seeing me dressed. We'll see if she's willing to attend.

The niece of one of my co-workers was diagnosed a year ago with breast cancer. The niece is not doing well and the sickness is very aggressive, her prognosis is not good. I told my friend that his is exactly why I had to stop hiding my true self. (this is the woman who inspired me to "look pretty" for the office holiday photo.) Life is too short. Everyone needs to find the things that bring them joy and satisfaction.

Take care of yourself,

Heather

Easter! Sunday Best...

Hi!

Although I'm non-practicing, tomorrow's Easter. My oldest texted and invited us to dinner tomorrow evening. I'm thinking I'll go. Will my spouse go? Probably not but the door is open. There is a possibility that my ex-brother-in-law will be there with his wife. The last time I saw them was years ago, I had a subtle nail polish and I don't know if they noticed and don't care if they did.

Heather isn't staying home. I know I'm more welcome at my ex's house than they are! 

Being Easter Sunday, I'm thinking I'll wear my blue polka-dot dress. 

I think it will be fun. They're an interesting couple. really uptight and non-practicing Catholics. 

It will be nice to get to see my kids. I've been trying to not drive in to the city after the last couple of weeks, I had doctor visits and things to do almost every other day. It's about 150 miles, round trip and it gets expensive. Luckily, I don't mind driving.

I'll post an update after.... wait for it... after my doctor visit on Monday!

Yeah, I'm getting the rest of my nasal surgery done and this will be the pre-op visit and another series of tests to be sure I'm strong and healthy enough for surgery on 4/28 and so it goes.

Chat later.

Thanks for visiting.

Heather

TDOV, Visibility, publicity, awareness, social media and the flaws associated with it.

Hi again.

I've noticed that Facebook has been showing me lots of pages promoting the upcoming Transgender Day of Visibility on March 31. 

Hmm. I didn't see any of these social media posts last week when March 31 was actually a thing that was upcoming. Truthfully, I didn't post anything about TDoV on Facebook this year but in the past few weeks I've liked and followed a few LGBTQ friendly pages and also some pages directed toward trans women.

I have accounts on a number of social media sites. Of course with technology, if you visit a topic... every portion of your computer or handheld device knows where you've been and will immediately suggest that topic.  On my facebook page, I posted a screenshot of the financial market indices and the advertisement was for Rago shapewear. 

I wonder what the people from my family, high school friends, acquaintances from former jobs and people I've encountered in life thought when there were lingerie ads in my screenshot. 

I question what the ulterior motive is.of social media. Of course, these billion dollar companies are trying to get your eyes on to their chosen topic and information. 

Time to be off.

Have a great weekend!

Heather.

Visiblility. Life. Family.

 

These colors don't run!

Good morning,

Monday was the big day. Much of world honored Transgender Day of Visibility and I was visible. I genuinely hope you were able to be out in the world as your true self. I worked a full day at the office and I wore a favorite dress. I haven't worn a dress to work possibly since my dressing as Marilyn Monroe on Halloween. The day was uneventful. A few co-workers called my dress cute.

The plan had been to take the kids out for dinner after work, they would be leaving the gym and head to the restaurant after. We spoke with the kids, chose a restaurant that agreed with everyone's dietary needs and restrictions, drove into Vegas and shared a couple of hours of pleasant company.  The place we picked is called Greens and Proteins. https://www.greensandproteins.com/ It has a menu that has meat and non-meat items. The kids had never been to this place but seemed to like it for a number of reasons. It's near their gym and it's very close to their Mom's second house. 

We had a nice time. The restaurant wasn't too busy, it was a Monday, but there was a steady stream of patrons getting to-go orders and sitting to eat. The "me" part of the experience was fine. I never felt uncomfortable or threatened or unwelcome. I think that most people are just not worried about other people trying to live their lives. On the way home, we stopped off at McDonalds for a McFlurry and milkshake. Meh.

And that's how I spent my summer vacation... LOL.

Nah, that's actually how I spent Transgender Day of Visibility.

Heather

ps. I hope you had a way to present your real self this past Monday. Going out is important. We need to prove that we're not the monsters we're portrayed to be by certain people. We have always existed and as I said in the first sentence, these colors don't run.

