Two days 'til Heather goes to work

Halloween is getting closer. The excitement and nervousness are building. 

My first year and second years, I was the first employee our customers saw when they came into the office.  It was fun.  I don't recall anyone speaking ill of me, directly.  Last year I was behind the scenes and didn't really have much contact with customers in the office.  For 2019, I'm going to be up front again!  I'm going to love the contact with everyone. I always have a smile on my face and in my voice when dealing with our customers.  I don't know how many co-workers are playing along. One of the women has a serious medical issue and won't be in, another is a party pooper and my "partner in crime" will be dressed in some kind of non standard work outfit.  I'm begging her to be a "Golden Girl" with me!

I've shown most of the women in the office the photo of my outfit. One woman even cancelled her day off because she wanted to be there for Halloween!  My skirt suit is washed and only needs to be pressed to be ready for the big day. 

We're also doing the "trunk or treat" again.  This year, it will be from 6 - 8 pm.  I'm going to be a bit chilly but it will be SOOOOO worth it.



Talk to y'all later

Heather

3 Saucy Wenches at the Renaissance Fair

We went to the fair and I've spent my second day dressed in public within two weeks.  Life is good.

The original plan for Saturday was to spend a couple of hours finding something to wear for Halloween with one daughter and then pick up the other daughter and go to the fair.  Reality is always different from the plan.  I left about 30 minutes later than I'd planned and learned while driving that both daughters were interested in going shopping.  I arrive at their home to find that reality is always different from the plan!  They weren't quite ready and once they were, we decided to just head to the fair.  I'll update later about shopping for the Halloween outfit.  It's pretty great!

When daughter 2 and I went to Pirate Fest last year, I never felt comfortable with myself.  Because of that, I kept my large hat low and covering my face.  After finding self-confidence in Provincetown, I had no problem feeling comfortable.  I wore my hat over a long bandana to keep the sun off my head but it never was covering my face nor did I walk with my head held low.  After the sun was lower in the sky, I removed the hat and just wore my bandana. 

We strolled the fair for about six hours.  In that time, we: met up with friends of both daughters, enjoyed a picnic lunch and visited many of the merchants.  The other attendees were dressed in clothes ranging from average street clothes to elaborate Renaissance garb to Highland garb to Pirate to Anime to CosPlay to Furry to almost nothing.  "Almost nothing" woman was wearing a chainmail bikini with a single "string" of chain in back. 

Walking through to fair, I saw some people who I think may have been participating in the cross-play as I was.  Their choices of attire were pretty amazing.  Kind of a SteamPunk look in black with the trenchcoat and so-high heeled boots.  Another was just in a medieval style peasant dress.

Our day was well spent at the fair.  Three saucy wenches were out and about.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my story!

Heather

October 11 is National Coming Out Day

Hi again,

From the headline you may have an idea of this post's theme.

You're partially correct if you think I've shared my gender concept with someone.  I recently spent a week with my parents and sister.  They are somewhat aware of my Halloween exploits.  I told my Mom and Dad ALL about my experience from Halloween 2018.  From the shopping trip to buy the dress, going to the supermarket before work, the boss telling me I'd earn her respect if I managed to wear my heels for the entire day, the "trunk or treat" and handing candy to hundreds of kids, going to a friend's office and helping her, dinner out and winning second place in a costume contest.  Last year when I told them, I held back the best part of my tale.  I told my parents that because I was so busy with all the work we did last Halloween, I missed out on my chance to early vote as Heather and that It really was a disappointment.  I told them how I raced home from work the next day so I could change out of my work clothes and into the same clothes I'd worn the previous day to cast my ballot!  My parents told me that they thought I really pulled off my look well.  Also told me that they were impressed that I was confident enough to do it.  I threatened to bring Heather next time I visit.

Thank you for stopping by!

Heather

Happy New Year.

I'm writing this while in my favorite skirt, blue lace camisole, black leggings and a flannel shirt.  Pink finger nails, green toe nails (jeez, hope I'm not turning preppy!) and my gold hoop earrings.  I hope we have a fabulous 2017 even with the obvious 1000 pound, orange gorilla in the room and the changing political tide. 