Monday. March 31, 2025. Transgender Day of Visibility is here.

Hi,

First of all, why are you here reading this when it's Transgender Day of Visibility? Aren't y'all supposed to be out doing things to be visible?

Technically, it's 10:10 pm pacific time here so it's really TDOV eve... but you know what I mean.

Yesterday was nail day. I got a cat's eye look in a shimmery grey. I'll try to post a photo in the near future. Kids and I went to Ulta Cosmetics, Sprouts, Costco, WinCo supermarket, youngest collected auction items while oldest and I were at the nail salon and another supermarket and then we returned to their house. It was a great day. The nail salon was awesome, as always. The staff loves my kids and by association... me. It's like when I've gone to the cardiologist, welcoming me like an old friend.

Monday will bring 8 hours of work and then my spouse and I are off to dinner with the kids. I'm SO looking forward to this.

It's after ten and I'm working tomorrow. Time to get my dress ready! Did I mention that it's going to be windy in Southern Nevada tomorrow? Fun times!

Have a great day. Go out and be visible!

Heather

Nail day!

 Good morning,

Since October I've been getting my nails done about once a month. Today is the day for the tech to fill and change my color. I have a few ideas of what I'd like for my new color. I haven't gotten a pattern or design on them nor have I done the thing with different colors on each nail and don't think I'm heading in either of those directions. I'd like to get the look of a fire opal where you get the illusion of multiple colors based on how you're looking at it. I don't know if my chosen salon has that as an option. 

I told a coworker that I've started calling the hair under my preferred cut and color my "fake hair." Rarely does anyone in "the real world" see it so it's really a fake presentation when I'm in boy mode. Today's the day to get a fake haircut, too! I usually go to a budget chain salon, Great Clips for this. I generally go in boy mode but I'm thinking of mixing it up today. I only have a short time to decide. Which outfit? I'll figure it out and tell about it tomorrow. The boy mode ends as soon as I see my kids. Heather will spend the rest of the day out and about. Aften getting done up, it'll be off to grocery stores and Costco! 

Ahh, the life of a modern gurl!

Have a great weekend, Chat later!

Heather

ps. The nails have to make the right statement because I'm going to the dentist next week and I know it'll trigger a response from him.

A quick Good Morning to all!

 Hello and Good Morning!

Wednesday, March 26. Just a few days until Transgender Day of Visibility!

I have contacted my kids and we're have solid plans to get dinner in Vegas Monday night! My kids, spouse and I enjoy Mediterranean food and we discovered a place that's not hard to get to for the kids and us. I'm thinking about wearing a favorite dress and sandals. I'm really looking forward to this. Thinking back to the times before "outing" myself at work full time, I'd always wanted to do something special on Transgender Day of Visibility but never managed to make it happen.

We all have to remember to be the best person for ourselves because if we don't speak out for ourselves, nobody else will. I keep seeing things online stating that the number of LGBTQIA+ people are increasing every year. I think the percentage has remained the same but we're tired of living in the closet and made the decision to live openly and honestly! I am happier today with myself than I was three years ago because I present the real me every day.

I'm thinking that my spouse and I will be taking a short vacation in the near future. Nothing too far away. I just need time away from home and work. I need an adventure! It'll be like the Reno trip with my kids a few years ago. I won't bring any "male" clothing, no way to hide or back out, a full time Heather on the road!

Okay, time to get myself dolled up for work.

Happy Wednesday!

Thanks for stopping in.

I repeated the January 7 incident with another person!

I don't remember exactly when this second thing happened but it was a great interaction.

I was stationed at the front desk of our office and two people came in... Clearly a Mom and their offspring... The younger person looked a bit uncomfortable. Mom did most of the talking. I asked my usual questions to determine why they were there that day. After a few minutes the younger person asked if I was trans. It isn't often that someone comes out and asks me and I generally won't/don't reply but since the young person was in a place I understood, I acknowledged her question and replied yes! I checked them in and they stayed at the window chatting with me for a few minutes. Mom asked if I knew any support groups in town and my immediate response was no... I mentioned a couple of places that probably would be able to help the young woman navigate our conservative town. After a few minutes, someone came in and they took a seat, waiting for assistance. I thought about the support group question... remembering that there is an all inclusive LGBTQIA group. I had to share the information and went to where they were sitting and said to look up the person and I'd met them a few years back, seems nice.

They get called. A short time later I take my break and they're close to the conference room. I stop and chat (it's probably completely inappropriate for me to talk about such issues at work) but Mom asked how long I have been out at work, how accepted I am by the public and if I feel safe. I told her my opinion, "most people are decent but there are people who know nothing more than how to be jerks." I also said that it's important to be yourself even when it's hard to do it.

I genuinely think that I had a very positive impact on their day. I still feel that being a good role model is key. I think I represent transgender folks in a very positive manner. Some days I have many interactions with the public and multiple days in a row... Some people are pretty awesome, just like the people you'd want to know are your neighbors. 

Two posts in one day! What's up with that??

This story popped into my mind and I didn't want to let it fade away.

Remember to be visible! Make your plans, Transgender Day of Visibility is a week away!

Thanks for spending the time to read this.

Heather

3/23/25 one week away from TDOV. Stand up to tyranny!

 Howdy!

We're a week away from Transgender Day Of Visibility. I've heard of places promoting TDOV on Saturday, March 29, 2025. 

https://www.middletownct.gov/1451/Transgender-Day-of-Visibility-2025 

I'm working next Monday. I'll be visible to the public and am hoping to wear a favorite dress. After work, I'm hoping we'll get dinner out with my kids. It'll be worth the ridiculous drive.

If you're in a place where it's safe to do, go out and be visible. I have steeled my resolve to not let the haters win! I've continued going about my business wearing what I choose. Friday morning I had the pleasure of getting a cardiac stress test. This happened at the same office that previously had welcomed me as an old friend on my second visit. I wore the same clothes I've worn to work numerous times, sports bra, panties, black under shirt, jeans and lovely blouse. The people were terrific. I've never told them to call me anything other than my birth name but present fully as Heather at every visit. On Friday's visit, I did something that's totally out of my normal: I engaged people... including total strangers. Part of the stress test included injecting a radioactive element into my bloodstream so they can track heart function before and after exercise. After the injection, my spouse texted me that she had to stay outside since I was "radioactive." Of course it led me to find the rock song from the '80's "Radioactive" by The Firm. I played it on my phone while waiting... A member of the staff walks by the waiting room and says to the technician who'd injected me, "I feel heat" and I quipped that it was me since "I'm radioactive." She laughed. We started talking about the song and I showed her that I was just watching the video... She loves that song...  Another patient comes into the waiting room... The staff lady had a strong NYC accent and I told her that we're from the same region. Me Mass and her Long Island and find out the new arrival to the waiting room was from Indiana. We chatted about liking the desert over cold weather... It felt good.

Yesterday, my spouse and I were going through our rarely worn clothes pile and I found a bunch of garments I'd forgotten about. One was a lavender "body-con" dress with high/low hem. I'm wearing it right now! Someone, who is married to me, is uncomfortable with how short the front is but I love it. The low hem at the back is almost too long in my opinion, almost maxi-dress length. I feel as though I'm either dragging it or will step on it even with my 2.5" heels on. But it looks terrific on me.

With the rarely worn clothing, we're going to sort the stuff out for selling online, selling locally, donation and tossing out. I have a pretty good collection of clothes that I'd bought prior to "coming out" and thought I'd never have a chance to wear outside the house. Time passes and we forget that those things exist... It makes me wonder what else I've bought and forgot!

I'm a transgender person. I have told many people that I cannot put this part of me back into a box. I will stand beside my transgender sisters and brother and any/all nonbinary people or those on the LGBTQIA spectrum against the current government leaders trying to erase all mention of us. I don't care what they do because I'm here and they can pound sand! Enough people support our cause.

Have a good week.

• Be safe out there but BE OUT THERE!
• We are valid.
• We are a part of society. 
• We MATTER. 

Thanks for visiting

Heather.

Saturday. Beware the Ides of March...