If I have any real goals for the coming year, they are just to be happy and healthy.  I plan spend more time in Heather mode out in the world and hope to spend nearly every day in some form of women's wear.  As it is, almost all of my time spent at home is in a skirt & blouse and I have a nice assortment of nightgowns.  Hopefully, I'll be able to improve my make-up skills.  I'd like to buy a couple pair of slacks and most importantly a natural looking wig. 

I don't know about "coming out" to more friends or family but that is a decision that I've contemplated just to making my life easier.  We must live our lives in a way that is most fulfilling to ourselves.  I can't explain why I feel better when I'm presenting as a woman but I'm so much more comfortable and happy like this.  Why do people like sex, sports, art, music, jogging, cooking or living in a way with which others may not agree?  Damned if I know, I just like what I'm doing.

I plan to travel more (especially in skirts).

Thank you for reading my many stories.  Happy New Year.

Heather.

My visit.

Good morning.  Happy Hanukkah.  Merry Christmas.

My wife and I went to the city yesterday to have dinner with my adult daughters.  Before we left home, I asked if there would be any other people attending.  No, just the four of us.  Ok, engage Heather mode...full speed ahead!  I have a nice green tee/tunic with lace trim at the bottom.  I think the look is complimentary on my figure.  That top with my navy paisley skirt and tights brought out the best of Heather.  On the way out of town, the car needed to be re-fueled.  I took the initiative to pump gas because my wife was too chilly to do it.  We made the seventy mile trip without drama.  This was my first time at their house if full Heather mode.  Youngest daughter opened the door, looked and smiled when she saw me.  Yes, they are very accepting of most things.  That younger generation seems to only have hang-ups about hate, bullying and meanness.  After dinner, I asked what their plan for the evening was.  "Mom is coming over probably around 6:00" was the reply from eldest.  We all get along ok but neither wife nor I really wanted to see Ms. Ex-wife so we knew that we'd be heading out in a short time.  We also needed to meet one of my co-workers so I could sell her a three of the Android tablets we'd bought a few months ago.  It is important to always have an "out" if you don't want to do something!

It was a great visit.  We had lots of fun and silliness.

Happy Holidays

Heather.

The question that I was asked.

My spouse often asks me the same questions, over and over again. 

Do you love me?
Are you happy?
Can I stay another day?

The answer is an unconditional yes, every time.

She tossed me a new one on Thursday: "Are you satisfied?"

Heather has been "out" for about a year, now.  I'm very happy with that decision and for the most part, I'm satisfied with my life.  There are things I would love to have and for things I'd like to be different.  Financially, I am nowhere near what I want to have to support us after retirement.  Physically, I enjoy good health with only a couple of joint issues that cause pain.  Work...as long as I'm working for someone else, it'll always just be a job.  In terms of Heather's existence, I have things that I strongly desire but I know that some are possible/realistic and some are just a pipe dream.  I just need to keep her on a dime-store budget.

We're heading into a new year and I'm looking to spend more time living life my way.  I fully intend to spend more time on the town.

Today is Christmas Eve.  Wife and I will go to the city to spend time with my daughters, who are aware of Heather.  I'll also visit a good friend to deliver some trinkets.  At least part of the trip will occur in a skirt and blouse.  The only issue that I have is a lack of winter footwear.  I will need to find a store that sells something in my size.  Payless lists large sizes on the website but I've not seen any available in my area stores.

Merry Christmas to all!

Why am I thankful?

Danger, opinion ahead!

First of all, I'm not thankful for the treatment of the First Americans.  We seem to bless our families and friends, our bounteous harvest, the many material things we possess.  We seem to forget those who were trampled along the path. 

Tough question, but here goes. 

I am thankful for:
My voice.  I am proud to be able to voice my opinion and to sing along with the radio among other things.

My family.  Three great kids, seven cats, parents, sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends.  All of them exposed me to crazy, funny, smart or outrageous ideas. 

Health.  Relatively good health, all around. 