Hey, well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, got candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Well, if you want to be a movie star
I got the ticket to Hollywood
But if you want to stay just like you are
You know I think you really should

I'm your vehicle, baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you
Oh, you know I do

Well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car?
I got pictures, candy, I am a lovable ma'am
I'd like to take you to the nearest star

I'm your vehicle, babe
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go
I'm your vehicle, woman
By now I'm sure you know

That I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, I got to have ya
Great God in heaven you know I love you

And I'm your vehicle, babe
Alright

You know I love ya (love ya)
I need ya (need ya)
I want you, got to have you, child
Great God in heaven, you know I love you

Song by "The Ides of March." All credit to the songwriter, Jim Peterik

The Wikipedia page on this song is pretty interesting.

Vehicle (song) - Wikipedia

A bit of artistic liberty was taken when the lyrics were transcribed to my blog.

I remember liking this song from the first time hearing it (and paying attention to the tune and lyrics) as a young teen. The driving beat, brass and lyrics stuck with me. Forty something years later, I still enjoy hearing "Vehicle."

It's interesting how music stirs something deep inside us. It's almost like music and the arts are an essential part of the foundation of human existence. 

Looking at current events, one can only wonder how people can cut funding to the arts because of "woke" attitudes infesting are institutions. Do the people furthering these ideas not understand that the arts have been performed by "diverse people" for hundreds, nay thousands of years? Can you just imagine how their minds would be blown when they learn that in the 1500's, actual men wore "female" clothing and acted in "female" parts on the Shakespearean stage? I know! It's an outrage. Dang ol' woke people with their new ideas trying to destroy all that is well and good about "Merica."

ps. (if you didn't know) I'm a person who was born into a body that I never felt comfortable with and live as my daily life as a woman even though the interior shell differs from the exterior presentation.

Part of why I posted about "The Ides of March" is that a couple of weeks ago someone posted photos of a banner at a political conference showing trump as Julius Caesar and promoting "The Third Term Project." We all know how March 15 worked out for Julius...

We all have to remember that nobody can define who we are. We know what's best for us. I'm an open-minded person and when presented with valid and factual information, I'm willing to change my thinking.

March 31, 2025 is a Monday. It's also Transgender Day of Visibility and I want to invite each of you to participate in being publicly visible. I will be at work. I don't know if I'm going to be doing any extracurricular activities outside of work. I'd like to believe that we'll do something special like dinner.

Another crazy thing I'd learned this week... A teacher was reprimanded over posters in their classroom. The propaganda on the posters,

"Everyone is welcome here"

and

"in this room, everyone is:

welcome

important

accepted

respected

encouraged

valued

equal"

Updated: A West Ada teacher was asked to remove signs promoting inclusivity. Controversy ensued. 

Regarding visibility, we do have a dental appointment on April 2 and I'm genuinely not sure how I'll present myself. The dentist is not exactly tolerant. My therapist asked why we go to a dentist who I called a "dick?" The simple answer is that when my spouse discovered him, they got along really well and she was comfortable. We didn't know what he'd become until a few years ago when his colors were revealed. I've thought about really putting him off and going in full regalia. I won't be able to change my nails since I had them done at a salon and long dippy colorful nails are going to be obvious. We'll see what happens. Of course, I'll blog about it.

I'll be back with more insights.

Have a great weekend.

Stay visible!

Heather

Another Sunday. Where will my day bring me?

Good morning to my friends.

What's in store for me? I'll be driving to the "big city."

I'll have to suffer through a visit to that evil bastion of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, Costco. I'll see if the kids want to go along and maybe I'll go to Kohl's and Savers too. 

My Costco membership card has a photo that's easily 20+ years old, me with ample facial hair in the early 2000's. I don't look like that in 2025 To enter Costco, you no longer "just flash your card to get in the store," your card is scanned upon entry and the person at the door compares the photo with the actual person. I've been challenged a few times with, "is HE here with you today?" To which I reply, "yes I am!" leading to apologies from them and both of us chuckling about it. I've really decided that if there's no ill intent, it doesn't bother me. The employee is simply doing their job, making sure that nonmembers aren't using the card of members.