Home.  We've got a good spread out here in the desert!  The cats seem to approve of it.

The ability to be myself.  I'm glad to be able to do what I do.  I like my choice of clothes.  A skirt, camisole, blouse, stockings, heels, painted nails, mascara. 

Am I going to a turkey dinner on Thursday?  I think so.  I'm not thrilled by the seventy mile drive out and back.  It will be nice to see family.  Thankful that I won't have to cook.  Thankful that I'll be able to wear my favorite skirt for the drive home.  Then, I'll make another round trip Friday morning for my scheduled blood donation and maybe some shopping.



Heather

Hello to a different world.

Political topic, beware!

I cannot say that I have ever felt anxiety in my life.  November 8, changed this fact.  All evening I felt short of breath, my heart was pounding and I felt a true fear.  Then I saw a posting from one of my adult daughters that said some of her friends were near suicide over the result of an election.  I reminded my daughter that people need to be sure to have their voices heard.  Stand up, tell your Senator or Representative. 

That night, I had a tough time getting to sleep and it wasn't even restful.  I still feel anger about the result of that election.  FBI Director Comey needs to be reprimanded for his actions.  If you're going to charge a person with something, at least be sure the charge is going to stick.  I agree with Mrs. Clinton that he is a contributing factor to her loss.  I am disturbed by the allegations of her being crooked while her opponent has had plenty of dirty deals during his career.  Not only dirty deals, he is a sexual predator and a liar.  He's not a politician, they say.  An outsider is what we need.  Ok.  Let us find one who isn't Trump.  But also find an outsider that doesn't want us to embrace Christian family values, exclusively.  I may not agree with the way some religions treat their followers but our nation was founded on religious freedom, among other things.  We can enjoy freedom of religion or freedom from religion.  I don't want others to tell me how to live my life.  I am happily married to a woman.  Why should my cousin not be able to enjoy that same thing if she chooses?  My wife has a cousin who is married to a great guy, I'd sure hate to see him have is marriage dissolved.  Everyone deserves to live a happy life.  Our nation has made some amazing strides in the area of human rights and I surely hope to enjoy even more.   (And...don't call me Shirley!)

For much of my life, Heather D. Waters has been repressed, stuck in a closet, bottled up.  I won't let that happen again, regardless of a political climate or change of tolerance.  Heather has enjoyed her emergence over the past year and is truly excited about the future adventures to be shared with the world.  This girl is out and proud!

I am not going to let political change stop me from dressing in my favorite skirt, blouse and heels!  I'm looking forward to my next trip to the city, I'm tempted to go all out.  I've shared my Halloween photo with my Facebook family and friends, I got lots of positive reactions.  I think I looked ok.

Happy Halloween

I've done something I cannot remember doing too often in the past.  I have set out my clothes for tomorrow.  Skirt, peach colored top with embroidered butterfly and flowers, favorite bra, knickers, nylons and black sandals.  .Also, I've loaded a purse and wallet.  After I do my make-up, my cosmetics will also be placed into my bag.  

My partner in crime texted me earlier, asking if I was still dressing up tomorrow.  I affirmed that I am.  We joked that we hope we're not going to get into trouble for cross dressing at work.

I am so excited to be able to dress up at work.

Heather.

Well said, Tim Gunn

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/tim-gunn-fashion-industry-needs-makeover/#.WBZpGGAQ49w.facebook 

I think what he is saying is great.  It doesn't go far enough, though.  I think the sizing conventions need to be re-addressed.  I should be able to buy the same numeric size from any manufacturer and get a comparable fit.  Also, only have one sizing convention.  Eliminate something, too.  Why is there a juniors size, regular size and a woman's size.  I've found nice clothes that were marked XL but I don't know what tiny person would be considered XL in that world. 

The next thing is...Tim Gunn left out our demographic.  What the Hell is the big idea behind clothing not readily available to women, trans or genuine, who may have a longer torso.  I don't want to wear a camisole, tank or blouse that fits like a "belly shirt."  Then there's the lengths of women's pants.  Do they think that all women have the same inseam?  And... the lengths are two inches apart.  In men's sizes, I can get a 29, 30, 31 or whatever.  Jeez.

Rant over.

ps.  I would love to be a model on "Project Runway!"  It would be fabulous to be fit with clothes made just for me! 

Heather.

Our weekend of dreams?

I have the day off of work and don't have to return until Monday.  Halloween.  My original plan for the weekend was to do everything en-femme.  No EXCUSES!  My, how plans change.  We've decided to try selling stuff Saturday at a flea market in the parking lot of the local VFW.  No, I cannot attend this event dressed in a skirt and blouse, as much as I'd like it.  Our town is just a bit too conservative, religious or is it too Republican...  Most of my home time is already spent dressed up, even/especially if I'm some kind of work or cleaning something.  I'll still spend at least part of today, Saturday afternoon, all of Sunday and Monday as Heather and I'll love it. 

I have a partner in crime for Halloween!

I told my deskmate of my plan to dress in a skirt on Halloween.  My "reason" that I told her was that so many people come into the office and reply to me, yes ma'am.  She, said that she would wear a suit and tie in contrast to my skirt.  Immediately after my telling her this, a person came in and replied to me...yes ma'am.  We both chuckled.  I'm so looking forward to Monday!

The sadness of Monday

I often feel bad that on Monday morning, Heather is hidden beneath a man's button down collar and khakis.  Sure, I'm almost always "underdressed." And I do have polished toenails and sometimes there's a subtle hint of polish on my fingers but Heather needs to know the satisfaction of going to work like any ordinary Joe. 

When I'm "underdressed," I will usually wear a lightly padded bra with some cotton handkerchiefs folded into a triangle as an augmentation but I also own two pair of breast forms, a set of "A" and a "C" size.  I have a couple of shirts that are loose enough that I have worn the "A's" out in the world while in drab-mode.  I'm considering enjoying a day at work with my "A's" under the stuffy office attire.  This may help my desire to spend more time as Heather.  My biggest complaint is that the breast forms all have protruding nipples.  I don't know of a woman who has stiff nipples all the time so clearly it is something to sell the product but I'm not looking to sell any product.  My goal and desire is to be dressed as I please.   I'm not needing assistance in attracting attention.  Ok.  Rant over.

Of course, I'm still toying with the prospect of celebrating our day "out" a week from Monday but lately I am feeling a personal pressure to come out and just live as Heather... 24/7.  When at home, I'm almost never wearing male clothes unless I'm doing some kind of labor that may damage my nicer clothes. 

Our "Personal Holiday" or is it just Halloween?

We all know that Halloween is revered as a day we can do anything and go anywhere dressed as we like.  Can I have the strength to go to work en-femme?   My dream is that at the end of the work day, I will proclaim "this is the greatest thing I've ever done, so comfortable" and tell them that I'll be wearing a skirt to work every day.

I think I need to roll with anything that may come from going to the office in a blouse, skirt, hose and heels.  I don't think there will be bad comments from my co-workers but I am the only male and as far as I know the only one with gender issues. The women are all married or divorced and I don't think any are lesbian.  There are some that are "ultra-conservative" or religious but I am hoping that they'll be cool.  Fortunately, all of the bosses are pretty cool and seem to be open minded.

One of the odd things that happens when people talk to me in the office is that people often reply "yes, Ma'am" to me.  This happens both with co-workers and clients, it is almost as if they already know!  I've never alluded to my being transgender beneath my work slacks and button-down collars but I get a sense of satisfaction out of it.

My office is closed Friday the twenty-eighth and always I'm off on the weekend.  I plan to take advantage of the entire weekend to dress, do errands and generally do anything en-femme.  I've already shared this with my spouse and she's fine with it.  The edict was issued that if we are going to dress in the office, the outfit cannot be offensive to our co-workers or clients.  I don't think it'll be offensive to anyone but some may be taken aback by the sight of me, the first person our clients meet.  Do I buy make-up for this adventure?  The only thing I have is some nail varnish in various colors.  It'll be a good excuse to get a foundation, mascara and lipstick.  Or do I go for the natural look by skipping the make-up and breast forms. 
Why do I need to worry about this.... GIRL PROBLEMS!