I'm addressed by my other name at work. My co-workers will ask for help or guidance and call me using my other name. If I have a good interaction with customers, they'll often ask my name. I give my birth name. It's what's on my work ID and on my paycheck. I feel more powerful afterward. It forces THEM to understand that we exist and to understand that the garbage they're hearing on the biased media channels is not accurate.

The attacks against transgender people from the Oval Office have only strengthened my desire to move forward in life.

I. AM. NOT. GOING. AWAY. 

I hope you will also continue to live authentically. We must remain visible and present in the world.

Heather.

ps. Remember that Transgender Day of Visibility is coming up in three weeks. It's a Monday, you know that I'll be a publicly visible transgender person who is gainfully employed.

March 31. Monday, 3/31/25 TDoV. Transgender Day of Visibility. You have three weeks to get out!

"Transgendered people"

Look, we all know that there's an effort to cancel us. Don't let that happen! Get out and do something in OUR world. 

You have every right to exist. You are valid. You matter. YOU need to be seen.

I have managed to be out since November 2023. If I can exist publicly in conservative rural America, maybe you can too!

The world IS ours. Don't let hate win. It isn't always easy but every day I'm out validates my existence. 

I have to put up with intolerant crap far too often. You probably do too.

Thursday, a guy came into my office and was upset with democrats over current policies. He was unhinged on a whole new level. The woman behind him must have recognized his insanity by the look on her face (and then she apologized to me for having to deal with the public).

A crazy lady came to my work yesterday, she had all the hallmarks of bigotry. I absolutely p!ssed her off when I didn't play along with her BS comments about current events. Of course, if I comment about political topics it could be reason for termination. 

The most important things I am trying to remember for my own life are, "Be true to yourself. Don't hide. Living doesn't mean to be cowering. We must not allow ourselves to be abused or stepped on or canceled. We exist and nobody can erase us. 

Thanks for reading this,

Heather.

Exist. Do it. You are the only person that gets to decide your life.

 Hi, 

I haven't been around much. I'm still existing. Heather goes to work every day. 

It's important to acknowledge our existence. You matter. I matter. You're worthy.

Things have been mostly okay. I'm alive. 

I have never shared this publicly:

I had a medical procedure in February. It wasn't great. I guess I flatlined on the table. One third of the procedure was completed before they revived me without incident by removing the anesthetic and giving me staight oxygen. 

Jeez, I can't even think straight and they gave me straight oxygen... 

I have no negative effect from the surgery and am hoping to get the rest of the work done. I have sinus inflammation and a deviated septum. The partial surgery has improved my breathing.

As a result of the incident, my ENT has referred me to another cardiologist. (I had been to a different one a year ago but he was not helpful. It took many months to get the results of my testing.) I've been going to the ENT as Heather and this new cardiologist has only seen Heather. 

The best thing about this doctor's staff is that on my second visit, I was greeted as an old friend.

Whether you are out or not, you need to remember to live. 

One weak man's negative opinion doesn't mean anything to me. He can try to cancel us but he'll fail.

Thanks for reading this.

I'm okay. I genuinely hope you're okay too.

Heather.

January Seven, Two thousand twenty-five! I made someone's day brighter.

Hi friends,

I'm here. I'm managing as well as possible and hope y'all are coping as well as possible.

I encountered a nice person today. They were in my office. I checked them in. 

I had them enter their personal information into our computer and realized their "dead name" is the same as mine! I asked them their name and they said, "X" but I prefer "A."

I replied, " 'X?' Hey, that was my name too!"

I checked them in and our system recognized them as "X."

I thought for a second... I told my coworker, "I'll be right back." I go to the lobby.. and ask 'A' "you said you prefer 'A,' right? I tell her, I can't promise it'll work but I'll put that you prefer 'A' and hopefully it will work but listen for either name..."

I run back to my computer... hit the edit button for their info... hoping that someone hadn't claimed their task... and updated their profile...

A few minutes later, Julie comes to call her next customer, opens the door and calls "A." 

My direct co-worker said that "A" smiled.

I got shivers! I felt that I had genuinely done my good deed for the day!

I hope this little interaction brings a bit of happiness to your day.

Heather.