I made it!

I enjoyed my day out yesterday.  I cannot say whether anyone noticed the amazing color on my nails but if they did I was not aware of it.  I felt so confident.  My next trip out may involve me wearing a skirt and doing a bit of a gender blender thing.  I've got a knee length mini skirt that I like wearing.  The nice thing is I've worn it around our property many times and I'd say that from a distance, it looks like shorts.  Again, whether or not it has been noticed by people in the neighborhood is unknown.  I've thought about wearing this skirt and a men's shirt with my sandals.

Taking a public step! I'm excited.

I've painted all my nails; my toes are a brownish color called French Roast and my fingers are a nearly pink, glittery color called Intimate.  My spouse and I are going to the city and I've decided to not remove the colors.  Woo Hoo!

An idea

Here I am all worried about what the world will think if I'm in public dressed in clothing marketed to women but the realization hits me that I see women cross dressing all the time.  I'm thinking that if a genetic woman can wear her hair closely cropped, go in public wearing garments marketed toward men, not wearing jewelry or make-up and just look like a dude, why do I worry about being cross-dressed in public wearing all the things she has chosen not to wear?  I realize that women have fought a battle for equality for many years and I have the utmost respect for this but in the end I just want to be happy and comfortable with who I really am and not have to live with my internal identity battle on a daily basis.

Hello again.

I love to dress in clothing marketed to women! 

Until next time...

Heather

Hello again.

As I sit at my desk with my glistening nails, diamond studs in each ear and blue skirt with white blouse, I contemplate the decision to present myself publicly as a female.  I have a very supportive wife and my two adult daughters know my secret.  The reaction from them was a bit underwhelming, mostly a "meh" response but considering the way each of them seems to be an activist for equal rights, LGBTQA equality and stories shared on social media I expected some kind of acknowledgement.  On their last visit, I shared my secret of wearing clothes that match my inner identity and offered some of the clothes I had purchased from thrift stores but did not fit me.  They took a couple of sweaters and blouses from my collection.  Later that evening,  they decided that they were a bit too warm and I shared a couple of skirts and we went to look at the stars and moon through our telescope. 

In my small hometown and considering my current employment, it is not easy to be able to be dressed in public.  One of the issues is that the town is small and very conservative while another of my concerns is that I'm employed in a position in which forty to one hundred or more people come in daily.  This prospect makes me nervous to do something as simple as hold a garage sale with my wife, let alone moving about town en-femme.  I simply do not wish to have the customers served by my employer knowing where I live.  My spouse and I have joked that should we have a sale, I might be better off in girl mode.

On one of our recent trips, my wife asked my if I'd given myself a femme name that I used.  I told her I had not but in the late 90's, I had fancied the name Cyndi but I never used the name.  She offered a number of names but I told her that I would pick the first name she said.  I have adopted the name Heather for my femme self.  It was never a name I'd considered but it feels like a comfortable fit.

Until next time...

Heather

Saturday and my dilemna

My wife and I were working in the garage, making way for some new treasures when her new found friend arrives.  At the time I was wearing a beige knee-length skirt and lace trimmed tank top.  I have "come out" to exactly four people in the real world; my ex-wife (when we were married), my current wife and my two adult daughters. 
I heard the car pull into the dirt driveway and was a bit panicked because I wasn't sure if I could handle being discovered.  I made my quick decision to wait behind the wall until I could slip out the side door of the garage unnoticed and run to kitchen door to change to boymode. 
Yes, I chickened out.  Every day when I'm at work.  I'm jealous of the women in blouse and skirt or a dress and long to be dressed just like them.  I try to spend all of my home time in a skirt or dress and if we choose to go out for fast food in the evening I usually will be fully dressed.  Why did I chicken out?  I think that part of it is that I don't want to jeopardize my wife's new friendship but I don't think the friend would really care what I'm wearing. 
Maybe I will overcome my worry and be comfortable in front of our friend but for now I remain a creature of the night.
Until next time...
Dee